All On The Table
by bellart
Summary: They know each other secrets, and now everything is on the table.
1. Chapter 1

_**I've published this story almost a year ago, but I had to change it a bit so it could flow more naturally into next chapter.** _

_**The rest of the story is actually my own version of season 8, so some events (as well as characters that actually appear in series) are twisted, so that could go along with my own plot. Also, some things as "M&M's" silly conversation never happened in my fic, so Deb and Dexter never had proper conversation about her feelings. But that doesn't mean it will be forgotten, I promise.:-)  
**_

_**Oh and there is a time jump between these events and next chapter. ** _

_**And...I don't own any of these wonderful characters .**_

* * *

_**All on the table**_

_"She is getting thinner",_ I think to myself. She is getting weaker, maybe I should keep this conversation for some other time.

I can see her eyes sparkling in the night as the TV lights splash across the walls. She is not even watching, she is lost somewhere in her thoughts. I'm standing in the doorway and waiting for her to realize I'm here. There is lump in my throat, and it's getting difficult to breathe as I finally make my decision.

I move to the counter and slowly place her file on in. Deb's eyes slowly travel to mine and she wordlessly stands up and approaches to see what was the object she saw in my eyes. As she comes closer, her eyes widen in disbelief. This scene is so similar to the one we had few weeks ago in my apartment, when she so disrespectfully shattered all my deepest secrets on the table. Only this time, roles have changed. I'm the judge,and she is the suspect. No, she is guilty. Guilty as hell of hypocrisy.

* * *

Last night she once again gave me one of those speech about being sick of lies I was feeding her her entire life. She was angry because she found out that same woman that killed Sal Price is the same woman I'm sleeping with.

" You have been Moser much more then Morgan…You have betrayed me so many times, just like Brian did. Only he fucked with me for few months, and you've fucked up my entire life. I'm an accomplice now, and I'm too deep in this shit. I am responsible for every murder you commit equally as you are from the moment we burned down that church. Why, thank you Dex-"

I cut her off bitterly. "If I was much more of a Moser, you would've been dead long time ago, Debra! And your fucking Morgan family name lost a lot of the shine when YOUR father decided to make his own vengeful killer, his fucked up evil Batman, to take care of shit he wasn't capable of! He was too much of the coward to do it himself so he made me the way I am! This is _your_ father's doing, Debra! THIS is how he raised me! Not to mention that he got my mother killed, so don't talk about Morgans like they are some kind of sacred family!"

This gets under her skin as she comes closer and hisses." How dare you…?"

She is shaking now and I can see from the corner of my eye that her fist is making move, but this time I just won't let her. I grab her wrist swiftly and pull her just an inch away from me. Any other person would be terrified because I'm sure I'm making horrific picture with my face twisted in anger. There are tears of rage in her eyes and I wonder will she come to visit me in my prison cell before I get lethal injection, because I'm quite sure that this is my last night as a free man.

"If my father made those mistakes, what did I do…?How did I deserve to be so utterly fucked by you every single time…?Why can't you be honest with one fucking person that never lied you, that never let you down? Yes, you are Moser, because you guess what…?Those things that your brother did, and these things you have done to you victims are nothing compared to pain the two of you caused to me. And there is not one single thing you can do with your fucking knife that can be more horrible then what you have already done to me with your lies. You cannot possibly cut deeper."

Last words she says barely above whisper, and her trembling breath stops near my lips. She should be scared, but she isn't. After all, I killed dozens of people and it is pure insanity pushing me further when I'm in this kind of condition. We look each other like two animals and then she violently wrenches from my grip and turns around. Only then I realize that there will be bruises on her arms as she absently rubs her wrists.

"Get out, Dexter. Go sleep at your apartment or where the hell you want, or do whatever the fuck you want. Congratulations, you have finally succeeded to ruin every bit of trust I had in you.",the way she says that is making me even more angry, and in one brief moment I wish to grab her again and shake her, but stop myself with last atoms of my self-control. I leave her house without another word.

When I came to work this morning, I fully expected to see her coming into my lab with cuffs, but she just avoided me. Anyway, my paranoia was doing it's best on me, as Dr Michelle Ross walked by me and gave me one strange look. Ten minutes later I was in her office while she was on the lunch brake. Fifteen minutes later I had Debra's personal file from her sessions with Dr Ross safely stashed in my bag.

* * *

So here we are, in the moment of truth. My Dark Passenger fully exposed, and her own secret is about to put that final nail in our broken relationship. Since she didn't hold anything back last night, I will return the favor.

She is getting thinner and weaker. That should concern me, that should soften me so I would make this easier on her, but it doesn't.

So I set myself in my most merciless mode and wait for her to make the first move. Except she is frozen across the counter as her gaze rests on bunch of papers between us.

"Do you know what this is?", I ask her, my eyes piercing her.

"Yes.", she answers, her voice scared and insecure. I was done with being the one that gets judged. This is sort of revenge, but it also burns deep inside me with feeling of confusion and nausea, reminding me that I am some sort of human after all. Something is warning me that I should be more careful than ever, but I cannot stop myself this time.

Our conversation last night left deep hole in me,so I wanted to get even. I wanted to cause her some kind of pain, and this was the closest my Dark Passenger will ever get to her.( It was clear to me long time ago that Deb was indeed the safest person in the world as long as I'm around to protect her. I have killed for her before, and I would do that again, if necessary.)

"Would you care to explain what is written in your file, Deb?", I tilted my head. She keeps staring at the file, so I reach with my hand to open it when she stops my hand with her own."Fuck, Dex! Don't! Just leave it."

I look at her darkly and she knows that it's all on the table, and that I won't let her get away from this. "It says something interesting, since you don't want me to open it. Could that be some important thing you didn't confess me? I guess that makes you a liar, Debra, doesn't it?"

She squeezes her eyes, and shakes her had again."It wasn't like that, it wasn' t, …stop. "I want to hear those words from her mouth, so I push the subject further, ignoring her pleading eyes.

"What was it like, then?", I cut out every word sharply,and then after few moments in silence I suddenly raise my voice "What is in the file,Debra?"

" says something I realized and... I went to the church that night to tell you that I'm fucking in love with you.:

Instead of feeling of victory for finally getting the upper hand after a long time nausea returns and it hits me harder this time. How could she?

I was supposed to be her brother,Harry _taught _ her that I am her brother. He taught _me _that.

"That is crazy idea. We were raised like brother and sister. You were not supposed to feel those kind of things. And, you were supposed to tell me that earlier, before all of those fights we had about me lying to you, Deb. Because this makes us both liars and it makes all of your efforts to help me useless, since you're the one that's being dishonest for quite some time now"

"I know…I tried to… tell you…I tried to fucking fight it.", she desperately tries to collect herself and explain everything to me, and fails miserably in those attempts. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for not telling you. You should have known, you had every right to. But when I came into church to talk about this you were busy with…all that Travis shit and…Later, there was no time…no opportunity to compose my thoughts…I … when I saw you with fuking Hannah it…She triggered it again and…I'm sorry,Dex. I can't say anything else."

She calms her breath and then she adds "But it's not the same, anyway... I'm not even sure I like you anymore... And I.. I know I've been pain in the ass, but I'm only trying to help you _because_ I love you."

I just shake my head and roll my eyes at her statement. I know she's right and she's telling the truth but I'm so fucking tired of being judged. That's why I like being around Hannah. No hard looks, no judgment, only freedom and chance to be what I am. It's not that way with Debra, she keeps trying to control me, to lock me up. But the lock simply won't hold.

"I need to clear my head.", she says, keeping herself from looking my way."I need to leave. I can't fucking look at you."

"Where do you think you're going? This conversation isn't over! After living our entire life as siblings, _now_ you're telling me you're in love with me?! After attacking me because of my secretes, _now_ you're running away after I just unraveled your?It won't do, Deb. Leave those keys, and get back here._Now_."

There is such level of venom injected in my words, that she flinches and takes step back. This is the first time after awhile I see her terrified of me, and it gives me the feeling of power. The problem is I don't know where I'm going with all of this. What solution can I think of? This is more then shock to me, and it's certainly far more worse for her.

"Talking about sickness, sis. I think _this _is sick and _far from normal._"I venomously say.

Then it happens, I can almost feel something breaking in her as she takes in one sharp breath and gets out of her house as fast as she can. I wait for a second, thinking what I should do, and then quickly come after her. I try stopping her, but she slaps away my hand and says something muffled like "Fuck you", but I just ignore her and pull her in hug until she stops trashing .

When I look up, her eyes are wet, but she calmly asks me to let her go. I do as she asked me, and Deb gets in her car and drives off.


	2. Chapter 2

Now, seven months after Deb and I had that argument over her secret, everything's changed. Deb seems to be done chasing me, and I have nothing else on my mind but to bring my sister back into my life. Regardless of what Harry says, I don't care if she's angry or not, the only thing I know is that we're not better off apart. So I try my best not to listen to me deceased father, and after awhile, I manage to chase him away. But of course, Brian appears, and as he does, my kills become more fun. It would be so easy to go down the rabbit hole… But I can't afford that, not now when Deb is doing her best to push me away.

When I think back to that night when she told me she's in love with me, something bothers me. I could've been, no, I should've been much more careful. Was it my internal desire to hurt her back, or what…? Her feelings were much stronger then I thought, and that realization struck me the moment she decided to spare me and kill Laguerta. I betrayed Hannah for her, and she betrayed herself for me in return.

But it's not the night of Laguerta's murder that tore us apart, not really.

It was her confession and my reaction to it, that broke our relationship long before she put a bullet trough our captain.

After waiting for hours for her to return, I left to Hannah's place and spent entire weekend there. Deb never called, and when we saw each other at work few days later we pretended like everything is okay. She was my sister again. Only I wasn't her brother anymore.

Something in her eyes was different. Like she was bleeding from the inside. That was the time she started using medications to get trough day, but I was too busy to notice where it was leading. Hannah was kidnapped, and I was _so scared _ to loose her that Deb wasn't my priority at all.

Then the car accident came, and Hannah's… imprisonment came, and Laguerta's death came.

And suddenly, my perfectly constructed life shattered right in front of me.

It was clear to me on New Year's Eve, when I saw ominous gift in front of my door. Deb walked past it, and when I unlocked the door she took Harrison from my arms and went to his room.

Shocked, I carried the orchid inside and there I found Deb laying on the floor and holding Harrison like her life depends on it. She sang him to sleep as tears mixed with mascara run down her face and left small black dots on soft carpet. I slid down the wall in my kill clothes and kept flower in my hands. Both Harrison and I managed to fall asleep from her soothing song.

When I wake up few hours later, she is still holding him, awake, her tired, red eyes fixed on orchid. There is uncomfortable silence between us, so I stand up and make my way to the kitchen to fix us something to eat. Of course, I end up eating everything, as Deb can't take a single bite. Hannah's present remains on a table between us, and suddenly Deb's confession comes back to me. I get up and throw orchid in a trash.

"There, is this better? Now eat something, I haven't seen you eat anything for ages.", I say in my usual tone.

She just curls up on couch and closes her eyes.

"It's not better. It's never going to be better.", she whispers, broken.


	3. Chapter 3

So Deb is now pretty much in distress. And she seems like a changed person. Well, that's the only thing I could get from occasional curse words she throws my way whenever I try to come closer to her. Oh, and she said she should've killed me. I pretend it didn't mean anything. But I almost killed a guy because he cut my way off with his car. During the day. But, nah, it's not a big deal.

Now Debra works for a former cop, Jacob Elway, and she dresses like a hooker and follows criminals who steal jewelry, and manage to get themselves caught on tape while doing so. She puts herself in danger on daily basis, trying to run away from her life, and Laguerta's murder. And I fully intend to stop her at some point, if only I could know how.

Jacob and I could've been good friends. That is, if I wasn't psychopathic killer, and if a mask I put on for him, and, well, for the rest of the world was real. He is very easy person to talk to, and I usually don't have that opinion of many people. His presence doesn't annoy me, and my relationship with him sometimes reminds me of my relationship with Brother Sam. We take our beers out and sit on the balcony, watching the sunset. Today is the third time we drink beer, and it's nice for a change to have a conversation with someone without acting like everything is fine and well. Elway knows that Deb and I are not in good relations, and he is right now the only bond we have.

She divorced herself from Miami Metro pretty radically , and all her friends over there ( including Angel) got bored with endless voice messages that greeted them whenever they dialed Deb's number. So, the fact that Elroy likes me, and the fact that he likes to drink a beer on a balcony of his own gym helps me to be closer to Debra. Especially because she exercises in that same gym when she's not working. And that timing usually fits with me coming to meet Jacob. How convenient, indeed.

He talks about some old case back then from his days at the force, and that happens to be one of my cases, too. Luckily, that doesn't happen to be one of my little personal projects, so there is no need for lies. I dare a glance through glass doors and I see my newest obsession walking in and talking to one of the boys, Rafael. Her hair is messy and… did I just saw blood on her shirt? Rafael hurriedly comes over to us, and in that moment Deb looks at us and freezes when she sees me. I can see it more clear now, she is barely standing, grasping at her stomach, and yes, bleeding. I get up quickly and Rafael almost knocks me when he pushes the doors open.

"Jake! Deb's got into a fight." he says. The worry in this big man's voice makes both Elroy and me forget about our drinks and our previous conversation in a second.

We both get inside, and Elroy manages to get to her in two steps. She is shaking and he hugs her and something in me growls. "_ It was supposed to be me."_ I can't help but think that. Funny thing, since, it was always Deb hugging me, and me dogging the awkward touching.

"_It is never going to be you.", _Brian's voice appears from nowhere, sinister and chilling.I don't have time to consider why he's appeared right now, since all I can think which way I'm going to kill the idiot who did this to her when I get him on my table. I'm thinking…Cordless saw, maybe? Or I could cut his body parts, one by one, until he dies from pain. That's new. Good. I'm still capable of inventing something new in my craft, even after all this years. Dexter the Inventor.

"What happened, Deb?", I ask her.

" What the fuck is he doing here?", she asks Elway as her face quickly twists in anger.

She keeps telling me she hates me, and that burns… But her eyes in this single moment cut me ten times worse. It is obvious she is done with me. Well, I have something to say about that, Debra. _It is over when I say it is._

"Your brother came to see me. That's not important right now. What happened? Did he beaten you? Do we need to go to the hospital?", he asks her, concerned.

" No, we don't need to go to the fucking hospital. He and I… We were attacked. He has bruises, I have bruises. Those fuckers who thought I'm helpless little cunt have bruises. They drew the shortest straw in all of this, after all. Nothing a bandage and few beers won't heal. Good thing is that I got his trust this time, it won't be long before he shows me the jewelry, I'm sure. And this man here, he isn't my fucking brother. I don't have brothers.", she says all of these things in one breath, that I almost don't catch her last words. Almost.

" A little fight? What the fuck, Debra? Haven't I fucking warned you to stay away from the trouble as much as I can?", he raises his voice, and I wake up from my numb state.

These words she just effortlessly let slip her mouth, these ugly, poisonous words, they grab my by the throat and make speaking difficult. And breathing is even harder. How is it possible? How can even think that, let alone say it aloud? We've been brother and sister out entire lives, and now she says something like this? Well, except the fact the she was in love with me. Or thought she was.

And the fact that I ignored her.

"_She was never your real family. You KILLED your real family. For HER. Remember?",_ my brother is standing beside Deb and eyeing marks on her neck and her hands. " _Now, that's interesting. See these marks on her neck? Those are love bites. And bruises on her hands are from where he held her. I bet she really liked it. "_

"_Get lost, Brian." _, I growl at him. "_I don't have time for this"._

"Didn't I tell you in supermarket that I don't want to leave? I did it for a good reason, Debra. You will not put yourself in danger with this guy again.", I tell her in my best commanding tone. The one that works with Harrison, and the rest of the world. But of course, it's foolish to think it can work with my sister.

" Didn't I tell you to back the fuck off? You have nothing to do with me and my life. What are you doing here anyway? Did you invite him?" she points a finger at Elroy.

"Yes, Deb, this is my gym, and I can invite whoever I want. And besides, he is really worried for you. Let's get you some bandages and all three of us can sit" he says, annoyed at first, but calming himself at the end.

"Not going to happen!" she cuts him of before he can finish "I'm done with him."

"What the fuck did he do to you? He is not bad person at all! You should try to work this out!" Elroy argues in my favor. What a crazy world, someone has to stand in my defense against person that spent her entire life defending me.

" That is none of your fucking business." She spits bitterly in his face looking directly in his eyes" And just because we fucking kissed doesn't mean you get to tell what the fuck I should or shouldn't do with my fucking life. Do you fucking understand me?"

There is a silence for few long seconds.

Is it possible that Elroy also has ulterior motive for befriending me? That's his way of getting close to her...Now I understand why he asks me about Debra's past, and her favorite things. He is _investigating _ her. And he is _using _me for that. I guess he and I do have a lot of things in common, after all. We're both manipulative in our own ways.

"I'm sorry." is all he says. Wow, Deb really has power over this guy.. Guess he really is interested in her.

" And I'm done here. We'll talk later. I'm tired." Deb walks away without even glancing at me. Rafael follows here, carrying first aid kit, and Elroy shrugs, giving me an apologetic look.

"Maybe you should go there and help her with bandages… After all, you have been sort of intimate." I say, nonchalantly . Maybe it's something in my voice that crawls under Jacobs skin, I don't know, but he starts defending himself.

"Hey, it was a one time thing. She was drunk, and…" I look at him sharply, so he raises his voice "It wasn't like that! I didn't use her or something, she went after me."

" And you couldn't simply say, I don't know …"NO", for example?" Sarcasm is more then evident in my voice.

"She was… Oh come on, look at her. Tell me, if you were in my situation, if any man was in my situation, would you behave like a perfect gentleman? This is Debra Morgan we're talking about!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"She is kind of woman anyone could easily get interested in. But you don't see it that way, I get it, she is your sister. If she wasn't, you would understand me."

Rafael comes back holding a sandwich and trying to get Elroy's attention, because he has something to ask. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Deb going out and then I excuse myself. I can see she's carrying gun, and that makes me even more unnerved. So that's the reason why she came here, to get a weapon from Rafael. She was unarmed all this fucking time? Is she insane?

Before I can get to her she is already in her car, so I follow her for half an hour, until she stops very briefly to get some beer out of store and then she heads to a hotel . I have a feeling that her fake boyfriend is here. She knocks and of course, it's Briggs who opens the door. They have short conversation, and he kisses her and lets her in. After few moments I decide I don't like her being alone with him, so I knock at their door, too. Deb opens it and if I wasn't worried about her, I would've burst in laugh when she says "WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Who's that?" male voice calls behind here. Deb and I share disturbed look.

" I think you parked wrong, miss. Would you move your car, so I can leave? Please, like, now?" I say loudly, so he can hear me too. Deb grabs my arm and pushes me further away from door, her eyes wild. She closes the door, and for the first time since she said she hates me we're alone, face to face, staring at each other like two angry animals.


	4. Chapter 4

"What are you doing here? Do you want to get me killed? Do you know how dangerous this guy is?" she asks under her breath.

"Yes, I know! That's the reason why I want you to come with me. Don't you see what you're doing to yourself?" I hiss at her. "I know you're angry at me, but come on! It's been months! You can't keep me away forever…And you really need to move on and try to forgive me, forgive yourself and forget-"

" Forget? Fucking _forget_? I will never fucking forget what I did there! Never! You can go back to your little life and pretend like everything is fine, but I can't because I'm not fucking like you! I warned you thousand times about Laguerta, but you were too busy ignoring my warnings, my phone calls , since you've been busy fucking Hannah. And in the end, I had to pay a price for your ignorance and my love for you! I wake up every morning and I think of every wrong thing I ever did for you. It exhausts me, Dexter. Sometimes it's difficult to breath when I think of you. It's making me sick. Don't follow me around, because it's in vain. Don't make that face and say you're sorry to me! And don't' you ever ask me to come back because I'm never coming back to you!" by the times she finishes her speech I have only one thought in my head. _I really need to kill someone._

This was worse than loosing Harry, Rita, Brian and Hannah altogether. She means every single word she says, and I'm left helpless, unable to defend myself, unable to fight for her. She will return to this guy and she'll end up dead in the end, because she hates me and she wants to punish me and-

" Debbie, what takes you so long? I need you here, come on hurry up.", voice from the inside calls.

He picks the wrong girl to fuck and very wrong fucking time.

I get past Deb and burst trough door, pushing it with both of my hands and I get in there and kick him as hard as I can. He falls on the ground, but he manages to avoid my second attack because Deb distracts me, shouting from behind. He gets up and says to her "Don't worry, I'll handle this fucker."

_Really? It's not Debra who should be worried. It's you, _fucker.

I notice knife on the table, at the same he sees it. We struggle but I manage to get to the knife first and stab him, and I enjoy it more than any kill in last few years. Briggs lifelessly falls to the ground, and only then I look at Deb and see her on her knees, holding her hands out as if she's going to make life come back to him that way.

I try to come closer, but she backs off, shocked and clearly afraid of me.

"I don't want to hurt you. I won't hurt you. Please, Deb. He would've gotten you killed."I crawl on all four towards her, but she shakes her head furiously.

"You're monster." She whispers, horrified . "I've been nothing more to you than a mask. All my life I thought I needed you, it was the other way around. You needed me to look normal, to hide a beast behind your cover. You hided behind your cover as a good son, good brother, perfect husband and father. You used me our entire fucking lives!"

"No, that's not true. I protected you our entire lives. I have always been so fond of you! Look at yourself Deb, you're lost!"

"No you're lost! You're lost because you don't have me as you fucking cover anymore! Your stupid little fake sister that put you on the pedestal and served you all her fucking life. She is dead, do you get it? She is gone! You killed her! You took everything you could from me! You drained all life out of me, and now there's nothing left. I have nothing left! You and my father made sure of that. I'm empty and I don't fucking care what happens anymore! It can't be worse than this!", she gets up and turns to grab a phone. "I'm calling cops. This is over."

I grab her from behind, but she kicks me with her heel instinctively, and turns around to hit me with her fist. I block her, but she won't give up easily and suddenly I'm worried one of us will get hurt. So, to prevent that, I take M99 out of my back pocket. Her eyes widen in horror when needle appears and I quickly slip it into her neck. Last thing she sees is me taking her in my arms and whispering she'll be okay when she wakes up. I need her asleep to clean the mess I made here.

"_And that's the only way to make her come with you.",_ Brian says casually as he leans against cabinet. _"She talks and screams a lot, you know. Good decision, giving her that needle. That's something I would've done… Now, I'm asking myself what else from my little playbook you could use to get her where you want her, hm ? Sure, getting rid of this guy was first serious step toward it. And drugging her, well, she can't defend herself, you can take her wherever you want. Boat, perhaps? That would freak her out. Maybe she would stop screaming at you and realize whom is she dealing with…" _

"Brian, you seriously need to disappear." I growl at him. " This is NOT very good time for you to come and torture me. You're not helping me at all. I have lost control, don't you see it? Debra will be pissed as hell when she wakes up. Oh, and you know damn well I had to kill this guy, he would've hurt her in the end!"

"_You didn't kill him because he would've hurt her. You killed him because he was standing between you and her. And yes, I'm helping you. She said she is not your sister, that makes things easier for you. Why don't you be smart for once in your life, and listen to me? What do you think I'm doing here? You lost control and you're finally free, little brother. Free of Harry's bullshit, free of fake family, and free to do whatever the fuck you want. You killed this guy because you wanted it. You marked your territory. Her."_ he points at Deb unconscious in my arms. _" That's what animals do. There is no point in denying you're one, Dexter. Just like Jordan Chase said, if you want something, then TAKE it. You want Debra, you do whatever you have to do to get her back."_

"She is going to hate me even more if it's possible at all when she wakes up." Desperation creeps up in my voice. I finally realize that I let her defeat me with all this annoying emotions. She has the upper hand now, and it doesn't feel good.. It makes me frustrated not having control, not being able to make her understand how much I need her. Without her, I'm not human, I am a beast.

" _That's right, you're beast, Dex. And beasts lie, manipulate and kill. And they do not hesitate to take what's theirs. Today it's this guy, tomorrow it will be Jacob Elroy. What if he wins her over and take what's left of that pathetic love she feels, or at least, felt for you. He will take what's yours._ "

"She is my sister!" I yell at him. This is not good, he is pushing me deeper into abyss. Where is Harry to help me now? This demon brother of mine is telling me to do something I don't want, I can't do. I can't use her love for me that way. I don't want to hurt her even more. I turn around and scan the area, and quickly work through the plan. First clean up, dump the body, drive to Debra's house. But all the way Brian follows me around and grins at me every time I look at him.

Fucking brother of mine.

* * *

She opens her eyes few hours later, and when she realizes it's her own house, Deb relaxes a bit. But still, she fixes an annoyed stare at me and corners of her lips go downwards; very safe sign she is outrageously displeased with me. However, no traces of fear are evident, and that makes me somewhat relieved, thinking maybe our conversation won't be so horrible.

"So what the fuck now, Dexter?" she breaks the silence first.

Familiar sound of her swearing makes me smile, at least that's not changed.

" I don't know, Deb. You tell me."

"You drugged me."

"You were hysterical. Someone could've heard us. And that could've put us in a big ..bigger mess then we are in already. I had to think on my feet. Sorry I scared you, but you really left me no other option." I say all of this with my most careful tone. No need for her to start yelling again. Of course, Brian rolls his eyes at this thought.

"Where is Andrew? What did you do with his body?"

I just look at her. She knows my methods perfectly well, I know better then to risk and show her how glad I was for dumping his body in the ocean.

"You chopped him up… You butchered him like he is an animal and then you dumped him in the ocean. Like trash… And you felt nothing, it was just the usual night for you…" she trails off, her voice unusually calm. Her head falls back to a pillow and she covers her eyes with her arms, tired, helpless gesture.

"Deb…"

"I felt okay around him." She suddenly gets up and leans against the wall opposite of me, watching me from above." For a moment, I felt like an ordinary woman. I felt fucking normal around him. And you took him away."

It's a funny thing when you dread of a moment when a person in moment you wakes you and starts screaming at you. You also fully expect you'll be the one who'll be rational, and you'll do your best to suppress the other one's outbursts and you'll be so calm… But instead of that you end up being the one who raises the tone first.

"You didn't belong with him!"

"Who are you to say who should I be with?" she teases, voice filled with new kind of hatred.

"I'm your brother, Deb."

"No you're not. You know you're not. You have never been my brother. I never had a brother. I just thought I had."

"_Ouch, Dex! Shit, that must've hurt. Now, goodie, Dex. Take care of her. You heard dear Debra yourself. You're not her brother. Well, you knew that all along, to be honest. You deluded yourself. And now it's time to face the consequences of your decisions, _brother. _ . . No one fucks with Dexter Morgan." _Brian whispers in my ear, and I close my eyes. This is not going to end well. I can see it. If he would just stop, before it's too late. I don't have the luxury to loose control once again. "Hurt_ her, Dexter."_

"Deb, do you hear yourself? This is ridiculous, don't you get it?" I growl at her " Are you going to spend the rest of your life hating me, hating yourself, because of what happened? What was the point of saving me, then?"

"That's exactly what I've been asking myself all these months. What's the point of trying to save someone who can't and doesn't want to be saved?"

" You did what you did because you love me."

"No, because I _loved _ you. Past tense."

"You still do, Deb. I know you do. You're just lost at the moment. And you know I deeply care about you. Come on, it's me. It's me, Dexter. One constantly good thing in your life, remember?" Last sentence sounds so desperate, that she raises her eyes questioningly, and something strange passes between us.

We look each other for what seems an eternity, and in the end I win in the staring contest. She looks away and opens her mouth. "If you love me, then stop." She says under her breath. " Just go, just… let me live my life. I'm tired of all of this. "

I contemplate about what she just said, and after few moments, decide that maybe she's right. I can give her some space, at least for now. After all, she's not in immediate danger since Briggs is dead, so no need to worry about her. Slowly I get up and grab the handle.

"I'll wait, Deb. But I don't know for how long.", I say without turning around. " We need each other, you can't deny that."

And then I leave.

* * *

Funny thing is how ignorant we can be sometimes. Once upon a time I believed that everything is in my control. Even though Rita's death and Lumen leaving left me spinning out of it, I still managed to get a grip and control my life. Although my secret got relieved to one person that I couldn't ever bring myself to kill, and I lived another day, new sense of power settled into me. But Debra managed to prove me wrong, once again. You can't control human emotions. And you certainly can't control some events. That's the way with life.

* * *

In apartment 10B in 8240 Palm Terrace, blonde woman slowly picks up a photo of Morgan siblings that's on the table. She watches the photo for few seconds, and then she puts it down, like it burned her. She searches for orchids, and finds one of them in bedroom. Flower is obviously dead, but owner apparently refused to throw it away. Woman's face lightens up, and she gently smiles to herself. From inside her purse she takes out something that looks like an newspaper article and she puts it down beside photo of Debra Morgan and Harry Morgan. And then she leaves.

Somewhere in Miami Thomas Matthews meets for a dinner with Dr Evelyn Vogel, old friend of his. There is new killer in the town, and the way he kills is especially gruesome. Digging his victim's brains, what the fuck is wrong with people these days? Chief Deputy of MMPD is really fucking tired of various Ice Truck Killers, Skinners, and Travis Marshals, only thing he wants is to work peacefully without a lot of stress, and then get his retirement and enjoy in his pension. After spending an entire life hunting bad guys and criminals, he is pretty much sure he earned it. So when Vogel calls him and offers his help, he is grateful to stars for lining up, and to fucking Mercury for being in retrograde and he is more then happy to accept her offer.

At the same time, miles away, in Fort Lauderdale one long haired man calls his boss and wipes his mouth, as he waits for Mr Bishop to answer. He is sure he's got something here, but not being able to find Bishops jewelry strangely irritates him. He is a hitman, not an investigator, for Christ sake. The only thing that makes him happy are two bullets he is going to put into this Andrew Briggs when he finally finds him.

He finally hears Bishops voice." You better have something good if you're interrupting me while I'm celebrating my son's birthday."

"Yeah, well, sorry to disturb you, but I have a tip about Briggs' whereabouts. There was rumor on the street he got into a fight with some of his old friends few hours ago, and I followed it. Seems like he's definitely here in Fort Lauderdale. And he's got himself a partner, some chick. I expect to find them soon."

"Sounds like you're really onto something. Bring me back my fucking jewelry as soon as you can. This is bad for business. Roger, my retarded manager hired some fucking Elway to find this jewelry, but I think I'm just gonna kill fucking Roger for allowing this to happen at all. Fuck private investigators, I knew you're good. Call in as soon as you have some new. Hear from you soon, Mr Toad."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Here comes chapter five! To my wonderful beta reader soodohnimh - thank you for helping me with grammar and some ideas and encouraging me to continue this!**_

_**Reviews are appreciated, so if you like my story, or you have some suggestion... feel free to post it. **_

**_Hope you'll have fun reading this. All of you who don't like Hannah, don't worry... She's here with good purpose. .._**

First thing that crosses my mind is that someone is seriously fucking with me. Dr Evelyn Vogel, woman that came into my life uninvited, claims that she is creator of Code. Yet another of Harry's lies. I'm beginning to wonder if there was single truth that he ever told me. As wind blows around me, I'm steering "Slice of Life" away from nearby boat that suddenly appears from nowhere, eating my Cuban sandwich and playing innocent. Girl from the boat waves at me, and I wave back. Hey, I'm just normal guy enjoying a ride on the sea in the middle of the night. No, those are not two dead bodies in these black bags around me. Definitely nothing to be concerned about.

I finish Cuban about the same time when my two passengers reach our final stop. Well, it was nice hanging with you guys, have a nice stay at the bottom of the ocean. I'm sure you'll find some fellow murderous rapists down there, I left them quite a lot. You can all start a club. "Dexter haters", that would be nice title. Oh wait, that club already exists. Debra is the president of it.

I enjoy silence for awhile, wondering where my sister could be right now. Waves crush against boat and I awake from my thoughts. Tall figure from the other side of boat slowly approaches me, flexing his neck and casually leaning over the deck to watch dark water swallowing plastic bags filled with what left of two killers. Brian scratches his head, looking confused.

"Remind me again, why are you still following the Code, when you clearly know it's a lie? Why do we have to suffer through all of this garbage of killing those who, according to you, deserve to die?" He looks up to the sky, deciding what to say next." You know, I like Vogel. No bullshit, nothing. She just doesn't want you to get caught, that's all. And Harry…" Brian shudders saying my fathers name. " Harry is fucking liar."

"We are not going to talk about Harry… Or the Code. Or whatever." I can't believe he is following me constantly. Why do I keep seeing him? Is this some sick, disturbed phase, or this is what my life will be without Deb? Am I loosing my mind along my sister?

"But, think about that. Wouldn't it be fun if you ditched that 'Don't kill an innocent' part?"

"Each time I stepped out of Code, it got me into trouble. Look what happened with Laguerta."

"You didn't kill Laguerta." Brian yawns.

"I wish it was me. I wish it wasn't her who pulled that trigger. Maybe she wouldn't leave me…Maybe Deb could've survived me… This way I destroyed her… It's just question of time when she'll go too far and someone will kill her. " Panic slowly arises from deep within, and I suppress it somehow. Image of Deb hurt or dead is not something I can stand. Even when I saw, or better yet, made some of the most gruesome thinks human mind can think of. She is the softest part of me, I guess. Deb and Harrison, both in their ways. Harrison is family and Deb is simply… Deb.

"Debra going down is not your fault. You didn't force her to pull the trigger. Anyway, what Vogel said is interesting. You are fond of your fake sister because she made you feel good about yourself."

"Oh, is that why you're dead?", I provoke him "Because I wanted to feel good about myself?"

"Hey, no need to get sensitive." He crouches down and picks up beer. " You are always defensive when it comes to the Morgans. Harry this, Debra that. Your fake father isn't even fake, anymore. He is worse than fake. There is no word for what he is. And Debra is no better than he is, she is his exact replica."

"Don't talk that way about my sister."

"She is not your sister!" He exhaustedly raises his voice. " I'm gonna say what's truth. What will you do to stop me, Dex? Kill me maybe?"

I give up talking to him, it's in vain anyway.

Staring the engines again, I can feel the cold breeze coming my way, and I suddenly realize it's fucking chilling out there.

Time for me to go home and get some sleep.

* * *

Debra holds a pen in one hand and bottle of stinky vodka in other. Every single piece of glass inside her house is shattered and her house reeks like something died in it. There is blood everywhere, because she accidently cut her palm and didn't bother to stop the bleeding. Somewhere beneath all that trash are photos of Morgan family. In one photo, Rita is in her wedding gown, Astor and Cody smiling, Deb in her dress, feeling like a transvestite, and him… In his black suit, with his broken wrist… In another, Harry and Doris are celebrating Deb's birthday ( it's last one before Doris died). And in third, Dexter, Harrison and Deb are playing with kites…

Deb doesn't cry. She hasn't cried for awhile. She actually doesn't have any tears left. All she wants is everything to stop. This burden has to be lifted off her chest, she has to pay that ultimate price for her mistake. She hates him, but it's too late now. She fucking hates him, but it doesn't matter anymore. He got it his way, and he knows very fucking well that she will never bring herself to hurt him. She can't fucking kill him, she can't bring him in. There is no way to stop him…

But she can punish him.

She will take away something he can't replace. And she will make sure he knows it's his fucking fault. It would be so beautiful to see how will he react when he finds out… But no, it's impossible…

So Deb writes letters to Angel, one, two, three, four… They explain how she killed Laguerta, and how she feels, but never implicates Dexter. She can't bring herself to do it, to put him on death row, and she hates herself even more. Good thing she doesn't love him anymore, if she did, she would tear her skin apart. She despises him, but he still holds so much fucking power over her. The Vodka is finally fully drained, and Deb hurls bottle against the door.

It's more difficult to express herself than she originally thought. She makes for or five drafts, and throws them into trash bin, and finally writes one short, yet understandable note. It simply says that she killed Maria and that she can't live with what she did, but she also can't look Angel in his face and tell him that personally. It also says she deserves to die by his hand but she will do it herself, because she is worthless piece of shit that has to end its poor existence this way.

Deb takes her old gun and places her badge on the table. She put the barrel on her right temple and suddenly there is such feeling of relief that washes over her. It's finally over. She loves that it's finally over. There are no flashes in front of her eyes, nothing.

She takes one deep breath and then finally says "Goodbye, Dexter."

And then right before she pulls the trigger, she sees Harrison's picture.

Innocent, helpless eyes of a boy who lost his mother, and never actually had his father are the last thing she sees before falling to her knees.

* * *

As I approach my apartment, sudden movement in my bedroom catches my eyes. I look through the blinds and see that someone is sitting on my bed. I withdraw a knife out of my pocket and slowly approach the door. It's dark inside, and I silently approach down the corridor. At least Jaime took Harrison to Orlando and he is not in danger. Ever since I found an article about Laguerta's memorial on my bed stand, I wondered who could it be. Especially because that person left no prints in my house.

One of my hands reaches for the doorknob and the other holds a blade as I burst into the bedroom. I feel prick in my back and turn around only in time to feel my consciousness slip away as I struggle to see my attacker. I'm taken by surprise when my last moments on surface bring familiar face into view.

"Hannah…." I whisper and she catches me to soften the fall.

"Sleep, my love… It's going to be okay..." She says.

Harrison keeps running away from Astor, and it makes her tired. This time, it's night, and he hid himself so good she can't find him, so she is fully aware of how dangerous this can be. Waves of panic flash through her and she can't help but think of her mother and the way she ended. Cody isn't helping very much, he is busy talking to his friends on his new phone and Jaime gave her permission to go out with Harrison without her. For the first time since she came, Jaime actually trusted her enough to let them go out without supervision and Astor screwed it up big time.

She keeps looking for Harrison and finally, when she sees he can't find him she hopelessly sits down and cries, while her phone keeps ringing. Jaime is probably already worried what happened to them, since it's pretty late, and they should've been back home hours ago.

As she weeps, one small arm reaches for her, and Harrison says "Booo yaa!" and she clings to him, so scared and relieved at the same time and keeps repeating his name "Harrison, Harrison, Harrison…" She is his sister; she has to protect him. She has to keep him safe, that's her duty. But how, when she even can't keep herself safe? She had her screwed her first guy last week and it was horrible, and she hated herself and that guy that she came on to. She came home and cried for hours for being alone and lost.

And now, while she holds her little brother she knows she has to talk to someone. She has to find some woman that knows her. That knows the real Astor, Astor she was before she lost herself.

She knows only one person.

Deb.

She takes Harrison with her, not noticing that his hands are not wet because they're sweaty.

They're covered in blood.

I wake up to find myself strapped to bed, plastic everywhere around me. Weak light coming from the other side of my apartment is enough to for me to see who's my assaulter.

It's Hannah.

"Hello, Dex.", she quietly says.

"Hannah…" I manage. "What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? Well, isn't it obvious? I came back for you. I see you kept my plant. Very considerate of you. Of course, I must ask, what happened with my other gift? Where is that black, little present I left for you before my… forced departure?"

Those last words are slowly and carefully laid out, like she tests them on the tip of her tongue. I'm not sure if I'm happy to see her, or angry for being tied up this way. She duplicated my methods perfectly, I must give her a hand for that.

"By 'came back for me' you mean you're here to kill me?"

" No… Dex… If I wanted you dead, you would be dead, trust me. Back to business…So…I came up with a little game, you know. A game only two of us can play. I have to know I can fully trust you before I introduce you to what I have in store."

"I wouldn't hurt you, Hannah. You know that very well."

"But you did! You betrayed my trust. For her!" she snaps, pointing at Deb's picture. "Did you get my message?" She quickly calms herself.

"What message?"

"That article I left you…. It was you, wasn't it? You killed Maria Laguerta. And now Deb hates you… I saw her.. She is a mess. And she wasn't in that photo so I suppose she wasn't at memorial service for your boss. I guess it was too much for her… Knowing what she knows, and turning blind eye for you… "

"Debra will be fine. I'll make sure of that. And don't come any closer to her, anymore."

"Or what? Don't worry, I don't give a fuck about your precious Debra. I want her gone away from us, that's the only thing that concerns me. Otherwise, I don't care if she's back to MMPD or at the bottom of the sea. "

"Away from us..?", I ask her puzzled.

"Yes!" she answers. "And if you want to know what I'm talking about, you'll have to play this little game of mine. I have to be going now. Sorry for the inconvenience, I couldn't take my chances. And, of course, I did it because it was fun taking off your clothes and tying you with plastic. It brings back some memories…" she comes closer and kisses me. Some warm feeling sets in, and I remember how much I miss to be this close with someone. She smells of acceptance and peace and it's not too long before I answer with my kiss and she smiles. "Let the games begin. See you soon, Dex."

With that she turns around, and leaves me to try to reach the knife she left close to my palm so I can free myself.

Dirty little vixen.

* * *

Jaime does not dare to yell at Astor in front of her sick grandparents and she honestly doesn't think it would solve anything at this point. Seeing Harrison red-handed is troubling enough without even thinking about teaching this poor, lost girl a lesson. She can't believe Astor allowed him run away from her and play with a dead animal he found.

Harrison's nanny originally planned to return earlier from Orlando, but Astor kept insisting that she brings her too. Cody has some virus, and Maura and her husband are also sick, so Astor is the only one functioning right and she has to take care of all three of them. It took hours of begging, bargaining and finally arguing with Astor's grandparents, but eventually they agreed to let her visit Dexter. But now, Astor fucked it up with almost losing Harrison. So it will take some more convincing if she wants to take Astor with her, and she really does, since Jaime has always been soft hearted person.

While she chases Harrison around house, desperate to take that blood off of him, Jaime calls Dexter to inform him she will stay longer in Orlando. He sounds nervous and in very bad mood, and her good spirit drops during every second of their conversation. The next phone call is to pretty sleepy Quinn, who is disappointed that she's staying there, since he had plans for them for tomorrow. She argues with him shortly and then he has to go, since Angel is calling him on other line. Jaime sighs, and finishes their conversation. Having brother as a cop is a lot to deal with, but having boyfriend as a detective is irritating as hell, since she feels that murders always come before her.

Harrison runs in, all the time dressed in bloody clothes. Jaime manages to catch him this time and takes him to the bathroom to wash that blood of him. Jesus Christ, where did he find dead animal?

She loves her boss and his kids. She really does. But sometimes they annoy the fuck out of her.

* * *

"Hey Dex… It's Angel here. Sorry if I'm waking you up but we have a pretty fucked up crime scene here… I know you're most probably tired and you want to keep sleeping, but we really need our blood guy. Dex… Are you there?"

Angel can't be more wrong. I'm far from asleep and I'm actually grateful they're calling me for a crime scene, since Hannah really disturbed me with her appearance two hours ago. I managed to free myself, since she didn't tie me up so hard in the first place, but it still took awhile.

She left me her phone number, and I guess the game is on. What is she doing here anyway? She could've killed me if she wanted, but she didn't, so I must think she is up to something worse, or … Do I dare to hope..? The way she kissed me wasn't so bitter like the last time we saw each other.

I collect my forensic kit and head to the address dispatch gave me. Seeing a bit of blood won't hurt, especially when I realize that my last kills didn't relieve the pressure in my head. Vogel and now Hannah have their ways of pushing my buttons. But I suspect it's not them who cause this turmoil…

When I get to the crime scene, it's even worse than Angel suggested. There are four people there, youngest of them is a fifteen year old boy with curly blond hair, and he looks exactly like Cupid in paintings. Oldest is a woman in her fifties, and a part of her brain is missing. So Vogel's tormentor is back, I think as I watch her come closer to the scene, dressed in black and with unreadable expression on her face.

Other two victims are a younger man and woman that look a lot alike. Actually, when I come closer, I realize they're most probably twins. They're positioned so their palms are together, and every single major artery in their body has been severed. There is lot of blood everywhere, and it sets my teeth on edge.

"Brain Surgeon is back." Masuka reads my mind. "And he is raising the stakes. Too bad he chooses to raise them at the same time I raise them with my new girl."

"Oh you found yourself a new prostitute?" Quinn asks.

"Not a prostitute… A paid date. It sounds better. Oh and you know a thing or two about strippers, right?" Masuka winks giggling, which makes Angel interfere.

"Concentrate on case, guys. We're all tired and this little display is making people around us both nervous and curious. It's middle of the night but it's crowded like we're in a goddamn club or something. Has entire Miami heard about this crime scene, so they all decided to show up here? Is that man over there taking photos of us? Miller, could you tell those officers over there to set a larger perimeter, please? No need to make this an even bigger circus. Dex, what does blood tell you?"

"Not much. Of course, they were killed somewhere else. I would say this boy died first. He is most probably dead for two days already, his body started to decompose. He was killed with one simple strike to stomach. This cut on his neck was made post-mortem. It's actually fresh cut. Man and woman, holding hands, I would say died at the approximately same time. I would say, last night. See this rope marks here? It suggested they were tied together. And this woman died few hours ago. Regarding this blood… See the spatters? This blood was collected somewhere else, and I would say he spilled it here to create more dramatic scene. This place is not so far away from people, and he took great risk by doing this. He had to use a van to bring them all here, they're traffic surveillance cameras not so far away, so we could try to get something. One thing is interesting. He showed particular rage toward this woman." I point to the oldest victim, and dare a glance at Vogel. She knows what I'm thinking, and she averts her eyes from me, searching for some kind of clue.

The Brain Surgeon is closing on her, and I have to move fast if I'm going to help her. And I want to, since she is a precious window to my past. Maybe if I finally unravel all the secrets of my past it will help me regain some much needed control over my life. Maybe I'll manage to do back on track. Vogel needs to be alive for that to happen.

Soon enough we pack our things and the coroner takes bodies away. I walk away, sticking close to Vogel. She hasn't said a word since she saw four dead people and that's a strange comforting thought. She can be scared, apparently. She is not a crazy, unemotional scientist after all.

Quinn stumbles in front of me from practically nowhere, and he calls me to come closer.

"Hey Dexter…I wanted to tell you something. I just talked to Jaime, and she told me your son found some dead animal."

That thought gives me shivers. I don't want Harrison around anything dead, he's had so much trauma already.

"And do you know what he said? He said "Daddy loves blood." It freaked Jaime out. So… I think you should start to pay more attention to what your son sees around you…Just saying. Oh, and that was a really shitty move to send Jaime away now when we had some plans."

"Wait, what? Harrison did what…? Why Jaime didn't say anything to me? And what do I have with your plans?"

"She didn't want to disturb you over the phone, she wanted to tell you that in person. But I'm here to correct that, if someone should be out of his mind it's you, not Jaime. I think this is enough. I don't want Jaime being in this state. You're keeping my girlfriend busy, too busy for my liking. You already cost me one relationship, I won't let you fuck up another one." Quinn hisses, walking away and I suddenly remember that day when Deb told me about his proposal. Poor stupid Quinn, it was never suppose to be him. What would he say if he found out that Deb left him because she was in love with me…?

"What was that about?", Vogel asks, sneaking behind my back.

"What was what about?"

" You cost him some relationship. Was it his relationship with Debra?"

"Yes. He got that right. I never liked him, and I never wanted him around her. Well, to be precise, I could tolerate him as her boyfriend. But not as her husband, no." I respond without even thinking about it. My thoughts are somewhere else. My son said what he said. He touched dead animal. He was drawn to blood. That's not good sign. Did I corrupt him, too? Will stains of Rita's death follows us longer than anticipated?

"Interesting."

"Interesting…?" I snap out of my thoughts.

"You seem to hate men around Debra." Vogel smiles. "That sounds overprotective. Your brain is really mysterious thing."

"Are you now trying to say I'm not a psychopath?" I laugh dryly.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that you seem to be pretty… attached to Deb. Overly attached."

"And that doesn't go along with your diagnosis?" I ask her, teasing. We get to her car, and she turns around watching me directly in eyes, and I prepare to turn to my parking space when she stops me.

"People like you operate deep from their inner self. Basic instincts… That's what drives them. They're overly destructive and a destructive force is often linked with sex. My question to you… Have you ever considered…? No… Have you ever thought about Debra… sexually?"

I blink slowly, not being able to understand where did this question came from. Did I ever have sexual thoughts regarding Deb? No, of course not. What is she thinking? Is Vogel out of her mind?

"I'm not even going to bother to answer that question. It's offensive."

"Offensive? Dexter, you're jealous of her boyfriends. You're possessive and demanding when it comes to your sister. You're obsessed with her, that's what I noticed from every single conversation we had. I wouldn't be surprised if you imagined having sex with her when you were younger. That's not offensive."

"I'm her brother." I growl under my breath." I'm her brother and I love her. That's why I'm maybe overprotective sometimes."

"Maybe overprotective? Dexter, psychopaths don't feel love. They just think they do. And if you can't really feel love, than how could you distinguish non-sexual, brotherly love from sexual one?"

My mouth drop, and I'm silent for few moments.

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm trying to say that you have to face the reality of your situation. I've noticed you're nervous these days, and Debra is your sore spot. I want you to finally clarify what it is that you think you feel toward her, and resolve your inner issues. This man is dangerous, this Brain Surgeon. I need your help. I can't allow you to be disturbed by all of this, it's too hazardous. For me and for you, since this man knows who you are."

"He doesn't know about me."

"Yes, he does. He sent me a new gift. And this time, it's addressed to me… and my hero. He knows about you, Dexter. Time is running out. We can't afford mistakes, it could cost us our lives."

"I will find him."

"There you go again. That sense of absolute confidence, that's exactly what suits you. I told you. You're perfect the way you are… If you could only sort some minor things out…"

"There is nothing to sort out. And don't talk about Deb. Why is everyone talking about Deb?"

"Everyone..?" Vogel asks, confused.

Brian chuckles from behind.

* * *

Hannah eats slowly, lost in her thoughts. The TV is tuned down, some comedy playing, and she can hear kids laughing at some silly dog. She smiles gently when her phone rings. It's Dexter.

" I wasn't sure if you'd call.", she says.

"I wasn't sure, too." His voice sounds unsure. Will they ever be able to trust each other again?

"But you did. And I'm glad."

"Where are you? "

"I can't tell you that. Not yet. "

"Why is that?" he asks question, but he sounds more hurt than curious, he knows her answer too well.

"Because you choose Debra. And that was real slap in the face."

"Hannah, I spent my lifetime up with her." Dexter's voice grows impatient.

"Oh don't tell me that "she's my sister" story once again…Anyway… I don't want to talk about that. Tell me, were you surprised when you saw I wrapped you in plastic?" she tries to lighten the mood.

Talking about Debra is not helping her feel sure of Dexter's loyalty, and she wants to trust him. She is willing to give him another chance. And if he lives up to her expectations, she will be able to take him with her. Everything is ready for her departure, she can leave for Argentina very soon. It took six months, but she finally managed to get enough money ( who would say she was talented in scams, too?) and she also has new passport. And she got one for her husband, and his son. It wasn't easy, but she made it. Because Hannah McKay is survivor.

"Well, the joke's on me. " Dexter laughs, and she feels herself smile. She missed him. But God help him if he breaks her heart again. She'll fucking kill him.

"Yeah, I waited a long time to get back at you. How is Harrison?"

" Good, he's…good. Never been better."

"What's wrong? You sound concerned."

"Jaime said he played with dead animal. I suspect he killed it… My son is…"

"Your son, Dex." Hannah finishes his sentence.

"I don't want him to be that way."

"There is nothing wrong with you. How many times do I have to tell you that?" she whispers. "There is no Dark Passenger. There is just you. And you shouldn't be any other way. You just need to be you."

"But Harrison… He is supposed to be innocent." Hannah can hear Dexter's voice trembling. Why is he so concerned? There is nothing bad with wanting to kill. She killed two man in past six month, and she did it because that afforded her lot of money. Of course, it wasn't particularly pleasant, but it had to be done.

" Dexter… I don't know what to say. Don't blame yourself."

"But I am guilty." He says. "I destroy everyone I care about. I've corrupted my son, I've sent you to jail, I made Deb do things she would've never done…" and then he falls silent.

"What did Debra do?" Hannah asks, edge in her voice. A strange silence settles for few seconds, dangerous air flickers in both Dexter's apartment and Hannah's motel room.

"I have to go."

"Dexter.. Dexter wait!" she calls out, but he already hung up.

Something settles in her mind. Hannah knows what needs to be done.

* * *

Debra feels strange. She couldn't sleep for months, but since she almost killed herself few days ago she does nothing but sleep. Sometimes she has nightmares. Sometimes she has a feeling someone is in her house, watching her. Sometimes she dreams that she is fifteen and that she has nice little sister instead of a distant, adopted brother, and that her mother isn't sick and that she has dog named "Banjo", and everything is right in world.

Every time she wakes up, it's difficult to breath for few moments. But it gets easier. She guesses that pointing a gun to her temple and hitting rock bottom was exactly what she needed. After all that shit she went trough in her life, she tried to kill herself? Bullshit. Bull fucking shit. She is fighter and that's exactly what she going to do. She's going to fight. Debra needs to stay alive for Harrison's welfare, because God knows that little boy doesn't have anyone else in his life. She hates his father but adores the kid, and there's gotta be some fucking balance in this world, right?

Dying five nights ago would've been an easy way out, and she doesn't deserve that. She needs to pay for her deeds another way. So she will keep Dexter as far away as she can, but she will stay alive because that's the only way to protect Harrison when the time comes. Hm… "When the time comes.." she thinks to herself. " Fucking time came long fucking time ago. Who am I fucking kidding?"

Deb hears her phone ringing and she doesn't bother to answer, it can't be too important. Right now she is trying to fight the urge to smoke pot and drink a fucking metric ton of beer, and she laughs at herself for even beginning this ridiculous battle.

Stupid phone won't stop ringing; what the fuck's wrong with these people who don't get that she doesn't want to answer?

She finally gives up when the phone suddenly stops ringing and she turns around and sees Dexter just outside her glass doors staring right at her, his phone in his hands. She gasps, because it was unexpected to see him there, and because her heart suddenly skips beats or two, but she ignores it. "Fuck!" she yells out in frustration.

"Jesus Christ, Dexter! Do you want me to get fucking heart attack?", she impatiently opens the door, and lets him in. " You scared the shit out of me."

"You were expecting someone else?" he asks.

"No, but even if I did, you wouldn't be the one I expect. Or wanted to see, anyway. What do you want?"

He turns around and inspects the mess around him. It's looks like bomb was dropped here and it frustrates him; he always hated how messy she is. But this is going beyond any mess she ever made. He frowns in disgust, and heads for her bedroom, hoping it's at least bearable enough for him to sit there and talk. He is on the verge tonight, Astor pleaded for Jaime to stay there for few days more so they could come together to Miami, and he's anxious to see his son. Hannah doesn't understand his worries about Harrison, and he really needs someone, something to cling to right now. His sister came as natural solution.

"Dexter.. Don't!" Deb tries to stop him, but he's already in her bedroom, and now this is where it gets really awkward. Deb's newest fuckbuddy jumps from her bed and covers himself. Dexter makes " What the fuck?" face as he notices pack of condoms on the floor making, and that makes entire situation even more uncomfortable.

"What's this?" Dexter asks, his face twisted in both frustration and repulsion, as the nameless and obviously scared man tries to find a way out.

"I'm sorry man, I didn't know she's married."

"What is it Dexter? You want to kill him…?" Deb pushes between doorframe and her brother and quickly collects his clothes that were tossed all around room, and hands it to the man. "He is not my husband, nor boyfriend. You take this and leave."

He takes his clothes and practically runs out saying he's sorry multiple times. Dexter doesn't waste another glance at him, he simply turns away his attention to Debra who now sits on the bed and eyes him suspiciously.

"I found a guy in a bar, and got him here. What's so strange? Most of us, at least remotely normal people, connect with other people through sex. For example, you do it through killing, but I'm not bitching about it. I just don't fucking care. So extend me the same courtesy and stop watching me like I'm a fucking whore."

"This is not normal. First Briggs, now this… Don't you see how wrong all of this is?" Dexter exclaims throwing his hands in the air. He came here looking for help, but all he got was reminder of how fucked up Deb's life is. He needs to find quick way out, or they're both lost for good.

"I fail to understand why's that is any of your fucking business." She throws herself on bed, yawning. Her head sets comfortably in pillow, like she's about to doze off, and Dexter shifts from one leg to another. She can see that her childish behavior is starting to piss him of and she likes it. " How many fucking times do I need to remind you to leave me alone?"

"You're still in that phase?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely. You better believe it. And it's not a phase, I'm amazed you didn't get it already. The only thing I want is you out of my life, once and for all. Now, if you could get the fuck out, fucking please and thank you."

"Astor called." He suddenly says, titling his head, just like he always does when frustrations starts to get the best of him. "She wanted to come here. She wants to see you for some reason. Is it possible for you to keep your hate locked away for few days, so you could help a motherless girl?"

"You manipulative little shit!", Deb turns her lips into incredulous smile, "I can't believe you're such an asshole that you would use a kid, that's, by the way, motherless because of you, just so you could be close to me."

"I said you're busy and you probably won't indulge her, but she was persistent. Deb, she lost Harrison few days ago, she's a mess and she needs someone to talk to. She won't open up to me, or to Jaime, and she's known you for years. I know you hate me right now, but don't do this for me, do this for Astor."

"Oh, how nonchalantly ignored goes my comment about you being the reason why she needs a replacement for a mother." Deb bites, turning her head toward Dexter, and then rolling over so she can look at him, her head resting on her left elbow.

"You're trying to pick a fight. I'm not buying it." Dexter visibly fights for control, and that makes her feel powerful.

She can shake him, finally the tables are turned. How many fucking times did she tried to reach for him, and he was just unavailable, out of her reach? She would talk for hours about something that bothered her and she would catch his blank stare and she would know she is fucking alone in that room, that he is so distant, lost in his thoughts… But she would pretend that he is there with her, listening, and she would keep talking. And it went on for years. Of course, there were also moments, actually, plenty of them, where he would feel so alive, so warm, so …"present" and those were times that she found worth living for. But now, knowing what she knows, she realizes it was never about her. It was about him lost in his need, and those times when he looked happy and satisfied, it wasn't because she was there, it was because he fed his fucking Dark…whatever.

And she doesn't know if she hates him more for those moments he kept her away and ignored her, or because of those times he gave her confidence and support. Watching him now, looking so vulnerable and lost, it makes her want to cry and laugh at the same time.

Because Debra still finds those protective, innocent parts of herself deep inside. She still fights the urge to wrap her hands around him and whisper that everything is going to be okay and chase away his demons. Whether those demons are the image of Rita in a bathtub, Harrison covered in blood, or the Fucking Bunch of Idiots interrogating him. It was impossible to avoid her killing for him one day…

"You really are lost." She observes, trying to stop the uncomfortable flow of her thoughts.

"I am fucking lost!" he snaps finally. "Is that what you wanted to hear? That I've gone astray, that I fucking need you in my life? What is it Deb, do you want me to beg you?!" he raises his tone and comes closer to bed, and Deb sits up, her hair falling over her face, and she notices how dark his eyes have become. Don't slip up, don't let him drag you into this game, Debra. You were there for your entire life. Don't let him get you into his fucking vortex again.

"I've had you there since I could remember, I could cling to you and now you're pushing me away! I'm this fucking close to losing my fucking mind!" he emphasizes with thumb and his index finger what he means. " Or at least what's left of it! You need to return, Deb! You need to let me in."

Deb knows better than to push him further right now but she can't help it. She can't control herself because it's impossible right now, this is their most honest moment, and she feels it's right here, everything is laid out. This is what she waited for, and even if she should be scared of outcome, it doesn't feel wrong. If Harry could see them now…

"That's what you need… And what I need is you out of my life. I didn't want to hate you… I fucking loved you" her voice hitches in her throat as tears start to pool in her eyes " I loved you more then myself. Hell, I was in love with you… But I can't fucking do this anymore." It gets difficult to talk, since she fights her inner storm from bursting out. If she starts to cry, she has feeling it will never end. And she can't let herself show him how badly broken she is without him. He is a lie, he is fucking lie, an imagination, holy creature she kept worshiping until it destroyed her. She used to believe him, but now she doesn't even trust herself.

"So you'll leave me just like this?" he asks, his face vengeful. "You'll let me fall down, you'll let me slip? It's just a question of time I'll do something unfathomable. I won't be able to stop myself, Debra. Can you live with it?"

"Do what you gotta do." She says, surrendering .

"All right, Deb. I will leave." Dexter hisses, his eyes narrowing at her. "You can get back to fucking around, drugging and drinking. Oh and… Hannah's back. I would keep my eyes open, just in case. "

"Hannah's back?" she jumps off the bed and follows him, grabbing him by his shoulder and stopping him from leaving. "The bitch's back? You're fucking kidding me!"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"Dexter, you have to stop her. I want her fucking gone!" she panics.

"No."

His cold response startles her, and she takes her time to compose herself. Dexter starts to walk away and she finally dares to ask him question she knows she doesn't have right to ask. Not anymore, not after what she said in last hour.

"Why?" Deb's voice sounds so small and she is not sure if Dexter even heard her.

"Go to hell, Deb. Seriously? "Why?" " he turns to face her, his face emotionless as he gives response that chills every drop of blood inside her. "Because I already killed my brother to protect you. I'm not giving up on Hannah."

And with those words, he left, leaving Debra to hyperventilate in her house, alone with crushing secret Dexter kept for so long.


	6. Chapter 6

When Hannah gave him the name of the motel, she didn't exactly gave him the right room number. It was the room across the yard and she could have very good look if the police showed up there, and she would have enough leverage to escape. She wants to believe Dexter, but after what happened last time when she actually trusted him, Hannah knows it's not very prudent to act compulsively. She told him to call her before he showed up, and that's another little trick of hers: if he tries to sneak up on her, he'll get pretty disappointed if he doesn't find her in her room. But if he calls her and she sees he's alone, she may show him where she actually hides.

A fugitive from law can't stay too long in Miami. It was perilous to even think to come here, let alone hang in a city that is pretty hostile to her. And by hostile she means that she could get very well recognized by some of her old customers and get arrested while buying groceries for lunch. That's not something she wanted for her life, but she has to try one last time to get her soul mate. And she knows Dexter is her soul mate. What she felt around Wayne was nothing what she felt around Dexter, and she doesn't want to be stuck in year 1996 anymore. If she's leaving to Argentina, she will risk it to have him with her.

Hannah is thankful Dexter slipped up and told something he probably shouldn't. She is even more grateful she followed the lead. When the time comes, she will play smart and finally get her way. But that's of course if he doesn't betray her again. Although, to be honest, she's pretty convinced that situation has changed…. Right now, apart from her, Dexter doesn't have much left. Debra hates him so much that Hannah sincerely believes he doesn't have other option but to leave his sister alone and turn to her. Good thing for Debra if she finally decides to leave them alone. If not, there will be war. And Hannah won't be on the losing side this time.

But there is a problem with Harrison. While she counted that he'll come along, and that's the reason why she has all three fake passports, the kid could give her serious trouble since what happened with him disturbed Dexter deeply. What if he thinks that Hannah is not suitable mother for his son? What then? She can't get rid of his child…she's not a child killer… But without him Dexter won't come along. And with him he might decide to stay here.

The best thing really is if he doesn't have any choice.

* * *

Leaving Debra's house was the best thing I could think of. If I stayed there any longer I would suffocate and I would surely break something. There is only one person I can turn to for some comfort. Luckily, that person gave me the address of her motel room, and I'm more than eager to release some frustration on Hannah, after Deb almost pushed me of the edge.

While I was on my way to Hannah, something clicked in my head, and I turned my vehicle to Vogel's house, waking her up.

"Where are your photos for the last crime scene? Do you have them here?" I ask her breathlessly.

"Good evening to you too, Dexter... Yes, I have them here with me, in my first drawer."

I don't wait. I open the drawer and find the photos, particularly that one with that boy that had only one wound. It should've occurred to me earlier. The boy surprised the Brain Surgeon… so he killed him with one stab. But… The boy wasn't trying to defend himself…That could lead to only one conclusion.

"The kid knew him. He walked in on him, and our friend killed him because he had to. So BS slashed his throat later, hoping it would look like it was a planned homicide and staged that crime scene to confuse everyone. But he can't fool us, little brother, now can't he?" Brian muses. "Oh, I'll enjoy killing this fucker. He creeps me out."

" Masuka sent me a message that we may finally get a grip who this child was. His name is Aidan Richards. He has an older sister, Matilda, she'll come to the station tomorrow morning to identify him. Hopefully, we'll learn something more, and I'll do my best to follow this lead. I have feeling that Aidan knew your stalker; that would help us a lot. I think we may have him soon."

"You mean… You'll have him soon… on your table."

"Yes, that's what I meant. But it also solves your problems, doesn't it, now?" I ask her sharply.

"No need to get offended… Dex… I understand what you're doing… I advocated that, remember?" she caresses my shoulder lightly. "That's exactly what you're good at."

"You keep saying that over and over again…What I'm good at… Apparently, that's only thing I'm good at.. I fucked up as father, I failed as brother…"

"Dexter, feelings are not what you're an expert at… Don't be so concerned, most of us, non-psychopathic people don't understand emotions either…. It's nothing strange, believe me. "The older woman chuckles to herself. "Love is where it gets complicated. And messy. If you can avoid it, it's good for you. Trust me, I know."

"How doesn't she get that I want her back?" I snarl at once, and Vogel looks up surprised.

"Who are we talking about now?"

"Debra, who else? She doesn't get it! She doesn't get that she keeps me human, and that she needs to be in my life. I need her."

"There is a big difference between "need" and "want"… You need her presence in your life, but what do you want from her? You're not that naïve to believe that Deb will ever look up to you like she did before… She knows the real you. She knows the killing is what's most important to you. "

"Even the killings don't bring any relief anymore… Nothing's the same. Since she's gone… Nothing can please me. I'm even dreading the moment when I'll see my own son. Everything went to shit. How did I ever manage to lose control like this?" I lean my hands on table and hang my head tiredly. Vogel comes very close and places her hand on mine.

"Dexter…" she says. "You will sort this out with Debra. You have to… Do you want me to talk to her? Maybe I can help."

"You can't help us. No one can. Deb is pissed off like never before. Never did she act this way, refusing to talk to me, to see me. She can't stand me being in same room with her!" I inhale deeply, and pain surges trough my chest, and suddenly I feel weak an vulnerable. " Never before I felt the urge to shake my sister, to make her understand what I'm trying to do… Why can't she fucking understand? Why she has to be so fucking stubborn? " My rant is followed by sound of my hands hitting the wood, and table cracks under my weight. It would feel so damn good if I could have someone underneath my palms, so I could choke him… Too bad I didn't find new project, it would be good to keep me busy.

"Did she ever tell you what you can do …?"

"She told me to stop… If I love her…." I shake my head. " But I can't stop… I can't stop and let her distance herself even further… A better person would let her go, I know. But I'm not… exactly good person. Sometimes I even wonder if I'm person at all."

"You got it wrong, Dexter. She wants you to stop killing" Vogel says carefully." If you love her… you would stop. If you love her the most…the way she loves you…."

"You think she still loves me? I'm not sure anymore…" Strange kind of pain surges trough my chest, and I flinch when Vogel laughs shortly.

"Debra killed a person for you. She gave up everything for you, don't you see that? She maybe really thinks she hates you… But she didn't report you for killing Briggs, now did she? Have you ever thought about that? There is the tricky part, Dexter… How far would you go to remind her who you are, who you've always been in her life? Can you grant same kind of selfless love she's given to you? I don't think so. You care about what she has given to you, and I don't think she will be able to give that anymore. The image of her perfect older brother is destroyed forever, you're not that much in denial not to notice that. At least I hope so. " The elder woman sighs, hesitating to continue. She slowly tastes the words on her tongue, like they will burn her. "You need to prepare yourself, she will do her best to escape you. She does love you, but it's because she loves you she's ruined. And it has nothing to do with your actions; your relationship is destroyed because you can't return the favor. You will always be a killer before anything else. It's simply in your nature. "

"But… "

"Debra will do everything to forget she loves you. Make no mistake. You're powerless here, you can't be her brother anymore. The sooner you understand and accept that, the better. For her, and you." The doctor sits at her chair and gets something from her locked drawer. It's a disc, and she hands it to me. " If you care about her enough, you'll understand what's best for her. You can't make a sacrifice by stopping killing; it's not in your nature. So you need to understand how much she suffered even when you were younger. Here is one of my sessions with Harry. It involves Deb, those are some things you need to be reminded of. Now go, we both need to rest. Tomorrow is a big day, we might get a lead on the Brain Surgeon."

She sounds satisfied and excited, and I wonder how she does it, knowing there is someone watching her.

* * *

"We've been hunting today. Wild hogs. Dexter killed two, but it's not enough… I can see it, he is too close…I don't know if I'll be able to control him soon…What if he does something and …?" Harry looks so weak and fragile, so different from what I remember of my father.

"Harry, you've taught him well. It's going to work out for him." I can hear Vogel's voice behind camera. How the hell could he let her film this? How could've he trusted her so much? She could've brought me down, report me and end my life in split second if she decided. He must've been really desperate. So desperate, that he killed himself…

"And Debra… Oh my dear God, my daughter… I see her growing resentful day by day… She thinks I love him more. Since she lost her mother, she has changed so much. Do you know what's really insane part? Dexter clings to her much more than she is to him lately. I'm not sure if he's doing that because he sees her as target, or… I don't know anymore, I'm out of my mind. I caught Debra with some boy the other day. Dexter and I stood there and she screamed at us to leave her alone. I sent her to her room, but when dinner came I called her. Do you know what she said?" Harry raises his eyes and shakes his head like he still can't grasp he heard Deb well. She said "Eat your dinner with your fucking son, you don't have daughter anyway!" Can you believe it? So I went to her room, pissed off, and gave her such a slap that she almost fell. I hit my daughter! I hit my own flesh and blood, my own child. She ran off, and I called out for her, but she didn't come home for hours. Dexter went looking for her… And I was almost afraid he'll come back red-handed… What am I to do with my children?"

Vogel is silent for second, contemplating what Harry just said. She leans forward and camera catches her as she covers Harry's hand with her own. " Separating them at this point is useless. " she says in soothing voice, doing her best to sound helpful" Your daughter is valuable filter to the real world; you could actually use her. Women are particularly hard to fool, you can teach him how to handle them through Debra."

I stop the video. I can't watch this anymore. Jesus, what have we done to Deb? All three of us? I take a look at our photo, how innocent and full of hope she looks. It was taken right after she graduated and came into Vice, and Deb believed that making it into MMPD was actually like reaching the top of the world. Being a cop is all she ever wanted. And now she's given up on that, too.

But Vogel got it all wrong. Both she and Harry didn't know that I followed Deb that night, and that she punched me several times, before I finally decided that I had enough and grabbed her, holding her close. She was strong, and I wondered if I just applied right pressure on her neck, would she stop struggling… But instead of that I hugged her tightly and she cried for an hour and told me how much she hates me at least thousand times. I kept holding her by her shoulders all the way we walked back home, and released her only when we saw our house right in front of us. It was first time I ever felt connected with someone other than Harry.

That night she came into my room and stood above my bed and said something I forgot, but it came back to me when I saw this tape. I woke up feeling someone beside me, and when I realized it was her I was so confused. Usually she would sneak into my room and sleep on the floor, and I was unnerved at first, but pretty much okay with that after awhile, although I never told her I knew she was there. But now she was just staring at me, and it made me feel… strange.

"I want you to know something… No matter how many fucking times I tell you I hate you… I want you to always remember that I love you more than anyone. Can you do that for me?" She asked quietly.

I nodded, not knowing what to say. She bent down and kissed my forehead, her soft hair falling on my face. Her gesture made me feel uncomfortable, and Deb picked up that, but stayed there for few seconds more nevertheless.

She never slept in my room again.

Dawn breaks through my shades and for a second I have feeling that Harrison is there, that he will run in any minute. But my apartment stays silent, and it is strangely unsettling. I begin my daily routine, and when I accidentally splash an entire cup of hot coffee down my shirt I remember that I haven't slept the entire night, just like when Harrison was born. Only five days left before he comes home. I didn't want to talk with Jaime about the incident over the phone, I need both of them in front of me so we can discuss it… But the thought of my son following in my footsteps is more than frightening. It simply can't happen.

* * *

Once I arrive at work, Masuka is intolerable with his stories about his new girlfriend, and Quinn is annoying me as usual with some blood report that's late. Even my job is suffering because of my temporarily distracted state of mind. At least I hope it's temporary.

"Someone looks like he hasn't got a good night sleep." Angel walks in my lab. "I need your analysis on the Eaton case, have you got it?"

"I'm sorry, Angel…Quinn asked for it, too. I'm bit behind my schedule, but I'll finish it. Here, I'm taking it right now. Something else?"

"No, I need it A.S.A.P. Ms Matilda Richards is coming here; she should identify her brother. And Quinn and Miller are going to ask her a few questions, but I guess it's a dead end…We are already wasting our time. And yes, that BS crime scene is also priority so… You've got a lot of work today, bro… I'm sorry that I need to leave to go to the restaurant, this was suppose to be my day off, but there is so much work here. I'll come backtonight. If you need me, call me on my phone. Nina's coming today, so if I don't answer, you'll know we're in some kind of fight again." Batista sighs and starts to the close door.

"Hey, I wanted to watch the questioning of Ms. Richards, so could I-" but he interrupts me.

"Dex, we're pretty late with everything, you really need to finish those reports, that cannot wait anymore! Sorry man."

Luckily, Evelyn shows up right in time to watch interrogation , and goes behind Quinn and Matilda, and I put my mind at ease for at least an hour. My phone rings, and when I see who's calling, both the Brains Surgeon and Eaton case are quickly forgotten. I take my time before answering.

"Why?" That's first thing I hear.

"Why what, Deb?" I ask her, but I already know what she's talking about.

"You choose me. Why?"

"Because you're my sister." I answer automatically.

"Bullshit. He was your real brother. He knew who you are. And I guess you knew who he was, too." The rest of the sentence stays unspoken. But I know if she continued it would be "That's one of your fucking lies, once again.", or something like that. I sigh and try to answer as truthfully as I can.

"No, not at first. But when he took you away he told me everything. I had a choice. I choose the person I spent my entire life calling a "sister". It's that simple." I hope it will be enough. But it's not. With Debra, it's never simple.

"You wouldn't do it again… " I hear her trail off, and then her voice trembles, and her tongue stiffens and I'm trying to decide if she is stoned or drunk. "Right? Knowing what you know right now… Knowing I fucking hate you… You would choose him this time, wouldn't you?"

"What do you want from me, Deb? I'm kind of busy here." Impatience slips into my voice, this conversation is not something to have over the phone. And I'm beginning to ask myself how could I slip that up, since I promised myself long time ago that Debra won't know I killed Brian for her. But I guess I'm reckless lately, so it's nothing strange.

Or maybe I did that on purpose, to let her know that it's not her who does the sacrificing part in our relationship all the time.

"I want fucking truth. Tell me, Dex. If I confessed what I did… If I got on death row, would that be enough pay you off for giving up on your brother? "

Shivers go trough my body at this thought. Where the fuck is she? I get up and inspect hallway, half expecting I'll see her somewhere around. Emotion I register as fear, is creeping up and Masuka squints at me from across other side of glass, mouthing " Is everything okay?". I must look like hell. I sure as shit feel like I'm in one.

"Deb, where are you?"

"At 'Papa's…", she answers, like she has something else to say. "I'm collecting my strength to talk to Angel… To tell him what I did."

"Deb, no!" I raise my voice. "Wait, stay. Stay where you are. I'm coming there."

"But I don't want you here.", she drunkenly mutters. "You killed your fucking brother for me, and I still don't want you here. How does that make you feel?"

It's time for me to try different approach.

"It eats at you, doesn't it? The choice I had to make. The sacrifice I made. For you.", Please let 'yes' be the answer. If it is, maybe I have something to work with.

"You know it does." She whispers. "You know me better than to ask that..."

"Then you will turn around, and go home. Go home, get some sleep, and forget about any kind of confession. That's how you'll repay me for what I did. You need to stay here, you need to stay out of jail for Harrison's sake. My son needs you. Can you do that for him?" Manipulating her this way years ago wouldn't make me feel anything. But right now I feel nervous and freaked out.

So much about being emotionless monster. Way to go, Dexter.

"Will you promise you'll stay away from me?" She asks after few seconds.

"Sure. Whatever you need." I lie through my teeth.

"Okay. We have a deal." She says after few moments of contemplating.

"Yes. We have a deal." I repeat after her. Only, we don't, not really. Dear Debra, you have no fucking idea what you did right now. Not only I'm going to break this bogus promise, I'll keep an eye on you all the time. This fucking stops now.

* * *

Angel is burned out from working two jobs. Being a LT is difficult enough, but being a LT and handling a restaurant business, is the whole new level of difficulty.

Nina is approaching him, and for the briefest moments he asks himself what new ways is she going to use to torture him. Since Maria's death, his ex wife behaved pretty strangely. Maybe it has something to do with him saying that Maria was the love of his life. Maybe he should've kept his mouth shut in front of his supportive ex-wife. Especially since he was married to her for ten years, and Maria Laguerta was his spouse for less than six months.

Nina gives him some present Auri sent him, and they chit chat for few moments. Finally, she decides to sit down and have a round on house, so she relaxes a bit.

Angel disappears to make her his new cocktail, and Nina settles in the chair closest to the sea. Even after so many years, she has to admit that Angel is someone special. If there wasn't his indiscretion they could've worked it out. Maybe she made a mistake, made she should've forgiven him. Maybe now he wouldn't be so obviously grieving for Maria, and maybe Nina wouldn't be alone, watching Auri grow into a female version of her father.

From the corner of her eye, Nina notices a somewhat familiar figure. She turns her head to see Debra Morgan w looking in Angel's direction. She is holding some envelope in her hands, and she looks like - for lack of a better word - shit.

"Hey, Morgan!", she calls out. "Come over here!"

But Morgan doesn't make a move. She just stands there, her look distant, like she's sleeping. Then she slowly turns away and leaves the beach.

"What a strange woman", Nina thinks to herself.

Angel reappears, bringing her drink, and she tells him about Morgan. He takes his phone out and dials Deb, but her phone keeps ringing, and then her voice mail turns on, as usual.

Angel shrugs it off, and returns his phone in his pocket. Both he and Nina forget about this in the next few minutes. They're too busy planning their daughter's sweet sixteen party.

* * *

Vogel and I go out for lunch and she gives me insight into Matilda's questioning. She says the girl came in alone, and she identified her brother. She has no idea who would hurt her brother and why would he be someone's target; he was such a quiet boy.

"Dexter, I think this is a dead end. We're back to square one, I'm afraid."

"You said she came alone. They don't have anyone except each other? No family at all?" Most people are not strong enough to face something like this alone.

"No, their parents died five years ago, and she practically raised her brother, since she is ten years older than him. She says they planned to buy house together, her boyfriend and her are planning to live together. She basically has not a lot of friends, but she has no enemies either."

"Her boyfriend? I haven't seen him today."

"That's because he couldn't come, he had some.. stuff, I don't know. Poor girl, facing this alone." Why do I have feeling Vogel doesn't really feel empathy?

"I'll look more into her. This murder is key to this case. My lizard brain tells me that, and its rarely wrong."

"Oh, your lizard brain…Now that's an interesting concept. What wonderfully delightful phrasing. Who thought you that, Harry?" She curiously asks.

"No one 'taught' me that." My eyes start to ache, and a migraine threatens to show up. You haven't slept, Dexter… " I do have a brain of my own, you know. I can think."

"I was just wondering… Tell me, Dexter, what's your next plan? "

"My plan is to search whatever I can find regarding Matilda and her brother. It's the first thing I'm going to do after I get some rest." Funny thing, I'm not getting any younger and my whole body seems to remind me that. Someone pats my shoulder and I'm surprised to see Elway standing here. He greets Evelyn and she watches us carefully as I offer him to take a seat with us.

"So.. What do I owe this pleasure to?" I eye him suspiciously for few seconds, and he looks guilty as hell. Almost ashamed he averts him eyes from me to Vogel, and when he notices, she watches us like a hawk. He slowly gulps and stutters something about wanting to talk to me in private.

"You can talk in front of Evelyn." For the first time, I call her by her given name, and I'm regarded with smile. "She is a friend of mine. What did you want to talk about?"

"I actually followed you here; I saw you in front of the station. I didn't call you since things are bit awkward the way we left them…" He plays nervously with his hands and I get feeling things are going to get interesting from here on. How did he ever manage to kiss Debra? She must've been drunk as hell. There is no way he could get to her, she is way out of his league.

"I talked to Quinn…And I know this is funny, but I.." He glances at Vogel, who still has smile on her thin lips as she supports her chin with both of her hands, her elbows on table. She really has fun observing us, I guess. Why is she so interested in him? Is Elway a psychopath, too? "Can we talk some other time?"

"I'm kind of overloaded these days, Jacob. Tell me now." I coldly interrupt him.

"I will ask your sister out on a date. Thought you might wanna know it first. You were right the last time, I used the chance, and it wasn't really nice on my part, but I do care about her. And I want this to be a clean game. I consider both you and her as my friends, and I.. She told me you haven't been exactly big fan of her previous partner… I really don't want to be Quinn # 2, so… That's the reason why I followed you."

Long after he leaves I wonder what that was about. Vogel notices a change in my demeanor, and sighs, enjoying what's left of her food. "Don't look so agitated, he seems like a nice guy. Exactly what your sister needs right now. Love can do miracles for people, you know."

"And how would you know that?" I narrow my eyes ready to pick a fight. This is none of her business. "What are you now, Dr. Love?"

"I was married years ago."

"Past tense, obviously. What happened? Love didn't do miracles for you? Or it wasn't love at all?" I mimic her tone.

"Oh, it was love, alright… And it did miracles. At first, of course. I thought Richard was a perfect man, always kind, always there for me. We would have long conversations, and dinners and we would enjoy watching movies, once simply being with another, that's what fulfilled us. Normal things, usual things felt special. You know, like your steaks and beer nights with Deb…" She titles her head toward me, trying her best to explain me what she means. It's unbelievable she still thinks I have no emotions. I'm quite sure some kind of emotion passed through me when Elway told me he's gonna ask Deb out.

"But what ended it?" Curiosity gets the best of me. Why do feelings end? It's still an enigma to me how they even begin, but how can they end? I know I love Deb, and whatever she says, or does I keep loving her. I may be angry at her, I might want to scream at her from time to time but that doesn't change the fact that I would kill for her any second.

"I noticed he was distant. At first, those were small things, he would stay out late, he would work on some project… we were both hard working people and I didn't mind if he worked long hours. But then, slowly, I realized that I wasn't the most important thing in his life. And little before our tenth anniversary, he got a very tempting offer to go to Paris. Since I moved to London to be closer to him in first place, I expected he would decline, we had excellent jobs in England, after all and we had each other. But on the night of our anniversary I saw it, I saw he wanted to leave, I saw his blood burned with desire to move on. So I let him go. We stayed in our marriage for the next five years, visiting each other whenever we could in the first year. "

She twitches her fingers, her blue eyes changing their color to some shade of grey." Then, in the second year of our long distance relationship we saw each other once every few months. In the third, I only got a card for my birthday, he had some important meeting to attend to… And then the phone calls stopped. Complete silence for weeks, which turned into months, and I felt only relief."

Vogel's stare was lost somewhere in the distance, looking for the thin, almost invisible line that separates the sky from the sea. "Horrible, I know. But that's the truth. I felt nothing but the burden lifted off my chest, and finally I decided to file for divorce. I went there to see him for one last time, and… found his new fiancé in his house. He was engaged. For months." Vogel finally closed her eyes and sighed as her left palm went unconsciously toward her chest, like she's going to rip out pain that suddenly seem to occupy her chest. " And I cried. I lost all of my composure and pride, and I cried in front of him. I asked "why" although I thought I knew the answer, and then he said something I didn't expect. Richard said " Evelyn, I waited for you. I hoped you would give up your pride, and show up. But you didn't. You pulled away and you didn't react to anything I did. I tried to hurt you, to provoke you by not showing up for your birthday, but you didn't care. And there is nothing worse than when you see that the person you love just doesn't care. You moved on long before I found another woman." He blamed me for that."

Her voice changes, and gets bit higher so she sounds almost like teenager. One large gulp of drink, and she clears her throat, like she's embarrassed of her behavior. " He said that love is sacrifice and if I loved him I would give up my life in England and move with him to France. And in that moment, I would do that. I would give everything up, just to have back our dinners out, and our movie nights, and our conversations. " She sadly smiles, and for the first time I notice how her age plays out in wrinkles on her face. She looks like she aged during our conversation. " I would give up everything, but he found someone else. Theodora, that's her name. "God's gift" in Greek. And God gave me a gift of not finding anyone else. Ever. " Suddenly, shadow lifts of her face and she lightens up and smiles. " At least I still have my job. And my psychopaths." Chuckling, she ads. " And you, of course."

" So I'm not a psychopath?" I repeat my earlier question, still amazed by how emotional she was during her monologue. It was rather refreshing to see her vulnerable this way, in all of our previous conversations I had the feeling that I'm the one that's exposed, and her being a puzzle. But I guess that was the prize for me calling her by first name and referring to her as a "friend" in front of Elway. I noticed she enjoyed it.

" You're special kind of person. I won't say I was wrong, but you're not easily definable. And if you really loved Debra the way you think you do, then, yes, I would say you're not a psychopath." She finishes her drink and smiles at me again, enigmatic Dr Vogel back, and emotional Evelyn gone once again.

"How come you were ready to forgive him so easily after so many things that happened between two of you?" Hesitantly, I ask one question that bugged me. How do I make Deb forgive me?

" I remembered I was in love with him. " She silently adds as an afterthought. "And woman in love is capable of forgiving a lot of things, Dexter."

* * *

After dropping off Vogel at her house I pick up Angel, who seems determined to make his day off a very busy day. We head to Matilda's current residence, as he also suspects that there is something more to her brother's murder. We step inside, and her place painfully reminds me of Rita's old house. I can almost hear Astor and Cody playing somewhere outside.

A small woman wearing black greets us. She looks tired and medicated and Angel makes it quick, asking some questions she obviously answered to both Quinn and Miller a few hours ago. I wander around her house, and make my way outside, toward the garage, where Aidan used to fix bicycles. I notice a tall man crouching beside the door, various tools around him. He wipes them carefully, lost in his thoughts.

"Hey there!", I call out. "My name is Dexter Morgan, I'm in Forensics in Miami Metro You're Ms. Matilda's boyfriend, I suppose?"

The man turns around and for a moment something happens and I'm not sure I quite got it right, but it's quickly gone when he comes closer and warmly extends his hand. He looks almost happy to see me. It must be my imagination.

"Erick Watson, at your service. You're here to find something? It's about Aidan, right?" he asks, offering me a juice that stands on nearby table and when I decline, he drinks it by himself. " It's bloody hot outside…"

"Well, I'm used to it. It's Miami after all." I slip in one of my casual masks easily. "You're not American?"

"Is it so easy to notice?" he smiles tiredly, drop of sweat forming on his forehead." I've been here for seven months, and to tell the truth, I can't wait to get rid of this warm weather. This is not for me. I love my Europe, thank you very much."

"That's…an Italian accent I hear in you voice?"

"I was raised in Austria. Lived everywhere for a short while, even in Italy. So I guess I picked up a lot of accents." He jokes. " So I'm not sure to which one you refer."

We share one more look, and he turns around to pick one of his tools of the ground.

"I haven't noticed you today with Matilda… You haven't been down to the police station?"

"No, I had some stuff to do… And to be honest, it would be really difficult to see Aidan there. He was such a sweet kid, I can't imagine why would someone would intend to hurt him."

"That's what we are trying to figure out." I turn around and inspect our surroundings.

"He would always follow me around…He was like my little brother. I can't imagine how's poor Matilda feeling." Erick shakes his head. "It must be difficult as hell."

"Yes, there is nothing worse than to lose the one you love." I add after few moments of silence.

Angel shows up and we turn around to leave.

"It was nice to meet you, Mr Watson." I shake his hand and he squeezes my palm and slowly smiles.

"Oh, the pleasure is all mine, Dexter. "

* * *

There is no point in denying I don't have real plan of how to handle Deb. So I dread of the moment when I'll see her again, and while I'm focused on the Brain Surgeon case as much as I can be, given the circumstances, I'm not getting anywhere. And on top of all of this is the fact that there is my former lover who has every right to be pissed at me, but doesn't seem to be. Maybe I should really meet with Hannah, at least I could try to distinguish whether I can trust her or not. Her motives for coming back are still very much unclear to me, and it's potentially dangerous for me. She is a living witness of my little secret, she knows almost everything about me and the worst part is that she knows I don't want to hurt her.

I call her, and when I show up in front of her door, some old man answers and gives me strange look, and I end up apologizing. It's sunset and the guy has obviously been napping, so waking him up didn't made him very happy. He's not a pretty sight. He looks and acts just like my childhood hero, and adult disappointment, The Tooth Fairy.

Hannah calls me again and tells me to turn around and I finally notice her, waving from across the yard. This is exactly what I should've expected from her. Well, at least she's not pretending she fully trusts me.

When she lets me in, I'm almost thrown off my feet when she grabs me and kisses me, pressing her entire body against me. I wrap my arms around her and she whispers something that I couldn't catch because she's already tugging at my pants.

I try to stop her when she hungrily says " I'm going to remind you why you fell in love with me."

Those words freeze me. I untangle my limbs from her and eye her suspiciously.

"I sent you to jail and you're giving me… this? " My voice drops with doubt, and I take one step back. Even though it's Hannah, even though this is the woman that cared about me, is it really possible she's capable of forgiving me all of her turmoil in the past few months simply because she's in love with me…?

"I love you Dex." She smiles. "I thought that was pretty clear. And you know how things are with women in love. Even the toughest of us tend to be soft when it comes to love." She comes closer once again. Her chests moves heavily, and I notice that her nipples are showing under her white dress. My hands reluctantly moves and cups her breast, and she smiles again, slipping her tongue inside my mouth.

"Sex.. What a wonderful concept. It holds so much power. Women are so sensitive to it, you can keep them believing you love them if you fuck them properly. " Familiar voice disturbs almost perfect moment. Brian is really pain in the ass sometimes. He chews on one if his fingernails, satisfied he got my attention. "On related subject, what do you think how would our dear Debra feel if she knew you're about to fuck the woman that tried to kill her…? Sure thing, she was in love and women in love do forgive a lot of shit, but this betrayal…"

I stop as abruptly as I begun with my ministrations, and Hannah notices something is wrong. She sees that I'm tensed, and it disappoints her that she cannot relieve me of stress. I can't believe it. I was looking forward to seeing her, and now it turns out that even Hannah is not enough to make me feel good again. She does help, but it's not like it was before. Nothing is. Brian still being here proves it.

"I have somewhere to be." I tell her, stepping back from her. She raises her eyebrows in surprise and that quickly turns into agitation. Hannah shakes her head and circles around me in frustration before she stops in front of me once again, and then gives me very strange look.

"Okay Dex. Okay, leave. We'll talk later. But you're acting strange. If this is about Harrison…" She says, buttoning up her shirt. By the way her fingers move, I'm sure she is on the very verge of strangling me.

"It's not about Harrison." I say slowly, and it convinces her that she should drop the subject. Unlike Deb, Hannah knows when not to push me further. She doesn't ask any more questions when kiss her softly, saying I'll check in tomorrow. I head back to my car without turning back.

* * *

Debra is once again asleep in her bathtub, and this time there is no blood around. There is a very unfamiliar beach and a warm sea, and lot of people speaking Spanish, but there is one small voice that's still familiar. It's Harrison and he is in the water right beside her. They're playing with some shells and he suddenly grabs Deb by her hand and changes his face as he whispers in her ear. "Daddy is watching us."

Deb feels as horror grasp her and she wakes up, thankful she's alone. There was something in Harrison's eyes that made her terrified, and she rubs her temples, as if trying to shake the bad dream out her head. She takes her beer from the floor where she put it right before falling asleep and dresses herself in her night shirt and shorts. She lazily heads out of the bathroom, stretching her limbs and flexing her cramping neck. After the minor breakdown she survived in last 24 hours, finding out the truth about Rudy's death and almost turning herself in, this kind of night was exactly what she needed. She is numb inside, and the big, black hole inside her that's eating her alive is silent tonight, so it almost doesn't hurt. And if Dexter respects her wishes, and stays away from her this time...

"Deb." Dexter's voice rips comfortable silence, and she almost drops the bottle.

A motionless figure is in the corner of her living room, sitting in her chair with his arms comfortably settled on the armrests and for second she believes he is just part of her imagination.

"You really crossed the fucking line this time." Deb says barely audibly. A small part of her is thrilled he's still here, he still hasn't given up. But much larger part of her wants to smash his head with something. He fucking promised he'll leave her alone. And his sorry ass lied to her once again. "You said we're done."

"I lied", comes back his cold reply.

Deb suddenly remembers Brian's slit throat and she involuntarily steps back. Dexter gets up and takes slow, measured steps to close the distance between them. He stops right at an arms length and his eyes dance over her face. His stare drops down and she can't help but think about what's must be going on in his head right now. Does he imagine doing to her what he did to his brother? "That's fucking insane." She thinks "He would never hurt me." But the unpleasant feeling still stays there, and she inhales deeply in order to calm herself.

"I was worried you'll do something stupid." He says, but his voice is somewhat stiff, and she sees some sort of strange determination in his posture. "What you said today wasn't something I can just shrug off, you know ."

"I changed my mind. We traded something, remember? I give up on turning myself in, and you finally walk away. " Deb heads to bedroom, a sudden sense of weakness taking over. She is so fucking tired of these conversations. How can't he see that she cannot bear to look him in his eyes knowing that he gave up Brian for her? His eyes pierce through her, and she doesn't like that dark look on his face. It reminds of her of that night when he killed Briggs in front of her. Like he is possessed or something.

Dexter follows her and grabs her by her left wrist, and she automatically tries to stop him with her other hand, because even it was months since she broken her wrist in car her accident, it's still sore sometimes. His grip is iron and it finally forces her to face him. Dexter looks utterly transformed, and she feels her heart skip a few beats. There is something too intimate in the atmosphere for her to handle, and she is suddenly aware that only steps separate them from bed.

"Dexter… Let go of my hand." Deb identifies the emotion that is painted on his face, and shivers. It's something…some kind of hunger she use to see a few times when they were teenagers. It both terrifies and excites her and Deb wants to shy away from him. So she says the first thing that's on her mind. "Let go of my fucking hand or I'm going to make you swallow it."

Dexter smiles, but it makes her even more nervous. Deb yanks away her hand and rubs it absently, trying to understand what's going in his head. The worst part is that she's afraid he'll mention Brian once again, and she still can't wrap her mind around it. What can she possibly say. "Hey I'm sorry you killed him? Ain't that shitty, or what?" Or the odd truth that sneaks up on her after realizing that he gave up his chance to be the true himself just to keep her safe. "I wish it was me dying there." Because that's the truth. Last night, when she found out about what really happened back then, her throat was dry and her chest was aching, but there were no tears. No fucking tears at all. Rudy is dead. Rudy is dead because of her. Dexter killed Rudy-Brian because of her. Dexter killed his fucking brother for her.

"How many times do I have to throw you out?", she tries the same approach she's been using for months. But right now, it sounds so forced, so defensive. She can't bear to look him in his eyes knowing that he, too, gave up a lot for her. Only he wasn't spinning out of control for that, and he wasn't losing his mind. He just kept living. And that's the part that scares her, that because of his ability to move forward and stay unscratched he should be put down.

Because only true monsters can't feel anything.

"I'm not leaving Deb." He says in serious tone, and Deb knows he means it. "Not tonight."

"What if I call the good old fucking cops and tell them everything?" She challenges, but he shakes his head.

"You won't."

"What if I leave, since you obviously won't move your fucking ass?" She starts to walk away but he is onto her in seconds, both of his hands pinning her arms to her torso, and his hot breath makes her instantly freeze. Dexter hisses an inch away from her ear. She can feel his chest against her back and it makes her shudder.

"No, Deb, you won't."

Dexter hasn't held her like this since her father died and they haven't hugged for an eternity, so this behavior of his is something new and odd and she doesn't know what to think about it. His body is so close to her and she feels heat emanating from him, and then suddenly she realizes his lips are so fucking close, and deep inside she has a feeling it's leading to new, uncharted territory. A place that's better left unexplored.

She can't help one dirty, nagging idea forming in her head about where this could end and her heart thumps so hard that she can't hear what he's saying. No, no, it can't be that, she must've heard him wrong. She must be wrong. Actually, her own voice is so small, so thin and alien to her that when she speaks it sounds like it's someone else. And she has trouble attaching that small voice to herself. He is saying something and she is yelling at him, but she can't really hear herself, or him. What the fuck is going on? Has she finally lost her mind?

"Why wouldn't I?" her own voice finally breaks the deafness.

Dexter lets out shaky breath and moves his hand to rest on her shoulder, his fingers wrapping around strap and slowly pushing it down. "Because you're in love with me, that's' why."

And panic hits full force when she finally gets what he's been hinting at. She tries to free herself because it burns, every single place his skin makes contact with hers. It fucking burns and she can't take it anymore. Jesus Christ, she can't let him do that. She can't let him do that to her. Not now, not when she fucking hates him.

She thinks she's saying something, but she's not sure, because everything is blur. It's like she's drugged and everything around her is crushing down. It's only the feeling of his lips that's present and real and his teeth are on her neck, biting and marking her. Deb tries to hit him, but Dexter is so much stronger than she ever expected him to be. She knows she can't fight him but she has to try. Every single punch she was ever taught how to do he already anticipates, and her desperate attacks fail because there is one important thing that she forgot.

Yes, she is trained fighter, but he is natural born killer, and she is much weaker than she should be. It's like his lips drained her of all her strength and Dexter easily turns her around and pushes her and Deb feels she has hit the mattress. They're in bed, they're in fucking bed, and he wants to fuck her. This is not fucking happening.

Debra offers herself perfectly logical explanation for this situation. She must be still asleep. It's all in her head. Because no way in Earth would Dexter take her shirt off and touch her this way if she really was awake.

The only problem is that when she finally brings herself to touch his bare chest is that she feels his pectoral muscles under her fingers _so fucking vividly_. Dexter works on untying her pajamas and stops only for a moment to look her in the eyes.

Deb catches her own very distraught reflection in his eyes.

Terrified, she finally realizes this is not a dream at all.

This is real.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: This is where things start to get really messy... So, you've been warned. :-) To all of you who read/reviewed this, thank you for your time. This chapter was particularly difficult to write ( and the next one is even tougher, but I'm working on it), it's a game changer, and I'm really interested in your opinions did I manage to stay in character when it comes to these two. So, yeah... I would love some review:-)**

* * *

While I patiently wait for her to emerge from the bathroom, I expect that there will be moment of clarity that will make me get up, leave her house, and forget about everything. But it doesn't happen.

"_The answer has always been there, right in front of you." _ Brian takes a gulp of Deb's beer and makes face at it. "_This is warm." _He sets the bottle down. "_That was what I was trying to tell you all this time. If you can't be her brother…which you're not, by the way…you can be something else. It's easy with women in love. You heard Hannah." _He leans against couch and smiles at me. "_ You heard Vogel. You can do with them whatever the fuck you want. Once you have their heart, they're yours. Trust me I know. I had Deb."_

Where are you, Harry? Where are you now to protect your daughter from me? To help me stay human? To defend us from my inner monster? From the monster you yourself nourished?

"_Harry left you once Deb abandoned you. Don't worry, there is always brother Brian to look after you." _My brother is so happy to see me finally prepare to exact his long waited revenge over his ex fiancée, and I'm unable to stop him. To stop me. Both of us.

"I'm not going to … do anything to Deb."

"_Oh, then why are you here? Breaking into her house this way…you surely know you're not here for steaks and beer."_

I swallow and try to suppress these thoughts and the sound of his voice, but it's not working.

I need her back in my life. Losing Deb for good is not an option. Harry, where the fuck are you? What do I do?

She comes out of bathroom and I stand there watching her. Her hair is wet and she smells of that same shampoo she's been using since she went in Academy and I can't stop thinking how she told me she'll always love me, no matter what. Was it truth, Deb? For a moment she looks so much younger and fragile and I'm fighting the urge to come closer and hold her tight and never let her leave. But her eyes are shallow and there is no more life in them. Just a shadow of brilliant cop and faithful sister and friend who gave up everything for me.

Will I be able to bring back the light in her? Or will I push her further in the dark pit that my secret created? If I touch her, will she break, once and for all?

She is frustrated by the fact that I don't want to leave, so she purses her lips and breathes out very slowly and makes a move to go and that suddenly makes me angry. My inner monster reacts and my hand moves of it's own accord and I grab her by her left hand, remembering that it will force her to be still.

Our faces are very close, and I can feel her ragged breath as she tries to understand what's going on. She falls silent, maybe because she's trying to catch her breath, maybe because she sees things in my eyes, dangerous things, that make her stop.

"Deb…" I whisper. "I think it's enough. It's time for you to snap out of this. Do you understand me?"

"Don't fucking touch me."

What will happen if I kiss her? That thought comes suddenly and scares the shit out of me. Is that what's my mind has been hinting at ever since I left Hannah's place? Is this what my instincts are up to?

"I'm sorry. You simply haven't left me any choice. I think I've waited too long."

She doesn't understand what will happen. And I guess that makes the two of us. I expect that something will make me stop, I expect that some part of my brain will react and remind me that _this is my sister_, but my determination doesn't waver a bit. I'm beginning to wonder if this is just me manipulating Deb or me lying to myself.

I don't know I'm capable of doing it until it happens.

Something flickers in the air. My whole body tenses in sweet anticipation, just like when I prepare to hunt. This is it. No turning back now. I inch closer and heat from her body makes me dizzy. My eyes fall to her lips, then to her eyes and then back to her lips as I tilt my head and she suddenly realizes where this is leading to. I bite her neck and it suddenly awakes my dark companion. This is not like when I kill. It's different. It's _better. _

But biting her, marking her is not enough. I have that urge… to touch her, to move that strap of her shoulder, so I do. Just a little further. Just to see how far I can go. Just to feel this bit longer.

I don't expect her to struggle so much. We end up on bed and there is sound of her ragged breaths and her large eyes search for mine as if trying to say "What the fuck?" She doesn't seem to recognize me, but that's alright, because I don't recognize myself, either.

I should stop. I should stop this.

But I can't. The flood gates are open and it's too late to stop the torrent. Something that's been buried, awakes and it takes control over my body. I can feel that dark shadow emanating out of me, making me almost blind. And the feeling of her naked legs under me, her thick scent, and her parted lips make my monster extremely satisfied. But it wants more. I can't let him have her, but it just won't give up. I'm doomed to helplessly watch him take her. Is that Brian in me? Or has it always been me, hidden behind thousands of my masks?

"No.", she says, trying to sound firm, but instead it goes out as a shaky breath that transforms into desperate, cracked voice. "You are out of your fucking mind. Let me go."

It takes a second for me to register what's really going on. In an effort to regain control, I lost it completely. And then the very conscious, very definite decision comes. My grip on her hardens and I harshly grab the fabric of her shirt. I'm tired of fighting this. I want her.

She says something, but I don't listen to her, as I take her shirt off her and there is utter shock in her eyes when I pause to look her. Her small, firm breasts hidden behind her thin, black bra rapidly move and I swear I can hear the sound of her heart, so deafening and loud. I support my body on my left hand, as the right one traces her check bone, and slides lower, to her trembling lips, caressing them. She lets out shaky breath when my hand stops on her neck, while the other hand works on getting rid of her pajama pants.

I may not be her brother anymore. Actually in her own words, I never was her brother. But I am man she is in love with. Or at least, she was. And I will make sure to keep her by my side, one way or another. Whatever I have to do.

She was right, I should be put down.

Deb finally recovers from initial shock and tries to push me off her, but I grab her arms easily and pin them above her head. I take a moment to let the realization how much stronger I am settles in her. She simply stands no chance against me. She is panting, and her eyes are shocked and scared, and there is glimpse of the old Deb, that Deb I knew for years. This is not angry, hateful Debra that was born inside her since Laguerta took a bullet, a bullet I earned. No, this is the terrified rookie cop that was afraid to speak in front of room full of people that didn't possess even half of her intelligence.

And that's good. I like it. I want her to be afraid and insecure. This way I can keep her under my control. Exactly where I want her. Exactly where she _belongs._

"What are you doing?" she says, and it's not a question. I slowly descend and hover an inch away from her lips. She is so close to me and I feel myself painfully harden and my control slowly slipping away from me once again. Even if I wanted I don't know if I could stop myself now.

"Dex, stop it." Her breath hitches when my palm squeezes her throat, and I look at her almost amused.

"So we're back to "Dex". Good. We're making progress then.", I say darkly.

My hand frees her, and I wait for her to start resisting. But she keeps her eyes closed and she squeezes her eyelids tighter when she feels me taking her clothes off and she is about to push herself up, when my hands pin her by her shoulders once again and I plant rough kisses on her flat, firm stomach, her skin shuddering from my touch. She suddenly bites my left arm and I yelp in surprise, catching the sore spot with my other arm instinctively. She desperately lurches forward and I harshly stop her, my hand flying in her hair, and grabbing her so I can calm her.

"Don't do that again." I slowly say through gritted teeth. She gives me truly terrified look, and for a second I almost contemplate stopping although it's not enough to make me give up this feeling. Because being this close to her is something new and perfect and refreshing and I really, really want to go farther. If this makes me feel so good, what would being inside her do to me…?

Deb holds her breath when I slowly kiss her collarbone and my tongue finds it's way lower as both of my hands take straps of her bra and slowly pull it down, but she doesn't even try to move this time. Suddenly, her breasts are exposed as I push my pelvis up, and she moans, feeling me hard against her. Some strange growl escapes her lips when my mouth attacks her nipple, sucking it. She has beautiful nipples, dark and round and hard. How could've I resisted her this long? I enjoy the taste of her flesh in my mouth and it feels so _right_ to do this.

My index finger slowly glides down stopping short of her panties. We look at each other, the short moment of raw honesty, and her pink, flushed face and her so familiar, warm eyes suddenly make me think of only one word. Love. That's what love must look like. It has Deb's face. Innocent, lost and fragile.

Deb slowly turns her head away from me, as I quickly work on the rest of my clothes. I push her panties down, and there she is naked in front of me, her eyes closed, her chest moving in fast, exasperated rhythm and I part her legs and position so I can thrust into her.

"Deb look at me." I tell her, shocked when quiet sob escapes her lips.

Fuck.

She is crying. What the fuck have I done?

She hasn't moved to touch me. She doesn't enjoy this. It's all over. I have to stop although I don't want to.

I tell her just that, but her reaction surprises me.

She just curses and pushes herself up until her tongue is exploring my mouth, her hands in my hair, pulling me closer.

I sigh in relief, and then I gasp as her trembling, takes me in hand, strokes me a few times and rubs me against her folds. That's all it takes to make me lose it and finally get where I so desperately want to be.

Inside her.

* * *

He is not letting her leave. She's not sure she wants to stop him, but she tries nevertheless and she fails, because it seems he's determined to do this his way. His touches go from leather gentle to very tough in a quick second and she's dreading the moment when his dick enters her. He is hard and more then ready and although she always liked that nagging feeling just before she is about to get fucked, this time it's different. This is Dexter. This is fucking _Dexter_ doing this to her.

Her panties are damp and she feels herself involuntarily getting wetter in each passing moment. Dexter's mouth are on her nipples, his tongue circling and nibbling, and she has desire to hurt him so bad for making her feel this way. Dexter knows what he's doing, it's like he's been fucking her his entire life, he touches her in all the right ways and all the right places. He gets rid of their clothes and parts her legs. He settles between them while his hands cup her ass and then she feels it. He is so hard and so close to her, and she's screaming inside, desperately trying to keep that sound inside her. She can't show him that he has her, that he broken her for good, and that she's his right now.

"Deb, look at me" she hears him say.

She hesitantly obliges and sees his eyes searching for something in her, something she simply can't give him anymore. Her soul is broken, and those bleeding, broken pieces must reflect on her face, because for a second he looks frightened by what he sees. His ragged breath, and hair wet from the exhausting game they've been playing and his parted lips break her in ways she couldn't imagine happening ever again to her. She places her left palm over her eyes to stop the flowing tears but it's in vain, as they start to bubble up even harder inside her.

Dexter is shocked by her reaction and he starts saying he's sorry but she shakes her head and still cries, and then she hears him say "I'm so sorry I hurt you, I'm stopping this now."

Just when he's about to get up, she hatefully replies. "Fuck you, Dexter."

"What?" he asks puzzled but his voice is silenced by her lips as she grabs his hair and yanks him down to her with new found strength. She pushes her tongue between his lips and Dexter responds timidly, like he's afraid of hurting her again. It doesn't last long, though, as his big, stiff cock suddenly tears her flesh and creates waves of great pain followed by pleasure and she screams when he goes to very end.

Dexter pushes once again, even harder, and although she is wet, it's not enough for him to do that without hurting her. He grabs the bed stand and steadies himself, going harder every time. Deb cries out once again and it actually makes him stop, but not withdraw out of her. After moment of silence he pushes once again and this time she arches her back and he uses that opportunity to place his hand under her lower back so her can hold her closer. He takes his chances and goes little faster and rougher by each thrust until they eyes meet and it makes him stop abruptly. She turns her head away once again, avoiding to look him in the face but he grabs her chin and forces her to face him. She shuts her eyes as he moans out her name.

"Let me up" she whispers through frantic breaths, and he surprisingly her lets her sit up. She places her hands around his neck kissing him rough, moaning when he breaks the kiss to lay down on the mattress, letting her control the situation. She puts her hands on his stomach and closes her eyes, riding him fast. He changes his mind quickly and pushes her onto her back once again, and this time lets go completely.

"Oh God." He hears her say when he pushes into her harder.

She shudders and throws her head back, her mouth fighting for air as her legs tangle around his waist, allowing him to go deeper. He embraces her and they kiss, like there is an entire lifetime of longing behind them. She never hated him and loved him so much like she does at this moment. And that's the only thing she's sure of right now.

Sound of their breaths and groans filled the room, joining the sound of his flesh slipping into her. She is so wet and yet she feels like she's too tight. Deb remembers her dream, and how gentle and kind he's been in it. But this man inside her is almost violent and pretty much controlling and she finally realizes that the perfect picture of Dexter she had in her head shatters, leaving an empty feeling.

But why does this feel so right?

Why does she enjoys being hurt so much by him? For the first time she fully understands the concept of his Dark Passenger, because right now, this creature fucking her is anything but human. She knows it's the real him, that person she wanted to know, she recognized him from that night in the church and that night with Briggs.

All of her thoughts drain when she feels herself her walls tighten around his cock as she comes hard and cries out his name. He follows her fast, and she doesn't have time to think about the fact that she's not on the pill before she feels him filling her up with his cum. He rolls off her and collapses on bed, and Deb feels her face is soaked in tears and all of her wounds are finally open and exposed.

She just had sex with her brother.

"I will never forgive you this." She whispers before Dexter turns around and silences her with a long, passionate kiss. He closes his eyes and plants small light kisses on her lips, nose, cheek, and Deb simply can't stand his touch anymore, and she pushes him away and turns her back to him, laying on her right side. He returns to his place in bed, and it's not too long before she hears his steady breathing and she knows he's asleep. No wonder, he must be fucking exhausted.

Deb gets up and goes to the bathroom, closing the door behind her and finally allowing herself to cry.

Because she's still in love with him.


	8. Chapter 8

**To all of you that reviewed my story, thank you so much! Reviews are needed more than ever, since I hate to leave things unfinished... So is this worth continuing, or not... That's up to you to share tell me.:-)**

** Right now, it's very difficult to write, since the show is so close to the end... And although I created my own version that's pretty different than the show, and I'm trying my best to keep them all in character ( at least those characters we've knew for years), it's still hard, knowing that there won't be more "Dexter" just in few days... I divorced myself from the show for few episodes, for the sake of my story, but mostly my sanity :-), but I made very big mistake and watched ep 11... That wasn't the smartest move, it was low blow to my inspiration...**

**My plan to get this finished before series finale is officially mission impossible, since I have considerably less time to write these days (something I haven't ****anticipated at all). I have the best and pretty much the fastest beta reader in the whole world, and only thanks to her I got to post this chapter this quickly after ch 7. So, thank you, thank, thank you!:-)**

**Ah here goes ch 8.**

* * *

CHAPTER EIGHT

When I wake up, I'm alone in bed and things that played out between Deb and me suddenly come crushing down and I look up to see Brian smiling. He is glowing and I know I'm finally aware of what actually happened. I look into his face horrified, and he winks at me, pointing at sheets around me, and our clothes on the floor.

How far would a monster go to keep his prey in his cage? I guess the answer lies right here. Unimaginably far.

"It will be just a question of time when I'll do something unfathomable." Those were my words to her, not so long ago. I warned you, Deb. Why didn't you listen to me?

"_You really let it loose with her. That was too much, even for me. And I'm not the one Moser that shied away from sex." He blinks slowly, content. _"_I don't think you ever fucked any woman that way. Not even Hannah. Well, that's a way with Deb. But you always knew she has it in herself, right, Dex? Ever since you saw her fucking Gabriel. And you wanted this since then. Touching her this way, owning her." _

I frown and look at ceiling fan spinning. "_Who would've known that the fact she's in love with you will help you get her back in your life? _" devilish brother of mine asks. "_Good thing you listened to me, at least once. Yes, you're being a bastard, but honestly bro, who gives a fuck, as long as she's yours_?"

Maybe it's not fair I used it for my personal gain, but desperate times take desperate measures. After all, this is for both our sakes. I could be human again, well, sort of. And she will be back where she should be, away from that crazy jewelry thief, drugs, and other things, not good for her.

But… I fucked someone I considered my sister my entire life.

"_She was never your sister_.", Brian's voice returns, very loud. I see him sitting on the floor, his back at the door. " _Let me tell you something you should've realized long time ago. You always wanted her. Look at yourself, you never enjoyed sex that much. That's the reason you didn't kill her, and you choose to put me down. She was always something different, something …more. I knew that since your comment about white roses."_

"I didn't want her, I didn't planned to do this …" and then I shake my head, trying to convince myself this was a good thing." This happened because I needed to get her back. And what's with white roses? I don't understand you." I stumble at my words.

Brian chuckles, annoyed, and then points a finger to Debs place in bed.

"_She was always there for you. She has given you her soul and now her body." _He starts laughing hard. " _I sound like brother Sam now. No, seriously Dexter, how did you think it would end?" _Brian makes a face at me. _ "When I say roses, you know damn well what I'm talking about. When Deb and I got into that fight, you told me to buy her white roses. Care to remember how you knew those were her favorite flowers ,hm, little brother?"_

I knew what he was referring to. First flower she ever got was a single white rose I gave her for her prom night. I can remember her black dress too tight and too short in my opinion and her blood red lipstick perfectly. She fidgeted while she waited her date to come and pick her up. She was so nervous that her date wouldn't bring her any flowers, so I sneaked out of the house and stole her a white rose from our neighbor.

Of course, boy did brought her flowers, but she didn't even noticed it. Since then, she would always say that her favorite flowers were white roses. And that was strange to me. I never understood that.

Suddenly, Deb appears in the doorway. She is still naked, and she doesn't seem to notice I'm awake. She is in a trance when she sits on the bed collecting her clothes and trying to dress herself as she violently shudders. I try to reach for her, but she practically jumps away from me, covering herself. Look in her eyes is wild and I'm suddenly glad she hasn't walked in with her gun. Because I would be dead man right here and now.

"Deb…" I try to say as softly as I can.

The way she breathes I thinks she's about to faint, or have a heart attack. Right now, option one sounds great, because I don't know what to say to her. I feel something, but what? Although it's still dark, I can clearly see the bruises that I inflicted on her skin, and Brian slowly stands up and glides his hands over purple fingerprints on her left shoulder.

"_Perfect",_ he breathes, pressing his lips on her skin.

"Deb…" I try again, moving toward her, and then I notice her eyes are swollen from crying. She looks like a completely different person, and it breaks me knowing I did this to her.

But she wanted this. She made it clear. I think.

Shit.

"Oh God, don't touch me. Don't fucking touch me. Ever fucking again." She chokes over her own words. "What have you done to me?"

"I did… I didn't force you to…" I'm lost at my words. My head feels empty. Think, Dexter.

"What the fuck have I let you do to me?" Her hands are in her hair, and she isn't looking at me anymore.

And then I make the worst possible decision I could. I choose to blurt out the truth, just when lying is more than necessary.

"You were in love with me. I thought you wanted this!" I childishly whine. That's right, whine. Fucking idiot.

Brian slaps his forehead. "_And the award for the stupidest serial killer in the world goes to…"_

"You did it because I'm in love with you?" She raises her tone, her eyes going even wider. " You fucking did it because I'm… Are you being fucking serious?"

"I told you I want you back!", I yell at her. " You left me no choice!" There we go, I'm frustrated once again. Deb is really good at this.

"So you decided to stick your fucking cock into me? Oh God I'm going to be sick." She makes her point very clear by hitting her thighs. Sheet falls off, uncovering her breasts and I can see more of my marks I left on her. She gasps, embarrassed, covering herself once again, and it frustrates me somehow. What's even worse is that my own body reacts and I'm aware that I want her once again. I don't think that would be good idea, right now.

"Deb, it's not like that." I try defending myself, but she just won't have any of this.

"Mark my fucking words, Dexter: you won't hurt me anymore.", she quickly says. "What you did to me last night…It will never going to happen again."

I grow impatient, and get up, pacing through her room.

"At least fucking cover yourself!" She screams at me.

I dress myself and curse few times, because it's so damn hot in here and it makes me sweat even more.

"What I did to you? What I did to you?!" I harshly repeat her words , getting up once again and stopping right in front of her, desire to yank that sheet of her naked body growing even more.

"Yes! What you did to me! I fucking told you to stop! You didn't!"

How the hell did I make such a risky decision and why am I even surprised she hates me even more right now? Now I'm truly lost, and my anger colors my voice as I say in a low tone, the one I use with my playmates right before I kill them.

"Are you implying that I, what, raped you? Are you out of your fucking mind? !You wanted it as badly as I did." I lean forward, half expecting her to punch me. I want to fucking shake her and shout in her stubborn face that I'm sick of this shit and it's time to stop this madness right now. It's her fault anyway.

"I told you to stop, didn't I? I begged you! And now it ended this way!" she fires back, unafraid of my intimidating posture.

"This way? What way? What the fuck are you talking about!?"

"About your little manipulation game. You manipulated me into having sex with you. You manipulated me into saying I love you! You did all of this on purpose, don't pretend it's not like that!", her voice cracks into sobbing, and my chest burns a little at hearing her cry, but I'm a psychopath, and we don't have empathy so I choose to ignore this sensation. But it's still difficult to breathe. And it gets even worse every second. I want to hug her, to save her from pain. I can't stand to see her hurt.

Because, in flash second in front of my eyes is worried Debra, holding Harrison and staring at me in funeral home after Rita's death. The one Debra that was there my whole life. The one that loved me unconditionally, and protected me no matter what.

I just want _my_ Deb back.

How did we come to this?

"Deb, I… I don't know what to say." All of my anger disappears. The only thing that's left is numbness, deep inside.

"So, you're not denying it. Thank you, Dex. Thank you for your honesty. It was about fucking time." She lurches and turns to leave to bathroom, avoiding to touch me.

I hear the familiar sound of her throwing up, and I close my eyes, trying to suppress it. But it's in vain, especially when I follow her and her thin form on the floor makes me feel even more desperate.

I stand above her naked figure and try to help her and at least hold her hair, but she elbows me hard, and blood pours out of my nose in stream, and I grunt in pain.

" You called me sick when I confessed I'm in love with you, don't you remember? Now I am really fucking sick. Go away. " She manages to say, her head resting on her forearm, and her skinny back exposed to me. It's getting worse, she is even more thin. I remember Doakes, and his words. I'm a cancer, and I'm eating Debra alive.

I raise my eyes, expecting to see Brian standing there, but it's Harry's eyes that meet me this time.

He looks guilty and he doesn't speak at all. I would expect him to be resentful, to tell me something insulting. Instead of that, he whispers.

"_No need for that, son. You see by yourself what you've done to her." _He crouches down beside her, caressing her hair. "_My daughter…My childlike daughter…You have to stay here, Dex. "_ He says without looking at me.

I stumble on my words. "Stay here? I thought you wanted me as far away from her as Ican be after what happened, after what I did to her!"

"_The damage is done already. I pray only that it doesn't go further."_ He sighs worried.

"It can be worse than this!" I cry out, gesturing at Deb, still puking.

"_She could kill herself."_ Harry slowly says. "_You've seen something like this already…"_

He is right. I saw _him _ this way just before he … swallowed handful of pills and abandoned us. Shitty move on his part, by the way. Maybe he should've put me down. When it comes to murder, I don't regret that. Every single one of them had it coming. But Deb didn't deserve this. I should suffer solely for destroying her.

"If you loved her instead of me, you would've stopped me. You should've stayed. Why didn't you stay?"

"_I love both of my children."_

"But Deb is the one that gets hurt every time. Thanks to you." Accusation slips my mouth easily, and I venomously watch as Harry shakes his head.

"_It's not me that put hands on her. It wasn't Brian, either. It was you. Only you, Dex."_

He is right. Brian did the best to convince me that this is good idea, and I should've known better, but it was me who did this in the end.

Because, while we were in bed I never felt so complete and alive.

Looking down at her, I notice she's still so I decide to take her back to the room.

I grab her firmly, and she thrashes, screaming profanities at me, but I manage to hold her still, washing her face, and guiding her back to bed. Her thin form shivers against my warm body, and I hug her, laying down with her and holding her from behind. I bury my face in her hair and hush her, whispering how much I'm sorry and she finally calms down. Only her quickly beating heart lets me know that she is still alive.

"Fuck me." She suddenly says.

That startles me. It is more than unexpected and I'm unsure what I should say or do right now. Truth to be told, I think I'm afraid of even looking her in her face.

"Deb…" I carefully say.

She turns around, her face twisted in anger.

"You fucking heard me. Fuck me."

"This is not good idea." I try to back off.

"Oh, and it was a good idea few hours ago?" She asks, taking my left arm and placing it over her breast. " Do it. Hurt me."

"I don't want to hurt you." I honestly say.

"I'm already gone." She humorlessly laughs. " Come on, do it. Do it like you really want me, like you love me the way I love you." These last words leave me cold. I can't do this to her.

"Do it Dexter, or I'll leave." She whispers." I'll let Elway fuck me instead of you."

My eyes narrow at her, and her stare hardens as my two fingers quickly find her entrance, pushing in. She swallows hard, and I know very well I've hurt her. She is tight and what bothers me the most is that she isn't wet. But she asked me to do this. So I will.

My fingers move back and forth and she flinches in pain when I turn her around, her back again me, and my hand gripping her hip. She turns around to kiss me…I slide deep inside her and she moans into my mouth.

"So you do love me very much, after all." She smiles when I thrust harder. "Yessss Dex, that's fucking good."

And that's when I wake up, covered in sweat.

Having sex with Deb in my dreams is definitely not good thing. Especially after we did it for real.

* * *

This is second time I have the same dream. It's getting more and more disturbing. I'm not someone that usually dreams. When I sleep, my whole body sleeps.

I wash my face and carefully examine my nose. Deb hit me pretty hard, and I guess I have earned it. After I guided her back to bed that night, I somehow managed to make her fall asleep. Actually, I think she was too tired and too much in shock to stay awake. But my mind played tricks with me and I dream that it hadn't ended that way.

In reality, after she fell asleep I snuck out of her house, and we haven't talked since then. It's been days since then, and not a word from her. On my part, I've been busy trying to find out who the Brain Surgeon was.

And then Matilda committed suicide last night and I had the pleasure to talk to Mr. Watson once again. I don't believe in coincidences, so naturally, I vetted him, and the only thing that's really interesting is that Mr Watson was once Oliver Saxon. Apart from that, I couldn't find shit. It seems like Oliver Saxon hasn't existed until fifteen years ago, and that's about it. Matilda's suicide was a pretty clear case, anyway. She hung herself in garage, unable to take the pain over her loss.

Hannah, on the other side, has been one important constant these days. She would cook for me, and we would spend nights in bed in her hotel room. I remembered everything I loved about her. They way she would smile when she wakes up and see me, her funny habit of jumping off the bed, always standing on her left leg first. I learned she was superstitious, although she wasn't believer at all. But that's okay since she wanted to celebrate Christmas, too. And I'm not against it.

And the most important thing was that she gave me some sort of peace when nothing else seem to work anymore. My urge to kill is silent for now, but I know it will arise from it's depth soon enough. But for now, I have her to hold me down.

It's going to be okay. With Hannah by my side, and Harrison that's going to come back today, everything is going to be okay. I will deal with my son's issue and I'm going to find the Brain Surgeon.

It will work out. Everything is in my control.

It's usually only one breath that crashes down an entire house of cards, carefully constructed. It takes hours to build sand castle, but only one wild rush of water to destroy it.

Those philosophical thoughts make me strangely disturbed as I watch Astor and Harrison playing in sand, and Deb sitting few meters away from them, watching absently at the horizon. Jaime has her day off, and she is at Quinn's place, but we have one more member here that's not family at all.

It's Jacob.

Apparently, he is Deb's new "special friend". Or that's how she says it. It's been more than half of the month since we did…that, and I can still see ghosts of my actions on her skin. Faint traces of my fingerprints on her hip remind me of something that should be forgotten. That has to be forgotten.

Batista is smiling at us, and he comes to hug Deb, when she kisses him on cheek, and excuses herself quickly, avoiding to be near me. My eyes follow her intently when she slowly comes into water. Ocean is pretty hostile today, waves making it very difficult to swim.

Deb always hated them.

Batista picks Harrison up and Astor glances curiously toward Elway, and he gives her an apologetic look, knowing he shouldn't be here. So he gets up to get us drinks, and I turn around to see if Deb is swimming.

And then I freeze when I don't see her.

* * *

A large wave hits shore. Then another one. Deb resurfaces and waits for the next wave. Then she disappears underwater once again.

She is watching what's left of her family, and she is beyond sad. There were times when they annoyed the shit out of her, when she couldn't move in her own apartment because there their stuff was everywhere. She decided she had it enough when she tripped over Cody's toy and on the same night she discovered she doesn't have place to sleep, because Dexter has taken her bed, so she went to look for her sanctuary at Quinn's.

It was right after Rita died, and her house was full of people.

She was scared shitless back then. But she took care of her family. And she did that the best way she could and with all her love. Because that's what was really important. Even when the brothers Fuentes made her exhausted, even when she couldn't sleep all night because of her job and Harrison's cries, it was worth it.

Because it was her family. The only thing that matters. And because Dexter was so lost, and she was the stronger Morgan for the first time.

She remembers Rita every once in a while. Especially after she discovered that she's in love with Dexter, with _Rita's _Dexter. And she feels guilty, but it's done. It's over. Everything is utterly and forever fucked. Rita is gone. Debra had sex with Dexter.

Dexter, that doesn't actually belong to anyone.

Only to his Dark Passenger.

Deb feels numb from the inside. She accepted Jacob's offer, and now they're something like fuck buddies, but they're actually not. She is kissing him, but she can't let him fuck her. Because it doesn't feel right. Absurdly enough, Elway _is _the only thing that should feel right.

Astor is following her around ever since she came to Miami twelve days ago. She didn't want this, but when Dexter showed up at her place with Astor and Harrison, she couldn't say "no" to the kids. And still she couldn't look at him. Not only because the shitty ass fucked her, but because she let him do that. She enjoyed it too much that she's afraid to look herself in the mirror.

Dexter never called after that. And they haven't talked about that. She's oddly content because of that. At least that's remotely normal. Just like a regular dude after one night stand would do. Only Dexter isn't normal.

He's her foster brother. He is serial killer. He is the one constantly good thing in her life.

How can she still think of him like that? Jesus Christ…

Deb stands up and after she greets Batista, she turns around and walks right into water. The tide looks scary but she doesn't care. Once when they were kids, she would try to outran the waves, and she would always feel safer on the shore. Dexter, on the other hand, always dove underneath them, and she was jealous because of that. Because she wasn't brave enough to follow him.

People can change, she thinks, and takes step forward. Waves crush her, and she ends up in the salty water. She laughs at herself, and continues walking. The next one is fucking big, but she doesn't care.

People can change.

She knows she can.

Deb takes deep breath and greets the wave. Once under the surface, she feels alive. Deeper, she thinks, and she dives.

Just a little more.

Her breath is giving up. Her whole body screams at her to get out and inhale a large gulp of air. But she doesn't. Instead she moves deeper, toward the very bottom, and she thinks she's about to lose consciousness, when someone grabs her and gets her out of it.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Dexter voice hisses in her ear.

But she doesn't listen to him. She's breathing hard, enjoying feeling of being in the warm sun.

People can change.

"Fuck off, Dexter." She bites out, showing her teeth dangerously. "What, you thought I was going to kill myself? Fuck you." She smiles arrogantly and shies away from him.

He follows her to the shore.

* * *

I don't know what she was thinking. When I saw she was so long under water, I honestly believed she was hurt. It took only few seconds to get to her, but it felt like an eternity. Deb growled at me, and I gave her a little space but I followed her all the way back to the safe ground. She really seemed like she enjoyed suffocating herself, and that gave me some food for thought. Ever since we slept together I half expected she would show up one day and shoot me. Or sell me out to the police. Or hurt me some other way. Or something else, something I've dreamed off, but that's not what I should be thinking right now. Or _ever,_ for that fact...

I inspect her, and it amazes me that there are no traces of her using drugs or alcohol. It's medically improbable, but yeah, here it is. A miracle right before my very eyes.

She looks and acts like she's absolutely fine.

And that's what worries me the most.

Incidents like this one prove I'm right. She is far from okay. Deb is good swimmer, but she always hated being under water. What was this about?

Also, there is that thing with Elway. The guy is irritating as hell, I can't believe that once I thought we could actually be some sort of friends. If he would fit the Code, I would be more than happy to introduce him to my table. But somehow I don't think my sist-Debra would appreciate that.

I wish I could tell her about Harrison, though. Most probably she would blame me, since I blame myself, too. Harrison avoided talking about the dead animal, there is no way to get anything out of him. He refused to admit that he killed it or hurt it, and I can only dread and wait for the next stage to happen. I sent him to Vogel, and she examined and said she doesn't see anything wrong with him, for now. At least, that's a little comforting.

I turn my head to see Elway kissing Deb, and when our eyes meet, I see glint of something devilish. He whispers something to Deb, and she laughs at him and kisses him back. But that's bullshit. Merely a show for the world. I can see he's not going to last long, he's not Deb's type. She can do much better. Debra "Fucking" Morgan is a special kind of woman. I learned that not so long ago. In my bed.

Oh shit, Dexter, would you stop it?

I stand up to get my things out of Angel's back office, as if only to move myself away from these thoughts and Deb and her boyfriend and in the distance I see Quinn and Jaime coming over, Quinn whispering something to Angel, and both of them taking their phones out. Jaime happily joins us, and Harrison screams and runs toward her.

"What happened with your day off?" I ask her, stunned by Harrison's reactions. How can he be psychopath, when he's this emotional? Something doesn't fit here.

"Oh, I couldn't spend a day without my favorite boy." She kisses Harrison on the cheek and he giggles, spinning around her. "Where were you going?"

"I just have to get something out of the office, I'll be there in the minute." I answer, and get there to retrieve my bag and laptop.

As I walk around the office, I hear the door closing, and there is Jacob, holding a beer and smiling friendly at me.

"Hey there champ. Haven't seen you awhile…" he offers lightly.

"You saw me five minutes ago." I answer, not digging into his proposal to have common chit chat.

"Oh that…You know what I meant." He scratches, looking confused. "Well, I noticed you came here."

"What, Jacob?" I impatiently growl. My fists clench in my pockets, and red starts to creep in front of my eyes, blurring my vision. He is really aggravating.

"You have something against me." He says, his face changing. " You don't want me around Deb."

"Deb is a big girl. She can handle herself."

"I know what she's capable off. I'm more interested in why you don't like me. "

"I didn't say that I don't like you." My left hand nervously pads over the Angel's desk.

"But you don't." He insists.

Masks are pretty difficult to bear at certain times. They feel more uncomfortable than they should, and the easiest, although not the smartest thing is to sometimes let them slip.

"No, I don't." I answers, truthfully, picking up my laptop, and doing my best to ignore Elway.

"Why? Did I do something?" He insists.

"No, I just don't like you. That's all."

Silence, finally. His voice was really getting on my nerves.

I move toward the door, but some force throws me against the wood and now I'm face to face with Jacob Elway, his hand on my left shoulder, and other one right in front of my face.

"Listen to me, you fuckwad." He hisses like snake, his heated breath on my face " I tried my best to be good friends with you. I did that because I pretty much care about your sister and I want her happy. But I'm not going to be another Quinn, do you understand me? I know how you fucked their relationship and I know how a possessive piece of shit you are when it comes to her, but mark my fucking words._ Don't fuck with me_, or I'll fuck you back in a ways you couldn't imagine."

I wager my options. My laptop is in my right hand, and my pocket knife is around my ankle. There is also large fishing knife approximately one meter behind Elway and if I hit him with my computer, or push him off, it'll take roughly three seconds to slit his fucking throat.

And I'll leave beautiful, much desired read stain on Angel's new carpet, but I think the carpet won't be the first problem on Angel's mind.

Elway's anger reminds me of Miguel Prado, and I'm more than willing to give him the same ending. Knife, throat, knife, throat...

But, instead of that I remain still and silent. I want to know _everything _about this man. I want to know how exactly did he manage to fool me so colossally into thinking he's a good guy.

"Do you know that I knew Doakes very well? He was a good man. Fucked up majorly, but overly good. And I remember when he hit you in front of the entire station. My friends from Miami Metro told me everything about it. It was scandal that shook MMPD for a long time. Don't think you fooled me for one second. I know Maria Laguerta was royal pain in the ass, but she wasn't stupid, Dexter. Back off, or bad shit is going to find you. You stay away from me, and I'll stay away from you. "He continues, his face red, but his pulse steady. This man is not afraid of me at all.

"Take your fucking hands of me." I quietly say.

He backs off a little, but he is still close enough. I can see the handle of his gun sticking out of his belt, the gun that _wasn't _there when he was with Deb and my kids.

I straighten my shirt, and slowly collect myself before continuing. "Are you accusing me of something, Jacob?" My words dangerously flow. Another image of Elway with blood pouring out of his throat comes up, but I shake it away. " I was Laguerta's best man. And I was her friend. But she lost her sanity, and that's the reason why she's dead. So don't fucking mention that. And regarding Doakes, he was the Bay Harbor Butcher, so he wasn't such a good man, as you say. He was a killer. "

"It's interesting how your enemies always turn out to be bad guys. " He comments quickly. It's obvious he's not buying my charade. And that's not good news for him. " You always get it your way. Debra is the only one that can stand up to you. That's one of the reasons why I admire her so much."

"You're a manipulator. You don't deserve her. "I tilt my head watching him sharply. " You see, Jacob, she is very precious to me. I strongly advise you to be very careful when it comes to her."

" Or you… Right? To her or _you._ Or I might end up just like Doakes or Maria did." He laughs, but his eyes are dead. " Rudy Cooper. James Doakes. Lila West. Miguel Prado. Jordan Chase. Maria Laguerta. Hannah McKay. All of them were closely connected to you. Some of them are dead, some of them are killers. And don't forget the most important." He inhales before continuing. " Rita Morgan. She was killed by the man you and your team hunted. But he didn't hurt Debra. Or Angel, or Quinn or Maria, he killed _your _wife. Why?"

I think I had it enough. I grab him by his collar when cold barrel of his gun ends against my stomach and for a second I don't care what he might do to me. All I want is to drain that life out of his fucking eyes.

"Careful, Dexter. Careful." He warns. " Don't make any rash decisions."

"You don't get to mention my wife." I growl.

"Listen to me. " He says, his voice all business. " I don't care about what you did or didn't do. I care about Deb. And I want her safe. I'm ready to turn blind eye when it comes to you, because I know there is something seriously wrong with you. I don't know what, and frankly I don't give flying fuck. Stay away from me, stay away from Deb and it's all gonna be alright."

"She is my sister. And you're liar. You _used_ me to get to her." I accuse him.

"You were a valuable source of information, I admit. " His voice grows even more confident. I let him go, and he returns his gun to the belt. He wipes the stray of his hair from forehead and puffs before continuing. "But my intentions toward Deb are the purest ones, I assure you."

"I don't trust you." I quickly answer, my voice chilling.

"It doesn't matter anyway. It's important that _Debra _trusts me. I did my little research on you because I'm smarter than Joseph Quinn was, and because I really fucking like Debra. I gave you the chance. I offered my peace. And you declined. Now I'm telling you that you shouldn't fuck with me, and I'm giving you my peace offer once again. The one and only thing I want is Debra to be happy."

"Happy with you." I correct him sarcastically.

"Why not? I gave her a job when she needed it. I gave her support every single time. I'm doing my best to boost her confidence, because I know she is someone you won't so easily meet twice in our life. I even tried to make truce between the two of you, or did you forget that?" He bitterly speaks, counting with his finger every single thing he just said. " Now I'm beginning to think she is much better as far away from you as she can be and I don't blame her for being the mess. You're a jerk, very disturbing one. And I want my girlfriend safe."

"She doesn't need protection from me!" I snap at him. " I love her."

"Yes, she does. The only reason why I'm not onto your ass right now, when I know _for sure _that you're one sick fuck, is because you're the most important person to her. Be thankful that Debra Morgan loves you so much. Otherwise, you would be in very big trouble." Elway passes by me and grabs the handle. "You are the one that doesn't deserve her." He is not looking at me, but I know there is one of his soft looks on his face. He is already preparing to slip back into the role of gentle boyfriend and funny and charming rich guy. But the role that suits him the most is the one he showed me right now. Deep down he is cop with very good instincts. No wonder him and James Doakes got along. They both bleed blue.

* * *

Deb is ghostly pale when we emerge out of the bar. Angel is sitting next to her, and both him and Quinn are joking about something. Elway immediately goes and hugs her, finding some lame excuse to leave us. He looks calm, but his shaky fingers give him away. We're not done yet, Jake my friend.

"Don't look so troubled." Quinn punches Deb in a shoulder." We're close to her. She can't be too far away."

"If that was her at all." Deb says insecurely.

"Yeah, well, very stupid move on her part if it was. Coming to Miami, seriously? I don't give shit about her motives, it will be nice to finally get her. And since you were her arresting officer I wanted to inform you. " He turns around, watching if Elway left. "Anyway, your boss, err, boyfriend, he… doesn't suspect anything? I mean, about your dilemma?" Quinn asks, and then he sees that I'm listening.

She shoots him an annoyed look and he falls silent.

"What are these two up to?" I ask Angel, sipping my beer slowly.

"Hannah McKay is back in town." Batista announces in his triumphal style. " Some woman recognized her while she was buying something. It was her old customer, I think. Anyway, we should be getting surveillance photos from a nearby building, and we'll try to determinate in which direction she left. "

"Oh." That's all I say. Good luck with that, I'm pretty sure you won't find anything.

But, fuck, we have to move fast, Hannah.

"Shit, Dex, I know she was your girlfriend, and you thought she was the one, but… You know, the law is the law. I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings in any way." He offers sympathetically.

"Oh no, no way. I'm cool." I nod, giving him my best reassuring smile." We have to do… what we have to do. Right?" I shrug my shoulders, appearing indifferent.

In the corner of my vision I see Deb closing her eyes briefly, and then slowly exhaling.

"Deb, are you alright?" Quinn asks worried.

"I'm fine." She weakly answers. " It must be the heat. It's fucking hell outside. "None of them, except me, registers panic that's crossed her features.

My phone rings and I see it's Evelyn. I hung up on her, and text message comes.

"_I got another gift. It waited for me in my kitchen."_

Great. This should be great. I fixed cameras inside her house and we should get at least one clue who this person is. Maybe I can cross off one problem of my increasingly long list of problems.

Astor's sudden scream startles us all, and I hear when she yells at Harrison.

Both Jaime and I get up, and come closer.

"It's nothing. He cut me accidentally with something. It's nothing." She assures us. Jaime picks crying Harrison of the sand and calls out for me.

But the only thing I can do is to stare at Astor's cheek, where my son left a shallow cut.

* * *

Hannah McKay was not scared when the phone call regarding her treacherous current position comes. It was just a question of time when she'll have to move again. The most important part is that she doesn't question Dexter's loyalty anymore, and for one second she entertains to throw away the weapon she had in her arms, the weapon against Debra Morgan. But her careful nature says she should be patient, so she keeps her treasure along with her money and passports.

She paved her path in previous days, inserting the idea of Argentina in Dexter's head, and she is almost sure he'll follow. There is no need to do something drastic. Debra, on the other hand, is what worries her. Whenever he mentions her, it looks like he gets more and more nervous and she usually has to stop him from talking. There is something he is not telling her, some piece of puzzle that she keeps missing, and she doesn't like it.

There is also Harrison, once again. Dexter's worries about his son's potential tendencies are somehow put to rest after he consulted his friend, Dr. Vogel, but it's not enough. Hannah knows better than to think that he won't be super sensitive to any sign of abnormal behavior that Harrison might show.

But she managed to convince him that what Harrison really needs is a _mother_.

He needs a mother that would love him like he's her own. Naturally she didn't tell him she should be his mother, but the choice is pretty narrowed when it comes to that. It's either her or…well, her. Dexter listened pretty careful, and he was lost in his thoughts for few moments, and she knew it was wise decision to let him contemplate about that.

Hannah takes her time to watch her masterpiece for a hundredth time. Three passports are on the bed, and all of her money. Although she is a wanted person once again, she's sure she can escape this. With the man she loves and his child. Their child.

Family Anders. That's what they'll be, at least for the short while. John, Kirsten and Harry Anders.

"Kirsten Anders" she mutters. She loves the name; she should keep it. And it was thoughtful of her to pick the name "Harry" for Harrison. These two names are pretty close to each other, and it shouldn't be problem for Harrison to get used to it.

Suddenly, someone knocks on the door, and she gently smiles when she hears Dexter's voice.

He comes in and kisses her hungrily on the lips, closing the door behind him.

* * *

Dr Evelyn Vogel is disturbed because Dexter is late for their meeting. She paces through the living room, and puts on Mama Cass' record, trying to calm herself. She thinks of Richard and his Theodora and how it all could've been different. She thinks about her long lost nephew and how she can't forgive herself for what happened to him. When he disappeared from the hospital, she spent years trying to find him, before she finally gave up.

Daniel was gone.

Her life has been pretty much secretive and even though she was a famous author, no one could imagine how much trauma she experienced.

Evelyn had no children, and her brother and his wife died when some people got in their house and robbed them, so she raised Daniel like her own. Poor child watched their parents die at age 5. But from the very beginning, even before the tragedy she knew he was different. He rarely smiled, and his imaginary friends were, without any doubt, very dark figures. He was simply born that way. Watching Hans and Olga die was the last straw. When Olga's older sister Helen offered to take Daniel with her, Evelyn didn't protest too much. But then Helen started moving around the Europe, dragging Daniel with her. He, on the other hand, quickly learned many languages and appeared as highly intelligent child.

And then one violent episode destroyed all their illusions about him being just a weird kid.

Evelyn sighs, trying to shake off these thoughts. But they are pretty persistent, she learned that a long time ago. Her memories haunt her often, and she is afraid of speaking about them aloud because she has the feeling that her demons will come to life, and she won't be able to sleep ever again.

She checks her clock, and her thoughts wander back to Daniel. How difficult it must've been to him to live in different countries, to learn different languages, she wonders. He never complained when she took him to England with her. Even Richard loved the kid, although Daniel never seemed to have any interest to communicate with him. Only Evelyn had some sort of power, yet evaporated in few years. And then, the only solution left was to lock him up in an institution.

And that's when the worst memories come.

Most of all, she still remembers phone call she received from the hospital on one rainy night. She was informed that Daniel robbed the doctor and killed him brutally, practically snapping his spine in two, and then stabbing him multiple times.

It was the hardest night of her life.

Even when Richard insisted to move to France, she couldn't because she kept waiting for her lost son to return. And he never did.

She sips brandy in her glass, and absently drinks alcohol, when her eyes fall on the piece of brain left on her table.

And something tells her she should start to get very, _very _afraid.

* * *

After my visit to Hannah, I come to see a very disturbed Vogel, and we re-watch tapes of her house. There is not much, of course, just a dark, tall figure dressed in black, wandering around, touching her things randomly and then finally leaving her present and then disappearing. Not a single shot of his car, nothing. He most probably parked within walking distance, but I'm pretty sure that even if I got a good look at the vehicle, it wouldn't help much. This guy is good. And bold.

My suggestion to leave to a hotel at first is dismissed, but Evelyn is a smart woman. She knows that this means rising stakes, and that this killer is not joking. He left four bodies last time, so his game has been improving. I'm only wondering why we haven't found the body yet.

Tired of this crazy day I leave and go to my apartment, crawling to bed and thinking about Hannah's offer. New life. With her and my son.

In Argentina.

Far away from this place, from everything bad.

"_You can't escape your darkness, Dexter."_ Harry tries to remind me. He watches the orchid and seems to think about some idea. " Hannah… As a mother to Harrison. Can you imagine that?"

"In matter of fact, yes."

"_But, it wasn't her you had in mind when she mentioned that part about Harrison having a mother that would love him like he was her own, right?"_

"No." I admit hesitantly " No, it wasn't."

He nods, processing some thoughts. After awhile he changes his posture to very worried, and I know something tough is coming.

"_Tell me. Do you ever wonder why I came back so suddenly? Do you know why I left at all? Why Brian appeared at all? "_

"I was in very dark place, that's why." I answer, annoyed. He should know better, he is inside my head. "But I'm better now."

"_No. You're not better, son. You just think you are. It's not something on conscious level, Dex. I mean, me leaving and Brian coming to torment you."_

" I know it's not..Listen, Dad, it was pretty long day, I'm tired and I have a lot going on."

"_Where would you usually be in this time of night?"_

"Stalking someone." I answer.

"_Exactly. When was the last time you stalked someone? When was the last time you vetted someone?"_

"I have a pretty crowded schedule ." I reply sarcastically " With Astor and Harrison, and Hannah. And Vogel on my back. And the most important of all, my new prey. The Brain Surgeon. My latest project. "

"_Being busy never stopped you before . And it was none of them that was enough earlier. What happened in the meantime? When did I come back?'_

"After that incident with Deb, but.."I try to say, but he interrupts me.

"_That's right. After what happened with Deb. That" incident", if you choose to name it that way."_

"Would you prefer if I tell you I fucked your daughter? Would that be proper thing to say, Harry?" I snap at him in gesture of white hot anger.

_"But you did do that. That's the point." _ He sadly points out at the truth I avoided. "_And when you saw her today, you felt nervous."_

"Of course I was nervous, I haven't seen her since then." I grimly say, hoping he'll just drop the subject. I can't think about Deb right now, not when there is too much going on around me.

"_It has nothing to do with "too much things around you", Dexter. " _His hard look surprises me. I haven't seen him that way for years." _ It has everything to do with you being afraid to confront her after that. Because you know that what happened between the two of you should never happen between two normal siblings. And the two of you have never, ever been normal. She was always the one and only person that could stir emotions inside you. So what do you feel now? Say it out aloud!"_

"Anger." What else? What else did I felt? How do I define these things, these, so called "emotions"? "I feel anger. For not being around her. For Elway touching her. And I feel hurt because she sees me as a monster. And I regret for putting her through this much pain." Words flow easily, and I hurry up to continue, before I lose this clarity.. " And then there is relief, knowing that there is something that fills me up more than killing. "

"_If you had a chance would you do that again? Would you be with her again?"_

"No!" I shout at him. But he looks at me like I offended him somehow. And I know what he means. Saying untruths and half truths to him is in vain. He knows what I'm thinking. He is a product of my thoughts.

"_You've been doing good. You admitted your feelings. Spill it out. Everything."_ His tone sounds firm and gentle at the same time.

"Yes!" I respond exhaustedly.

"_Yes, what?"_

"Yes, I would to that again with her." I cover my eyes, defeated. This was not needed tonight. Why did he had to press me this way tonight? I just want some rest. With Harrison giving me one more reason to suspect something's wrong with him, with Vogel asking my help to solve something I used to be good at, with my job, with Hannah giving me the way out of all of this, I just _can't deal with the Debra issue right now._

"_Debra issue?" _Harry laughs, and sits in front of me, his voice only above whisper. " _You just admitted you felt five different emotions. __**Emotions, **__Dex. Something you thought you'll never, ever have. And not so long ago, too. It was the regret you felt when you saw her crying that brought me back. It was what you felt when you slept with her that stopped the killer inside you for this long."_

"I think I counted four of them" I try to wiggle my way out of uncomfortable conversation, gasping at technicalities.

"_Five." _He informed me." _It's five. You mentioned anger twice. But it was "jealousy " that was correct term in one of these two cases. When you saw her with Elway. That's what' s called "jealousy". You felt it to the certain degree when Elliot kissed your wife. So Debra is not an "issue", Dexter. She is very powerful force that drives you. "_

I have to talk to her. I have to see her.

"_What will you say to her?"_

"I don't know. But it can't stay this way. I can't just leave like this. Life without her, it's not something I want."

"_And yet you will leave to Argentina."_

"I'll call, I'll write."

"_Don't be naïve, Dex. Once you leave, it's all over. "_

* * *

Eric Watson walks through his old, familiar club. "Romero's" and he is looking for new girl to pick up. He is man of habits and the only place he actually enjoys is here. In this place there are so many criminals already that he looks normal and uninteresting to everyone, except for the occasional hooker he picks up.

He likes to fuck them hard, and squeeze their throats, and just before he finishes he imagines cutting them up. He never actually killed any of them from this bar, since it would draw attention to this place, and he's not so eager to give it up.

Tonight he follows one girl that reminds him of Matilda. Sweet Matilda, she was so surprised when he pointed his gun at her and made her commit suicide. She somehow started suspecting, or so he thought, so he had to get rid of her fast, and it was perfect timing anyway. He was growing increasingly tired of her, and her depression was a fantastic way out of this mess.

And of course there was his meeting with Dexter Morgan, once again.

He considered Dexter smart, but he managed to play him masterfully anyway, so that disappointed him a little. His opponent seem oblivious to what's going on. Maybe that's a good thing. He could keep his game with his treacherous, fake mother, she deserved to be really scared.

And Dexter has a son. And a sister. And some hot blondie he noticed when he followed him few times.

This is going to be an easy game. He could kill them all right now, but he won't, not yet. This is amusing for him and he likes toying with his victims before he finishes them off.

Not that Evelyn Vogel (or Dexter Morgan, as a matter of fact ) could be considered as a victims.

* * *

Elway is touching her once again, his hands all over her body, but she tells him she is tired, as usual, and she walks away from him once again. Getting out of his house, getting anywhere from him, and herself. While she picks her jacket and gives one last look to the steaks and potatoes he cooked for her, she briefly wonders about what it would be like to let him take care of her. He is a good person, just like Joseph, and she knows for a fact that she could use someone decent and good in her life for a change.

Walking down to her car she suddenly feels very weak and she has to support herself on the nearby fence to keep herself from falling. For a second, a terrible thought goes trough her head. Did Hannah somehow poison her once again? She laughs at how ridiculous that idea is. Paranoia is really getting the best of her.

Steadying her walk she gets in drivers seat and puts her hands on the vehicle, caressing the soft leather. Suddenly she can feel Dexter's hands on her, touching her this way and Deb curses loudly, feeling guilty. How could she have slept with him? After everything that happened between them, after him being the biggest jerk in the world, she spread her legs to him? Mothershitting fucking fuck, she is really ready for some serious psychiatric help.

She laughs again. Yeah, fuck, she saw how well it went with her psychiatrist the last time she had one. Realizing she is in love with her foster brother, at the time she thought it was the craziest of all the fucks she had in her life. Boy, was she wrong.

It's interesting thing, when she bothers to analyzes her situation. Although what happened broke her in new ways, she's not drinking since then. She's not drugging herself. She wants to preserve every single piece of memory of their night together. That is how much she enjoyed his hands on her. Because, truth be told, it was the best sex she ever had.

The only thing she wants is to forget who was the one fucking her.

But that's very difficult, it seems.

She noticed it, they way he looks her now. There is some fire in his eyes, and she could almost confuse it with lust if she didn't knew that he did what he did just to fuck with her head. And also, there is that stare he gives to Elway. If she didn't knew better she would say that Dexter is more than jealous.

But he is not. He is not in love with her. And most of the time she wonders if he ever loved her. Sure thing, killing Brian was the biggest sacrifice she could imagine, but what if her father's training made him do that? What if their entire lives have been lies? Not so long ago she would've said he really loves her. But now, she is far away from those thoughts. Because, she knows he's seeing with Hannah. His reaction to news about Hannah being spotted gave him straight away.

He is seeing Hannah and yet he fucked _her_.

What the fuck?

Something is wrong there. Something doesn't add up in that shitty equation. Why would he go through all of that trouble just to keep her by his side? It's extreme even for him, and yet he did it. Well, "extreme" is not something he's afraid off, but still…when it comes to her, he was never this way. And then, again, she has never seen him this desperate. She noticed that, too. Dexter seems on verge for very long time now.

She wonders how many people he killed in the meantime.

She wonders does Hannah suck his dick right now, and that thought makes her almost throw up again.

She wonders if he knows how passionately he kissed her. How much emotions was behind those kisses.

She has to know what it meant to him. Even if she is afraid of the answer.

* * *

Next morning is a fucking mess in the department, everyone's been buzzing around and I don't know what's all of this about. Frankly, I'm so tired that I'm sure I don't even want to know. Angel calls out to meet me in the office, and just when I see Masuka coming to see me, I dodge him and run off to Angel's. And I'm glad, since I'm not in the mood for one more witty joke about his now ex-girlfriend.

"Dexter." Angel says, his tone serious. "We need to talk, my friend."

I put down box of doughnuts, and take one of them for myself. "Francesco, you're loosing your touch." I think to myself as I put it down, irritated by sugar falling all over me. I might need another shirt.

"We confirmed it's Hannah McKay. The woman that witness saw."

And once gain, I'm rather eloquent. "Oh"

"I'm afraid so. But don't worry, I don't think Deb's in danger, if that's what you're thinking. I spoke to her and she is very near her decision to leave to Chicago so…"

"What?!" I ask, stupefied. "What does my sister have to do with Chicago?"

"You don't know…? How's that possible? I don't get it.", his face says "Oh shit" but he swallows it like a champ. He leans forward, as if somebody could hear us. "She got a job offer. To return here. That is, I gave her that offer. And one of my colleagues, LT Mayers from Chicago is very interested in her. We talked over the phone last week, he said if I don't get her back, he will offer her a place over there. Mike Anderson spoke pretty highly about her there. So it's dead race between Mayers and me. I don't know why Deb seems so eager to leave, I just don't get it. This is her home."

Angel gets up when one officer come in uninvited and asks him something, and much to my surprise, raises his tone and tells him to go ask Captain Matthews that.

I'm amazed how much he changed since he got Deb's position.

"Can you believe this? He came in without knocking!" He throws his hands in frustration.

"Err..he did knock." I correct him, smiling." I heard him."

"Oh" his turn to be eloquent." I must be losing my hearing, then"

"It comes with the age." I poke him.

Debra wants to leave to Chicago.

I'm not stupid, I know what she really wants is to leave _me._

"_What's wrong, Dex? You are so determined to go to Argentina, but it bothers you that she wants to move on with her life.", _Harry asks, his eyebrows raised in slight amusement. "_At least this makes it easier for you."_

"But without telling me!" I can't believe this. " Dad, this is not in my plans."

"Your _plans?"_He gives me funny look." Y_ou can plan to leave with the person that tried to kill her. But she can't plan to find another, most probably better place to live. Miami is too much for Deb right now… No need to remind you why."_

"Earth to Dexter." Angel snaps his fingers in front of me. "Seriously, you didn't know that Deb was on the verge of quitting her job with Elway? What's wrong with the two of you?"

"We have some… disagreements right now. "I stumble on my own words ." But we'll work it out." I add quickly, trying to convince him. Trying to convince myself." Anyway, is that what she and Quinn have been talking about yesterday?"

"Yes. But she had to be careful because Elway was around. I don't think he would receive that nicely."

"Why not?"I ask curiously.

"Elway is known as fantastic friend. He's a really great guy, Dex. " Angel sighs. " But he's not exactly known for being the most forgiving guy, you know…" He tries to find right words. " Ah fuck it… Rumor has it that he threw his ex out of his house in the middle of the night and left her on the street. Her wallet was inside house, so she had to sleep at her friend's house. When she returned the next day, all of her things were scattered across the street, and can you believe it, people were picking them up and taking them… well, she was very rich bitch, and a bitch in a real sense of the word, but anyway… I can't imagine doing something like that. To anyone. No matter what."

Quinn walks behind the office, on his way out, and I get up and excuse myself, just when that officer lets himself in Batista's office once again, informing that Matthews has the day off, and Angel keeps his anger at bay this time and invites him in.

"Quinn" I call out to him. He stops and turns around, his face unreadable.

"Hey Dex. " He says. Funny thing, he's not hostile to me.

"I wanted to talk to you. You have a minute?" I ask him.

He nods. Once we're in the hallway, he starts to speak first.

"I wanted to apologize… For everything I said recently. You're great boss to Jaime and she really loves both you and Harrison.

Now I'm caught off guard. Quinn apologizing to me was the last thing I suspected, ever.

"Dex, she told me about that scholarship you arranged for her. She also said you found her a potential job, the one she so desperately wanted. She's going to graduate in two weeks, so I know how much it means to her."

"Well, yes, she expressed her desire to continue with her education. And she'll need money for that, naturally." I point out the obvious. Oh and I will be moving soon enough, and I owe Jaime a fortune for being the most flexible nanny and allowing me to continue with my night activities, but hey. If you want to believe I'm a great guy, that's fine with me.

"Yes, but what you did…That was very nice gesture. And I appreciate that." He smiles at me. " Your good boss. Much better than I gave you credit for."

"I'm not that much of a brother." I suddenly say. It must be something in my eyes that gives me away, but Quinn sees I'm honest with him.

"You found out about Deb's job." He declares confidently.

"Angel slipped it up accidentally." I confirm his suspicions.

'Shit" he mutters under his breath. " Deb didn't want you to know until she was sure. Which is weird." He presses further, trying to show he's on my side." Since I know how close the two of you have been your entire life."

I turn my lips upwards in sudden sadness. Nothing is the same anymore.

I used to hate my masks. Now I wish could have them back. I wish I could have my "fake" life back, with steaks and beers and Deb cursing profoundly and bitching about Masuka's jokes. I wish I could have to look at her every morning I come here in Miami Metro, and I wish I could have her playing with Harrison every night. And Sundays at the boat and days off on the beach with hers…no, our friends. Because somewhere, along the way Jaime, Angel and Masuka, and even Quinn to some degree have became what I would call "friends". Well, Quinn is certainly not a big fan of mine, and his feelings are mutual, but he does love Deb. And I respect him for that.

I turn around to see my colleagues around me. Room echoes with their voices and I remember how much time I spent here.

And it's all going to end soon. Very soon.

"_You have Hannah now."_ Harry reminds me. _"She's your family now, Dex. Don't look at me like that, it wasn't my idea. It was yours."_

Is she really worth it? Is any of this worth it?

Quinn places hesitantly places his hand on my shoulder.

" Dex…Are you okay?" He asks.

"I'm fine" I answer. But I'm not. There is something tight in my chest. Is it possible that I'm becoming human in full capacity? Because I believe it would be very human thing to feel this way. "I'm just bit… nostalgic." I taste the word in my mouth, considering if it was right one. Yes, it is. I am nostalgic.

Great. One more annoying emotion. Why did I ever want to be human?

" I know what you mean." He misses my point entirely, but still, it's nice that he's trying so hard to be good to me." It's not the same since she's not here. Yeah, I laughed few days ago, when I remembered Deb hiding from Laguerta around here with Lundy. I don't know, it just crossed my mind. Masuka and I had had good laugh about it."

" Yeah, I remember that one too." I smile. "I found them in my lab, sitting on the floor. And Laguerta came by. She knew they were there all the time, but she pretended that she didn't. Ha, Deb's face when she saw her was priceless."

" And now they're all gone. All three of them." He adds, and corrects himself. "Well, I've been doing my best to return the only one that could be returned to this place. Listen. I know the two of us had a lot of disagreement in past. But I'm thankful for some of the things you did for me. And I respect you as the best boss Jaime could have, and as my best friend's brother."

"Best friend?" I look him square in the eye. The way his voice trembled just screamed lie.

"Look Dex, what I feel for Debra is beyond friendly affection and I'm not going to pretend it's any different. And I know very well that she was the right one. And I know it's not fair to Jaime for me to hang out with Deb. But I care about Jaime, too. And I'm not stupid. I know Deb's in love with someone else. Elway is dead wrong for thinking he's got her. He's not. I know her well enough to know when one should walk away. But I want only the best for Deb, and if she can only give me her friendship, I'm fine with that."

How can he do that? How can he be so unselfish? How can he please himself with only being around her? Is that what love is? Learning when you have to let go?

"_I thought you were sure what love is… I thought Hannah taught you that, Dex." _Harry says gently. Why is he so insistent to talk about Hannah?

"Thank you for being good friend to her, Quinn. She needs one right now."

"Well, I hope she'll be my partner soon enough. I'm trying to convince her that coming back here is the best choice she can make. But she seems pretty reluctant. I guess she thinks she owes too much to Elway. On the other hand that offer from Chicago, I don't quite get it why she's so eager to leave."

I respond innocently enough "I can't think of one reason why would she do that. "

Actually, I can think of dozens of them.

* * *

Angel hangs up his phone, giving up on trying to reach his boss, and he sighs as he signs something that shouldn't be his to sign at all. But sometimes decisions have to be quickly made, so he does what he has to. Well, at least officer Paige won't bother him anymore.

He gets up and sees Paige coming toward him once again, and Angel suppresses desire to strangle him. He is definitely getting too old for this.

"Sir, we got a crime scene. This one is Doomsday Killers' style."

Angel hates when someone says that. Ever since Travis Marshall paraded through Miami with his odd sense of art, every spectacular murder would be referred to as one of "Doomsday Killers' installation".

"It's not even "Killers'" for Christ sake. It's "Killer's . Travis Marshall worked alone." Angel mummers in his chin, on the verge of his nerves.

* * *

While we all walk towards the crime scene it's obvious that this is one of those days one would wish to have a day off. Flies buzz everywhere, and even from far away I can see the guy's skull is open and I sigh, knowing this one goes on my soul again, since I've been more than incompetent lately, and I didn't manage to catch the Brain Surgeon in time. The smell of rotten flesh splashes all over us and I watch as Miller goes to great lengths not to throw up. Quinn offers her to sit, but Masuka comments something and she tells them both to fuck off, because she's a big girl.

"Oh I'm glad she mentioned it first. It would be awkward if I pointed out that she put on some weight." Masuka says behind her back, and Angel and Quinn quietly laugh.

I don't share their amusement. I'm fully concentrated on the latest proof of my clumsiness and something makes me wonder.

The man is hanging, tied loosely by his arms between two trees, his black suit ripped the way it would suggest whipping. And then, the most important part of all. His face is _missing. _

"Boy he really went Travis Marshall on this one." Paige jokes, and I hear Batista growl and this time, I laugh for real, not used to this side of my friend but I stop in the middle of it, my thoughts returning to the body in front of us.

It looks spectacular, but personally I think it's far cry from killing four people, one of them being just a boy. What's so special about it?

Miller yelps in surprise. Masuka and Quinn laugh aloud this time, but she ignores them. Her hands hold something and she is speechless for the moment, only her shocked eyes telling us she's not a statue but a living person.

My phone rings.

Angel walks toward Miller.

I absently answer my phone, trying to distinguish what's that in Miller's hands.

Vogel's panicked voice calls my name from the other side.

"I'm on the Brain Surgeon's crime scene, can't talk right now." I try to finish the conversation quickly.

"Dexter I know who's his latest victim!" She says in one breath.

Angel takes the object and says "Dios Mio" so loudly that everything freezes for a second.

It' a badge.

"It's Thomas Matthews." Vogel finally says.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

We're all back at the station, waiting for Angel to finish his press conference. When he walks in, I'm glad to see Deb following him, her face even more pale than before. Faint traces of tears grace cheeks and for one second I wonder if she's going to seek refuge in my hug like she used to. But she appears strong as everyone greet her grimly. Evelyn carefully offers Deb to sit.

"Child, you look like you use some water." She says to Deb. I forgot she knows my sister.

"I'm fuck-" Deb stops herself just in time" I'm fine, thank you. I'm Debra, I used to know Chief Deputy Matthews." She says, extending her hand.

Vogel smiles gently, accepting the offered hand.

"Pleasure is all mine, Debra. " She says warmly, giving me one of the looks, and Deb obviously notices it but says nothing. "I'm Dr Evelyn Vogel. Evelyn, to you."

We all stand in almost complete silence. If I didn't know better, I would say that Matthews was a loved man. But, no, everyone is actually too shocked to talk. After the initial shock passes, I'm sure only few of us will feel something.

Thomas was my father's friend. He was one of few that knew about Harry's past, at least the legal part… So that makes Evelyn an even more important part of my life now, because she's the only person left that knew the real Harry Morgan.

But to Deb, he was something more. He showed great interest in her, and encouraged her to move forward in her career, and the way things ended between them left Deb more than hurt. They never discussed what happened with dead call girl incident that briefly cost Matthews his career, but he told me that he knew it wasn't Deb's fault. Too bad he never said that to her in person.

I come closer to her, and risk one touch on her shoulder. Her eyes meet mine, and I dare to go further, wrapping one protective arm around her. Much to my surprise, she doesn't push me off, either because there are people around us, or because she really wants me to be near her. We're days away from being miles apart forever, and in this moment the only truth is that there is no other place in the world I would rather be right now. Beside her, holding her. It has an entirely new concept right now.

I wonder if she knows any of this.

"Dexter…" she whispers. "Would you come with me for a second? Upstairs."

I follow her to the roof, my hand not leaving her shoulder until we're out of sight and she pushes it away by herself.

She walks few meters away in front of me, and wind blows in her hair and without any reason shivers go through my body. It's not cold, Miami is rarely cold. It must be something else.

Deb turns to face me, her eyes covered in sunglasses, and she puts her hair behind her ear. I push my hands into my pockets, they're trembling right now and it's not something I'm eager to present to Deb. She might be my sister, but vulnerability is not what I easily show to anyone.

"_Bullshit, Dexter. You've been desperate and exposed in front of her many times." _Harry says from behind "_it's sad that after all this time you still manage to fool yourself…" _He imitates my gesture and walks away, watching the town over the edge.

"So, what's the story? Spill that shitting tale out..", she says in famous Deb's manner.

"We found him without his face and with his skull open. That's what the press doesn't know, but I suspect they'll grab ahold of information very soon. "

"Okay, that's the official crap. Now tell me the unofficial one. _Your _version of the story. Yours, and that woman downstairs. The two of you know more, much more." She exhales when I refuse to speak. "I'm not a fucking retard, Dexter. I know you very fucking well and I know when your sorry ass has something up it's sleeve. You may consider me stupid, but from time to time I tend to use my fucking brain."

"I never considered you stupid." I breathe out. "Deb…" My eyes drop to her neck, and then trail down slowly. A flash of her naked skin and her dark nipples dance in my mind and I lick my lips. Concentrate, Dex. Stay focused.

She gives me really strange look, and I push those unwanted thoughts out of my head.

"Don't bother." She quickly says." I want an explanation. My mentor, my father's fucking best friend is laying there, in the morgue and you're trying to make me play fucking "Twenty questions" with you. Well, fuck you Dexter. I want everything, and I want it now!" she screams at me.

Her outburst seem to shake me up enough as I take step back but she follows me. She's so close to me and I'm fighting the urge to touch her lips.

"What did you have to do with his death?" she asks directly, and stares at my face. Just as I'm about to speak, we hear Quinn calling for us.

"Guys, get down. It gets uglier." He says.

How can it possibly get uglier than this?

* * *

Once we're downstairs, I can see Angel arguing with Vogel in his office, holding some papers, but their tones are hushed, and I dare to get in there uninvited. Deb follows me closely, unwavering in her decision to find out what's going on. We come into his office, and Angel shoots me a warning look, but when I look at Vogel, I know the best thing would be to stay here.

"If you insert that as an evidence, my career is done. And that's not something you need right now. This man is dangerous and you'll need all the help you can get to catch him!" she says defensively, pointing at papers. I recognize them, they're her patient's case files.

"Then give me a valid explanation what was this is doing in Thomas's house! Do you know what we call it? A motive! A motive, Dr Vogel!" Angel growls at her. "These procedures are illegal, and this thing alone will be enough for you to lose your license, not to mention you could get few years in jail because of this!" He throws the papers on the table in front of him, files falling with loud smack. "Our Chief Deputy is dead. Your. Friend. Is. Dead." He emphasizes every word, his voice hushed.

"I know…I know he is, and I'm so sorry." She shakes her head, on the verge of tears. Composed Evelyn is lost once again in front of me, and I know I should help her, so I open my mouth to speak in her defense, but I never get a chance.

"Who's patient zero?" Angels asks, sitting down on the chair and turning his monitor so we can see it. I come closer and what I read on the screen sends wave of pure rage through me. Deb leans forward too, and one "Fuck" escapes her lips.

She has acase study_ of me._

_I am_ fucking patient zero.

"That's just research for my new book." She says. "parts of that are pure fiction…"

"Who is this patient?" he presses. "You obviously withheld some important information, and don't even insult me trying to say you didn't know about this. The Brain Surgeon is _your _patient and you knew that from the _very beginning_, so spill it now!"

"It's confidential." She insists.

"Then this record goes public." Both Evelyn and I watch in horror as he picks up the phone, but it's Deb who interferes.

"Stop!" she says, snatching the phone out of his hand. "What does this look like to you? What will it fucking look like in public? Shit, think, Angel."

"It will look like we're doing our best to find whoever killed Thomas Matthews." He answers, truly confused with her reaction.

"Fuck no!" Deb continues, her voice certain. "It will look like the police has one more major scandal coming up right now. It will look like you'll be 'busting your ass trying to explain how your case expert kept this information secret. It will look like this department will have not one, but _three _people down to deal with this serial killer, and you fucking know it. This is fucking chess, Angel, and this guy is kicking your balls down your throat."

She might be the most brilliant person I've ever met.

Angel reluctantly puts the phone down and fascinated says "You sound just like Maria."

She looks like someone slapped her. Angel thinks he offended her, but I know the real reason for her acting that way. Guilt is still eating at her. It doesn't matter that she looks miraculously healed, well, not healed, but better. She's still in pain deep inside.

If I could understand her pain, maybe I could help her. But I don't.

"Maria was good cop. She was a good person, and most of the things she did was in the best interest of this department." Deb says hoarsely. "You should really use some of her tricks. A shitstorm of fuck is heading down this way, and you plan to protect yourself with an umbrella. It won't fucking do ."

He contemplates for few seconds the implications of what she said, and then nods.

"Okay." He says." Okay, we'll do it your way. But…" he looks up to watch her in the eyes "I could really use a competent detective right now."

She stays silent and shakes her head "I can't…"

"I'm not saying you should decide right now, Deb. But I need you." He interrupts her "This institution is under attack, once again. It took months to restore it after Maria's death. I don't know how we'll defend ourselves this time. This blow will hurt for a very long time."

I can see she's listening carefully. It's as clear as day to me that she will give in at the end. She feels responsible for bringing down the department and she'll do whatever she can to redeem herself any way she can. I know her only too well.

"You'll have all my help." she says. "I'm at your service. I'll work with Quinn, he can give me photos of crime scenes and I'll tell you my opinion."

"Welcome back, officer." He smiles.

"That doesn't mean I'm back to Miami Metro.." she hurries to clear the facts when she's about to leave. Ghosts of the past in the office are clearly too much for her right now.

"No, no, it's fine." He says, smiling again. "What I meant is … "Welcome back, detective." And he flashes her his widest smile. Deb returns it this time, and shuts the door behind her, shaking her head.

"As for you, Dr Vogel. This might be your lucky day. I'm giving you the chance. But this is the last one." He turns to Evelyn. We both nod, and on her way out she avoids looking me.

And that's a good call on her side.

* * *

Eric watches as Angel Batista confirms in the press conference that their Chief Deputy is dead, and he smiles to himself. The evidence he planted in Matthews' house will make Miami Metro scurry like mice in a maze.

He packs his things in Matilda's house, last one of them being Mama Cass's record, his favorite. He slowly raises it up, so the edges are lighted by last rays of sun and vivid memories pierce trough his head.

The beam of a gunshot that took his father away.

Red-blue police lights.

Evelyn's, no, his _mama's _reflection in a? bright lake as she gently covers his shoulder and speaks about some lesson from biology. Silver buttons on her white coat sparkling in the cold November sun. His mama will never leave him.

But his mama locked him up. And he did what he did to survive. He ran away, and first time he stalked her she was so close…_so close _ to his blade, but he decided against it.

But now, she found herself new son, a _better_ son. Dexter Morgan lives his life, and has it all. So Dexter is as guilty as his mother.

And they're both going to pay with their lives for all of this.

* * *

Once I'm out of the building, through the crowded parking lot, I see Deb waiting at her car. Reporters are all around her, but she seems to handle them well. Silently I decide to join her and she doesn't seem surprised at all. I realize she's been expecting me. We climb in her car and she pulls off, not saying anything. My phone rings, and I see it's Hannah.

I turn it off.

Angel's frustration over the turn of events of this day reaches it's highest point when Elway calls him. He knows Jacob, and he respects him, but from the moment he hears his voice it's clear that either Deb told him about what happened, or some of invisible ghosts from Miami Metro informed Elway about Angel's pursuit of Deb. It's most probably the later, since he knows that walls have ears around here, and Jacob Elway has many friends left in these building. This man knows everything that happens here.

"I'm sorry for your loss. " Elway automatically says.

"Yeah, well, it's your loss too, you knew him pretty well." Angel rubs his head. " Is there anything I can help you?"

"Hannah McKay." Elway says.

"How do you know…?" Angel starts, but then interrupts himself. Fucking walls with fucking ears. "What about McKay?"

"I might have overheard something about it. And I'm here to offer my help. God knows your not in the best situation right now. With that Brain Surgeon guy, and all of that, I believe you might use me and my resources."

"That's very generous of you. May I ask why are you doing that?" Angel is not buying it.

"You know am I a friend of the police, Batista. Not so long ago, I was one of you."

"What it's in it for you?" Batista insists.

"I give you my resources and you back away from mine." He simply says. "Quid pro quo, Angel. No more bullshit. Debra Morgan is now in my employ, she is a valuable asset and I intend to keep her around here."

"It's Deb's decision, not yours." Angel angrily say, barely holding his composure. "And I assure you that she wouldn't be pleased about what you just said."

"That's why you're not going to say anything. I will help you with McKay, but you leave Deb alone, and we're cool."

"What if she has another job offer?" Batista scoffs. "What will you do about other one?"

"Let me handle Chicago." The confidence in his voice is beyond unnerving.

" No, you let _Debra _handle both me and Chicago. If you really intend to help, let her be the one that'll represent you over here." the LT answers agitated.

"Very well. But when it's over, _it's over. _No more trying to lure her back there. She's the best investigator I have here ." He finally says.

"Don't pretend it's about the job, Elway. It's about you keeping your girlfriend by your side." Angel has finally had it enough.

" Well, you know what they say. Near the heart is always deadly." Elway chuckles.

* * *

Quinn waits 'till Angel's office is empty. Angel has no habit of locking it up, and because it's still crowded, knows better than to think that his friend took Vogel's files with him.

It was Joey who discovered them right there in Matthews' house, and it was him who laid his eyes on patient zero's project first. When he read it, it all sounded awfully familiar and his instincts told him he was onto something.

He isn't the most brilliant cop, but he knows when to listen to this kind of hunch.

Once he's inside the office, he puts the blinds down and his eyes scan the room. When his search turns successful, he folds the papers, and leaves the place, going to the interrogation room, where he'll have some privacy.

He sits in the room and opens the file.

"Hello, Brain Surgeon." He says.

The solution of the puzzle is right here, in these pages, he knows it. He just has to look carefully.

* * *

Deb is frustrated by the TV reporters, that flash their cameras around her and after she repeatedly tells them that she "has no fucking comment", they leave her alone. She sees Dexter getting out of the building and breathes in deeply, afraid of what'll come next, but still firm in her decision to talk to him.

He joins her, and once they're in the car, it's Dexter's turn to sweat. She realizes that and still says nothing, he's left hand slowly tapping his knee. She glances to see that and it makes her satisfied somehow.

An involuntary flash of his strong hands pressing her against bed makes her shiver, but not in the bad way.

And then shame comes to the surface. Maybe she's not ready.

But when will she be ready at all? When, knowing that once it's all over with this Brain Fucker, she'll be on the first flight to Chicago. Away from Miami, from everything that reminds her of what she did, and mostly, away from Dexter.

What about Harrison? That's the only question left. What about Harrison?

They drive to the deserted beach, turns the car off and gets out, quickly moving away from it. The breeze makes her shiver, but she ignores it. She can hear him jog after her to catch up, and she smiles to herself. Dexter is not going to shy away from this. This time she'll have the truth.

But first things first. What happened with Matthews?

Oh fuck. She's been so selfish to resolve her issue with him that she forgot what's the most important. To give justice to the man that spent large part of his life protecting the Morgan family. That brings tears to her eyes, and she feels when Dexter reaches for her chin and holds her up. His concerned eyes make her almost forget what happened between them.

He _fucked _her.

Debra painfully pushes away from him, and sees when his eyes flash with agitation, but it's quickly gone. She still has some sort of power left over him. That makes her feel good.

Crossing her arms and making typical cop standing position she stands a comfortable distance away from him.

"I want the truth. About your involvement with Brain Surgeon. And about that Evelyn fucking psycho whisperer. Is she a killer, too?"

"She's creator of the Code.", he says and she freezes. "The real one."

"Tell me. " Deb says. "Every fucking thing. And do it fast."

I'm done with the shortest version of what happened with Vogel and the Brain Surgeon, but she's so silent that I think she's lost herself somewhere along the way.

"She manipulated dad. " Deb finally says.

"No, she tried to help dad, to help me. I know what you think, and that's the same thing I've been thinking, but it's not that way."

She sits down on the sand, her hands picking it up and letting it slip through her fingers.

"Okay. If you choose to believe it that way, that's fine by me. But…" She looks up to meet my eyes. "It doesn't change the fact that it's your fault just as much as hers that Matthews is gone. What happened with you? How come that this fucker walks around and kills and you still fucking can't find him? You're busy with chopping up some other killers, or what…?"

"I haven't killed for almost a month." I answer, hoping she will give me some credit for that, but then the opposite happens.

"Oh…I know…" she nods, looking away. "Hannah. You're busy with Hannah." When I start to protest, she holds out her hand. "Don't! I don't fucking care. That's your life. But if anything happens to Harrison, I'll kill both of you with my bare fucking hands. You fucking count on that, Dex." She scratches her head and swears once again, shaking her head. "She should do me a favor and finish you off once and for all. As long as you're away, I'm good."

"Good, than you'll be happy to know we're moving to Argentina." I silently say, my stare hard at her.

She looks up, not believing my words. But I do my best and convince her. At first it's not like she's aware of what I'm saying to her. But when she realizes I'm preparing to take Harrison away with me, she finally bursts like a bubble and stands up, grabbing me forcefully around my neck, her soft palms squeezing my throat.

"I'm going to hurt you. I swear to God, Dexter, don't you even think of taking Harrison with your murderous bitch, or I'll…Why, why are you doing this to me?" she asks between enraged and hurt. "Why are you doing this to your son? I know you don't give a fuck about me, but Harrison… Dexter ! Argentina? Hannah?! "

I had enough, and I grab her hands, snatching them away from my neck and drawing her closer, my eyes flashing with anger but my voice calm and collected. If only I was that calm in the inside...

"Chicago. Elway." I whisper. _Why _are _you _doing that?"

It's her turn to defend herself.

"I'll fucking snap your neck if you don't let my arms." She say evenly, and struggles but I keep my hold of her.

"I think we've established that I'm stronger than you are, Deb. You learned that hard way." My chilling voice brings back some sense in her. She's so close and I don't want to let her go.

There it goes again. _That _feeling. I want to push her down and take her clothes off and..

"I've asked you something. Don't play innocent. You want to call on _my _decisions, and yet you do the same." I growl at her.

"I'm not." She shakes her head, sounding oddly defeated.

"Yes, you are. You're with Elway. You want to move to Chicago."

"It's not the same. He never tried to kill you! He is not a danger to me. He's not a danger to Harrison." She says. "And I don't want to leave _with _him. I'll leave alone."

"So you're dead set on that you'll leave?" and then I smile at her, remembering something. I mercilessly push the subject forward. " Elway drew his gun on me. He _is _danger, to you, to me... He's jealous and possessive."

"And you're not?" she asks. "He drew a gun on you? Why?"

_And I am not?_ This catches me off guard.

"Elway is not the best choice you can make. I want only the best for you." I say honestly.

"But the best for me is to fuck me and then leave to fucking Argentina with Hannah?" She finally breaks down. I watch her raw honesty and I drink up in that feeling of being the one that brings her to feel so strongly.

She still cares about me.

"Why would you go to Chicago?" I ignore her question on purpose.

"To run away." She admits, her voice broken. "To run away from you."

"From me." I repeat. "You want me away. So that's what I'm doing. I'm giving you exactly what you want." But I'm seriously starting to doubt that it's what I want.

"But Harrison…!" she tries the different approach.

"Hannah cares about Harrison. She would never hurt him, or me as a matter of fact. I gave her plenty of chances, and trust me when I say that she passed all the tests." I let Deb's hands drop to her sides. Her warmth leaves me instantly, and I'm tempted to touch her once again. I choose not to, simply because I'm not convinced she would want to be touched right now. Especially not what I have in mind. I must not do that. Ever again. Me doing what I did to her that night, me touching her that way… It can't happen.

Even though it's a clear as day I would go for it in a heartbeat, given the chance. At least I can be that frank with myself.

She turns around breathing loudly, and then raises her voice. I fully expect her to start crying. But she doesn't.

"Good." She looks away toward the sea, and then back at me. "Good. You're right. I want you gone. But we'll talk about Harrison leaving with the two of you. I don't care what happens to you, but him.."

"Deb, he's my son. I love him, and I would never let anything happen to him."

"You said those exact things to me." She sadly smiles. " And look where we are. Look where _I _am." She has her point.

"You can't control things. You can't control life, Dex. And you can't control Hannah. She's going to hurt you somehow, but it'll be too late for you to react. And you'll lose someone close to you." It's scary how certain she sounds. "But you're right. I give up. You should leave. You should leave with her."

She starts to walk away but then turns around. I patiently wait for her to finish what she has on her mind. Deb looks at me, her look going from hurt to emotionless. "I'll help you find the Brain Surgeon. But once you do, I really want you out of my life. Don't write. Don't call. Forget about me and let me try to forget you. That's the only thing I want you to do for me."

* * *

Hannah opens her door, and starts to protest at Dexter for not returning her phone call, but when she sees his pale, grave face, she thinks that it's better to stay silent. She lets him in, and when she kisses him he responds so coldly that she for one second she fully believes she's kissing ice or stone.

She impatiently listens to Dexter's ramblings about the day at the station, and thinks of how to convince him to let go of this Brain Surgeon. Dexter is clearly upset over the death of one of the few people left knowing Harry Morgan, and what worries her is that this might be eating at Dexter too much. What if he decides to stay here too long? They don't have much time!

"I think you should drop this one. Just pack your things and we can go away, start a new life away from all of this."

"I can't, I have to catch him!" He bursts out, irritated.

"Dex, this is not random. He choose someone close to _both _you and Evelyn. He most probably knows who you are by now! This is not a random kill. It's planned…" Hannah tries to reason him, but he interrupts her.

"Of course it's not random. Nothing is ever random-" he stops in the middle of sentence.

She sees as he processes "nothing is random" part once again. She knows what it means.

"He took her files from her office, she insisted that I don't install cameras over there. He must've smuggled her files in his bag… But it's not the only thing he touched." His eyes widen. "Nothing is random! How the hell I didn't see that?"

"See what?" She asks confused.

"Records. He touched her Mama Cass records. Fucking Eric Watson, or Oliver Saxon or whatever his fucking name is had them in Matilda's house. That's the fucking connection." He grabs her face and kisses her, without any real fire once again, and she shudders.

"Hannah, I've found Brain Surgeon." He says.

* * *

Once she's made it to her house, Debra barely manages to close the door when the loud sobs wrack her body. She goes to her bedroom, lays down on the same bed she shared with him not so long ago, and she curls up, her thin body shaking. She hears Elway calling her from outside of her door, and she lets him in, wrapping her hands around him and kissing him hungrily. He responds fiercely and it takes only a second before he's on the top of her on her bed, on the bed that _Dexter fucked her on_. She wants to take Dexter _out of her, _to fucking _rip him out._ And Elway is more than eager to leave his marks on her and please her.

* * *

Angel thinks of what to write in his report to the new Captain. After few drinks, and a tons of wasted papers, he decides to omit the part about the files that he and Quinn found in Thomas Matthews' house. At least for now.

* * *

Oliver Saxon packs the last video of Harry Morgan that Vogel ever made, and writes down the address . He turns off the lights in Matilda's house and leaves, dropping the package at the first post office on his way.

* * *

Quinn knocks on Vogel's door and when she answers, he says that they need to talk.

"About what?' Evelyn asks.

"About your patient zero. I think I know who he is." Quinn implores.

"Oh" Vogel says, smiling. There is no way this questionably intelligent cop knows anything. "And who would that be, detective Quinn?"

He gives her terrifying smile, and takes a moment to answer.

"The Bay Harbor Butcher, of course."

* * *

**Thank you once again for your reviews... They mean a world right now.:-) So, please continue...**

**I really hope we'll be graced with, at least, satisfying finale after our suffering this season... **

**Hang on tonight, people!:-)**


	10. Chapter 10

**_Hello, to everyone who managed to survive finale of "Dexter"! I hope you all succeeded to erase what happened in 8x12 out of you're mind, I know I'm still struggling with it, but it's getting better. I'm not going to waste too much time on talking about it, my only comment would be "What the hell was that?" . I'm actually amazed by the mess writers made. It takes real talent for that... I mean, it's "Dexter" and it's logical it won't have happy end, and it's even logical for Deb to die but... seriously? Debra being dumped in the ocean?_**

**_Anyway, my new chapter is up. It took a lot of time to recover after "Remember the Monsters" and sit down and write again, but I think I managed to move past it. Feel free to review it.:-) We all looove reviews, don't we? _**

**_There are few more chapters almost finished already, so I expect to post them in next week or so. Expect some new characters and more of Dex/Deb confrontations, these two are just getting started, actually.:-) Their relationship is fascinating and complicated and has crazy ups and downs so it's real fun to explore it. I just wish season 8 had more of their scenes together...So many secrets and emotions left unexplored is simply unforgivable._**

**__****_ To everyone that kept reading it and reviewing it, I send you one big "thank you" hug.:-) And to my " boot in the ass", S., you're a godsend. A really cool one.:-) _**

**_Enjoy and review, please._**

CHAPTER TEN

Vogel serves Quinn some whisky and sits opposite to him, her notes on Dexter splayed across the table. Quinn is silent and he takes his time to sips the drink and enjoys it's flavor, and when he finishes he looks straight up and smiles.

"So… About the case file." He begins.

"It's fiction." She says convincingly. " I said this to your friend already."

"Angel is one thing. He was too upset back in the office to read this stuff clearly." He says. "But I wasn't. I know you're hiding something big." He shifts in his chair and gives her a square look. "This man here…" he gestures toward the papers, "lives by some sort of Code which provides some kind of twisted justice for killers. He has a sister he, according to you, only thinks he loves. And he talks to you on a regular basis."

Vogel is glad she didn't write everything down. If she did, there would be needed only one look for a remotely intelligent person to realize who's she's talking about.

"At first I thought this was about the Brain Surgeon… But, no it wasn't." He decides on taking an direct approach. "The Brain Surgeon is not killing killers. The only person that ever did that was the Bay Harbor Butcher. And that man has been dead for a very long time. So…" he leans forward, "What…is… all… of… this?"

"A fiction. I've told you. It's just a fiction. Nothing else!" She gives him one reassuring smile. "I've always been fascinated with James Doakes."

"But here it says you talk to him." Quinn says calmly.

"Well, I imagine talking to him. That's the only way I can do it, since he is dead. I want to write a case study of him."

"Patient zero shared his frustration with me over his relationship with his sister. Somehow, he's deluded himself into thinking he has genuine feelings towards her." the cop quotes her. "That doesn't sound to me like it's someone you "imagine" talking to. And James Doakes had _sisters_, not sister. I never met him, but he doesn't sound like that guy from your fairy tale."

"What are you suggesting?" Vogel knows she's walking on the edge right now, but she needs to know where is she with all of this. Her rather complex situation turned even more problematical: with Angel discovering her secrets, Dexter being mad at her for keeping notes on him, and the Brain Surgeon breathing down her neck, this thing could make things far worse. It could be the final nail in her coffin.

"I'm implying your experiments are not past. I'm implying you were connected somehow with the Bay Harbor Butcher and that your fascination with that case inspired you to take one more dangerous step toward creating his copycat, in order to _defend_ yourself against your other former patient, the Brain Surgeon. Are you following me?" Quinn looks like a hunting dog that picked up the scent of his prey and she knew this is not going to be brushed off easily. He was so close to the truth, except for the part where he thought that patient zero is new Bay Harbor Butcher.

There is no "old" or "new" Bay Harbor Butcher. There is only o_ne _of them.

"Dexter.", Vogel suddenly says, interrupting Quinn. She sees him standing behind Quinn, and for a moment she's convinced that all of this is just one breath away from turning to a bloody mess.

When did Dexter let himself in? She didn't lock the door when she let Quinn inside her house…? Why wouldn't Dexter call or knock first? But that one was easy… He most probably saw Quinn's car and wanted to hear for himself what's going on. But that would mean only one thing. He doesn't trust her anymore.

That thought makes Vogel flinch. He's like her son, she can't lose him now. Not now when she thinks she found a replacement for her long lost child.

Quinn is startled when he sees Dexter and his hand instinctively flies to his gun, but stops in a second. Dexter relaxes a bit and shines them one apologetic smile, asking them to forgive him for intruding.

He says he has some thoughts regarding Brain Surgeon and that they have been looking the wrong way all this time. After he mentions Eric Watson, Quinn's eyes shine brighter and he nods remembering who the man is.

"Why do you think this man might be connected with these serial killings? If anything he looks normal and I don't find anything suspicious about him." he says. "And he has an alibi, or did you forget that."

"Sometimes you can look right at the serial killer and think "That's perfectly normal guy." You've worked long enough on the force to know something like that." Dexter cuts him off, looking directly into Quinn's eyes. "His alibi was Matilda. He was sleeping next to her that night when Aidan disappeared. Well, did it ever occur to you that he might've given her something to make her sleep through entire night? "

"That murder did look strange, now didn't it?" Vogel interferes.

* * *

"Yes, almost like… somebody interrupted him…" Quinn trails off, and then his eyes widen. "Oh fuck it! But.. Wait, Dex, why did you wait 'till now to say that?"

"I didn't wait. I didn't think about that," Dexter answers. "It occurred to me just now. And I know that Dr Vogel doesn't sleep till late, so I came here to talk to her about my theory and when I heard voices inside I thought that she's in some sort of trouble. So I came in…"

"He's a real hero." Quinn jokingly says, but undertone of his sentence doesn't go unnoticed by Vogel. On the other hand, Dexter's face doesn't change a bit. He takes a phone and calls for Deb. "You know that your sister got a green light to join us here? Angel said he wants her help and Elway agreed with that." He abruptly stops, when he hears someone answered the phone. "Oh..Elway…That's a surprise. Well, could I talk to Deb..? Yeah, of course… Tell her to check in as soon as she finishes with her shower. Yeah. Thanks." He hangs up. "That was awkward. Elway's at your sister house. Answering her fucking phone." He addresses Dexter.

"Oh." Comes Dexter's short reply.

"I will drive around Eric Watson's neighborhood tonight, just in case. Tomorrow morning I'll tell Batista about this, maybe we'll get a chance to do a tox screen on Matilda and.."

"Good luck with that one, if she really was overdosed with sleeping pills there is a small to none chance you'll find traces after all this time. And you'll need very good reason to exhume her body and most probably you'll need a permission from Watson himself." Dexter reminds him.

"Yeah, well fuck, I'll find something. There has to be something that points to him! If I need to I'll follow him 24/7 but this fucker has to be stopped."Quinn shouts.

"Why are you so invested in this?" Dexter asks genuinely interested.

"Because this case could bring your sister back to force. I told you I'll do anything that's in power to get her back there. Or did you forget that?" Quinn asks. "Maybe I should ask you why are you so devoted to this case, so you have to come in the middle of the night to Dr Vogel's house?"

"Same thing," his colleague answers.

Quinn's phone interrupts them and he cheerfully greets Deb, apologizing for calling that late, and laughs shortly when familiar sounds of Debra cussing travels all the way to both Dexter's and Vogel's ears. The doctor gives Dexter one disturbed look, but he returns her stare coldly, and it makes her feel helpless even more. This is spinning out of her control and it's not going to end well.

* * *

The following few minutes go on in a blur for Evelyn, as Quinn excuses himself, acting like they never had a conversation that Dexter cut short, and soon enough she is sitting opposite of a very angry Dexter. She prepares herself to fight another storm, as he confronts her about the notes she's been keeping about him. She tries to explain that it's simply what she doesit's like she's keeping a patient's file, but he reminds her that he is not one of her patients and that she should stop patronizing him.

"I'm not a ten year old in a desperate need of your and Harry's guidance! What you did with these notes could cost us both if Angel was more intent to find out who that patient zero of yours is. Luckily for us, he was distracted enough not to persist-" He is stopped with Evelyn sighing and giving him an unhappy look.

"I thought you heard what Quinn and I were talking about." She says.

"No I just came in and… Wait. What was he doing here anyway?" Dexter looks puzzled.

"We had luck with Batista. He was disturbed by what happened to Thomas, and there was also your sister, and she did, I must say, a wonderful job to cover you up, but Quinn wasn't fooled a bit. He thinks that not only I might know who the Brains Surgeon is, but that I'm creating another Bay Harbor Butcher. Dexter, he is close." She warns.

He blinks slowly. "Quinn. He put that together?"

"Well, he is persistent to impress Deb, I guess…" Woman turns around and shakes her head in sorrow. " I'm so sorry I got you into this."

"Too late for that now." Dexter shakes his head , his brows furrowed in a frown." Quinn already suspected me once. It might get difficult to dodge him now. I have to act fast. I need to find the Brain Surgeon and get Hannah out of the country as soon as possible. She is also in danger with all of this."

"And now your sister is involved with all of this. This is large mess."

"Deb will be fine. She knows how to take care of herself." Dexter voice grows bitter.

"Dexter, if you suspected that this is Eric Watson, why didn't you keep that off the records? It's going to be much more difficult now when police knows about him. They'll arrest him as soon as they get first proof about him being Brain Surgeon." It's obvious Vogel is confused, but he gives her conspicuous look, and she knows he's up to something.

"Watson moved out of Matilda's house. I went there before coming here. He's disappeared and we could use the police to find him. And I'll be one step ahead of them all of the time. As soon as they locate him I'll make sure if he is the one we're looking for, and I'm going to put him on the table. I have to finish this before I leave."

"You're still dead set on going to Argentina…?" Evelyn asks, her voice betraying that she's obviously displeased with this turn of events.

Dexter visibly hesitates for few seconds and then answers. "Yes."

She's not convinced, though.

* * *

Less then twenty four hours after Thomas Matthews' death, Miami Metro is crowded with FBI and it's a situation that's not very welcomed on either side. Both sides still remember their collaboration on the Bay Harbor Butcher case and the way Frank Lundy went ignored on his theory about the Trinity killer. The feds are also still sour over the fact that Lundy went to Miami Metro for help, and that they seemed like the bad guys at that moment. Special Agent Jonathan Crawford was one of those who turned Lundy down, and now he is in the same station where his old colleague became rather respected.

Angel greets his unwanted guests, still sour from the last press conference he just held, which turned into one giant mess, just as Debra predicted. He sits down at his desk and talks to Crawford just as Deb stops by his office and he sighs in a relief. He knows why she's here; Quinn told him already. Her detective badge is ready at his desk, and he gives her secret smile, letting her know that he welcomes her back.

Deb smiles and glances at Dexter's lab, so she leaves that way, and Angel returns his attention to Crawford. Quinn is waiting in the briefing room for his lieutenant, watching Masuka joke with Deb and Miller and Dexter silently texting someone. Two feds come in and ask something and all five of people turn their heads with so much hostility that it makes feds disappear in a split second. Vogel joins them, sitting next to Dexter, and Joseph smiles at her. Debra turns away from Masuka, a soft look on her face, when she notices something on one of the photos from the crime scenes and she comes closer to take a better look at it.

"I need tons of fucking coffee." She murmurs, and Quinn happily obliges by going to the coffee machine.

"Something interesting?" Dexter comes closer to Debra, and she unwillingly takes step back. In the return she receives such a hurt look that she hasn't seen on him for a very long time.

"I'm not here to hang around with you." She says quietly "What do you want?'

"I'm here to welcome you back. That's all." He says. "No need to withdraw."

"I'm not withdrawing." Deb fires defensively.

"No, you're acting like I'm a goddamn plague." He answers. "People will notice. Now more than ever you have to act normal. There could be someone on to me right now, and I can't risk anything looking suspicious."

"It's all about you, as always." Deb shakes her head, disgust evident in her voice. The way he kisses and touches and his hard efforts to make her come suddenly come to mind and she backs off, embarrassed of her own thoughts. _Okay, it's not always about him. But most of the time, sure._

"Deb please not now." He says in exasperated voice. "It's not about me, it's about you too, but I can't do anything else at the moment to convince you that I do love you and that I do care for your wellbeing. The only thing I can do is to protect you and you're not helping me right now."

Deb's eyes widen and she stays speechless, tucking her hair behind her ear and nervously shifting her weight on the other leg. He said he loves her. It still gets to her.

Manipulative cocksucking jerk.

Masuka calls out for Dexter, irritated because one of the feds accidentally got into a lab so he had to call for a backup. "Hey Dexterous, let's give these feds a lesson about not intruding into our chambers. When they touch my lab it's like they touch my private parts. And I don't like to be touched this way, man. It's gross."

"Great, now every time I get into the lab, I'll think about touching his private parts." Dexter scoffs, and Debra unexpectedly giggles. He gently smiles at her, and gets rewarded with one sad and short turn of her lips upwards, but it quickly disappears as Batista comes into room.

"First off. Detective Morgan, welcome back." He hugs Deb tightly and she kisses him on cheek, fully smiling at him. "We missed you. I know you haven't ruled out Chicago yet, but this is your home and I want you to remember why you loved this place. And hopefully, you'll decide to stay."

She thanks him and quickly shifts attention from herself to the photos on the board. "Let's get to fucking work.", she says.

* * *

I honestly can say I've enjoyed my day. And that's a first time after a very long time that I've got myself to think that things can be somewhat normal. Deb's stare is not so hard anymore, and that gives me some small comfort. Maybe there is hope for us. She takes the badge back, and I'm surprised that Angel had everything already prepared, like he knew this was going to happen. When I asked him how did he figured out this outcome he simply said that it was Elway himself who fucked things up: pressuring Deb and trying to control her was never a good idea. It was just a question of time when this was going to happen, but it surprised him too when Deb called him this morning already and told him she's back.

There were no details about why she made this call, but she mentioned she and Elway had a big fight last night, and knowing Elway, it most probably turned pretty ugly. Angel's satisfied look tells me more than he's willing to share: he is more than pleased that Jacob is out of the picture.

Quinn is working his ass off to prove to Deb that she made a right call, and by the end of the day they produced some leads that I would be happy to know before the police did, but I couldn't stop it anyway. Quinn went through Oliver Saxon's past, and came up with few clues where he could find him, and Deb on the other hand, managed to find out where Saxon and Matilda met. It was club called "Romero" and it was going to be my first stop once I get out of the station.

Hannah texts me that she has moved into different motel, this time under name Laura Morgan. That information somewhat unnerves me, since I don't like to be reminded of my mother, and the way I last saw her, and the implications of Hannah taking the liberty of using my last name doesn't sit right to me. Which is weird since few days ago I was completely okay with that. She also says that she died her hair in red, as her passport picture has a red wig, so I get that she's trying to push me forward with our plans. And I get it, but I'm tired of explaining that I can't leave Vogel like this. And Saxon might follow us, which could end badly.

Astor also calls and says she'll be taking care of Harrison, since Jaime has something to do in next hour, and we share an awkward moment of silence, before I agree. Yes, Astor is big enough, but I can't help but to think that maybe, just maybe Harrison wouldn't kill that animal if it wasn't she that took him out.

Which is ridiculous, of course. Nobody could stop me from killing. Even if Harry kept me locked up, it wouldn't work.

But I need to find some excuse, any excuse…

The rest of the day I do my best to stay away from Quinn, since what he said to Vogel last night wasn't pleasant at all. He is so close and I'm waiting for a moment where everything will start to crumble down on me. After what happened with Maria last year, everything is possible. I need to be prepared.

There could be more innocent blood on my hands soon enough. Quinn's blood.

On my way out of the building Deb stops me. She seems casual, quite the opposite from yesterday, and I ask myself is there any sort of secret plan behind her behavior, but it seems that she's genuinely interested in talking to me.

She walks beside me, and chats about her day and Masuka's new jokes, and I answer her politely but we never look each other in the eyes. She turns around in time to see Quinn exiting a the building and waving at us, smiling gently at Deb. This man truly loves her. If only it could be so easy with me, too.

"Deb…" I begin, intending to stop the small talk. "Elway. You were with him last night. Today you're back on force."

"Yeah, well. He gave me way out. I said I wanted to quit and he backed me up." She obviously lies, but I won't have any of that.

"Yes, because he's such a forgiving person. Now really, what happened?" I ask once again.

"Nothing happened!" her voice grows higher, and now I'm sure something terribly went wrong.

"You're saying that he let one of his best workers leave his agency, and go back to Miami Metro just a _day _later. I guess he kissed you and wished you good luck. And the two of you will most probably have nice a conversation about your day tonight over a dinner. Yes, Deb. I'm that stupid, I believe that." I give her one of my nasty looks. " But naah….It wasn't that way. He was pissed of, right?"

Her lips break into grin. "Royally."

I return her smile. " I knew it."

"Well, yes, what did you expect? I told him I'm quitting his job, and I even offered to stay week or two until he finds a replacement, but he told me to fuck off." she explained, but I already knew that part. "It wasn't pretty. I confronted him about attacking you, and about pressuring Angel, and he had no way out. Actually he sounded surprised about you saying anything at all."

"Yes? He should've seen that coming." I raise my eyebrows. "Way to go, Deb. You got him into bed, and then threw him out of it. Great job. He is going to hate you now. " I chuckle." I'm glad you stood up in my defense, it was about time. I thought you'll never stop hating me."

That wasn't smart a thing to say. I see a flash of something strange in her eyes, and in the split moment realization dawns on me: Debra really has some hidden agenda. It turns out that all this time this web of secrets and lies I made around her didn't leave her untouched. She seems much more at ease when it comes to saying untruths and she is harder to read. But, the pupil still hasn't outgrown the master. I eye her suspiciously, such a drastic change in her demeanor is impossible to go unnoticed. I may be blind when she's around, but that doesn't mean I'm dumb.

On her part, she still masterfully feigns innocence, and does her best to give me a confused look, but behind it I sense she's tensed once again. Clearly she didn't do what she did for me, but I give it a shot anyway. Maybe she'll blurt out her plans if I play it smart.

"No, seriously, now. Why did you do that?" I ask once again lightly.

"I confronted him about threatening you. At first, he denied such a thing, and then he admitted that he was bit harsh last time he saw you."

"Bit harsh? He drew his gun at me." I chuckle with no real humor. Elway wasn't aware how close he was to have his bowls ripped out of him. It would be really nice, bloody picture, painted over Angel's new, expensive carpet.

Batista would've killed me.

"Then I asked him about what the fuck did he say to Angel, and we got into fight. A big one. And it ended with me saying that I love my family the most, and I'll do whatever I have to protect them." The last part seems honest, but I still sense there is something more to it.

"So you did that to protect your family. Me." I smile.

"Yes." She answers a second too late.

Something changes. We carefully examine each other and Deb takes small step back. I'm onto something.

"Deb." Her pupils dilate, and I see that she stops breathing for a second. "What's the real reason you called it off with him?" I ask her, all the playfulness lost in my tone.

"I told you the reason." She says." To protect .."

"No, Deb. " I shake my head stubbornly.

"When I called you upon your decision to be with Hannah, that fucking Hannah that tried to fucking kill me last year, you said I'm no better because I'm with Elway so I called it quits." She tries to explain.

"But you didn't really expect I'll follow your decision and end my relationship with Hannah, right?" I ask, missing the point obviously.

"I didn't expect you'll do that, no." She shakes her head quickly, and I can say she's telling the truth this time. But that still leaves my original question unanswered.

"Then why? You didn't do that for me, you didn't do that for Hannah."

"I told you. You said he represents danger to my family." Debra is still paying dumb, but at least now I know for sure that she hides something. Whatever is on her mind I'll find out, but obviously not now. I have to find a way to catch her off guard.

"Ok, if you don't want to tell me, that's your own decision." I brush the subject off. She visibly relaxes and I turn to open the door for her. This gesture surprises her and she clumsily thanks me and sits in her driver seat before turning awkwardly and changing the topic completely.

"That "Romero" club.. That place where Matilda met that Saxon guy… I have some contacts there. Do you want to check it out with me tonight?"

"Actually, I wanted to ask you to watch over Harrison and Astor. But I could ask Jaime…" I trail off. "I promised Astor that I'll take her to the beach today."

"Why don't we pick them up, and go to the beach, and they can stay in my house for few hours, it'll be enough for us to get to that shithole "Romero" and ask around about Saxon. If he was there recently, we'll find out, trust me." She, she tugs lightly on my sleeve. "Come on. Go to your fucking car, I'll follow you. I'm starving, we could eat with kids."

"Yeah, well, I've gotta do something first. Hey, why don't you go and pick them up, and I'll join you later?" The way I suggest it leaves no question what the real reason for my departure is. I have girlfriend, in a very unfortunate position. Being a fugitive from the law is driving us both crazy.

"Fine, that suits me." Her voice betrays how disappointed she is, since she clearly gets I'll be going to Hannah.

"Okay, so see you later at your place." I say, ignoring her.

* * *

Astor impatiently waits as Deb opens the door with Harrison clutching his arms around her neck and pulling her hair in the process. Deb says "Fudge" and Astor laughs hard.

"Come on, open the door and hurry up while there is still some sun left." She hurries Deb along.

Harrison yells "Sandcastle" for fifth time into her ear and Deb finally manages to come into the house, putting down the small package she found in front of her door, and hurriedly looking for her swimming suit. All the time Harrison refuses to let go of her, and she's actually glad because of that. Knowing how much time she spent without him makes her feel so sorry. If she owes something to Rita, it's to look after her child. The only child Deb will ever have.

Once they're on the beach Astor finally takes Harrison and they both laugh and run into sea, greeting the waves, then running away from them. One of those waves pulls Astor, and she falls on her knees, her brother grabbing her arm protectively and pulling her so she can get up. Debra stays speechless at the sight. Harrison is only four, but sometimes he is like a grown man. He inspects Astor's knees for bruises, and that looks ridiculously funny, but both Deb and Astor suppress their urge to laugh.

"See, we have a doctor here." She announces to Deb.

"I won't be doctor. I don't like them." Her brother says seriously.

"So what are you going to be? " She asks curiously, while Deb listens interested. Not so long ago Harrison only wanted his Lamby and bedtime stories. Now he is taking care of his much older sister, and has his first vision of what's he's going to do when he gets older.

"I wanna be a veterinarian ." He says happily, stumbling through the word to get it our correctly, and succeeding. He gets on his feet, calling out for his imaginary friend elephant. "Dan hurt his leg. I wanna help him. Let's go, Dan. I'll take a look at that thorn."

Deb notices that Astor suddenly went pale, and she questions her about that. When she gets her response, the explanation regarding one particular night when Astor lost her brother, Deb's blood freezes in her veins and she feels so cold and horrified, watching at her nephew, looking so innocent and fragile, and thinking of him killing that animal.

And she gasps, realizing that the cycle is going to continue.

She couldn't save Dexter.

And now Harrison is turning out just like his father.

Is she really too late?

* * *

After the second round of sex Hannah gently strokes Dexter's hair but he seems absent, so she turns her head away and swallows hard.

"I'm losing you." She suddenly says, her voice hurt. Why did she ever think that Dexter could go through with this? But why… why would he give up on her once again, when it all seemed like it's going to be her way? Why is he so reluctant now?

Surprised at her outburst, Dexter turns and grabs her face. "What? No!" and to reassure her, he kisses her softly on lips, but she doesn't return his kiss, instead she gets up, suddenly feeling the cold air in her room, looks through window, and thinks of what to say to him. Hannah McKay was never the one that begged, but he seems to bring that side out of her. The hopelessness that washes over her at times like this brings back unpleasant memories. She keeps dreaming of her first night at detention, and the way she was harassed. She remembers the way her hand trembled when she wrote a confession that sent a the love of her life (or that's what she thought until she met Dexter) to serve the rest of his life in jail.

But she survived that. It scarred her, it broke her in worse ways than her father's constant neglecting did, but she managed to get herself out of it all. A few people lost their lives while she was finding her way out of it all, but it was just the necessary cost of her survival.

"You could end all of this. You could pack up Harrison and yourself and leave with me. Instead of that you chase that lunatic around that might hurt you, hurt us and you risk me being caught for what…? For Vogel?" She says without any real fire.

"I'm not doing this for Vogel only. I'm doing this for all of us. What if he tracks us down, what then? If he follows us, and what if one day he finds Harrison and..?"

"If he wanted to hurt Harrison, he would have done that by now!" She raises her tone, and then stops herself, alas, too late. The words are out, and she know just how wrong they sounded just by the look in Dexter's eyes.

"I'm sorry Dex. I didn't mean to be that insensitive…It just came out wrong!" She apologizes, but he keeps staring at her. "You know I care about Harrison!"

"But you care about me more." Dexter finishes her sentence. "You care about, you and me, about _us._"

"Yes." She nods quickly.

Dexter's hard expression doesn't change." But there is no us without Harrison, Hannah."

She interrupts him. "I know that, I'm sorry-"

It's his turn to interrupt her. "And the woman that says that she loves me more than anything should know that! He is my son, and he means a world to me. And you should know better! If you are going to be my wife, you will have to learn that he comes first."

"Your wife?" She screams out, hugging him. "Yes, yes, yes, Dex."

He keeps talking mechanically. "Well, it's only logical after we get out of the country. But I want the best mother Harrison can have and you're doing a hell of a job to convince me that you're not the one for him! His mother has to love him, he has to be the most important to her, even more important than I am. And if you do love him the way you say, and if you love _me_ the way you say, you'll wait until I get this over and done with Saxon. He is a threat to my family, and I have to eliminate him."

"You, or your so called Dark Passenger? Because Dex I, I know you want the best for Harrison, but please, convince me that it's not your ridiculous need to kill…Because I know you can do better! For me, for this love. I know it fills you up, this time we have together, and I know you haven't killed in month. Tell me truthfully, is this kill you're preparing to do because of your family, Harrison and me, or because you want to plunge knife into his chest?"

She sees her words have struck him. She's close, so close to getting what she wants.

"I need to go." He says the sentence that frustrates her the most.

"I asked you something. Is that the reason you want to kill him?" Hannah insists. She is out in the safe zone, Dexter seems calmer after his outburst at her. So she wants to get all the truth out. "Where are you going now?"

"I'm going out to hunt him. I have a lead where he might be." Dexter answers, dressing himself up, and going out.

There is something he's not telling. She knows that, she knows when he rubs his neck this way and straightens this way that he's hiding something. And she is about to discover what.

Hannah flashes him one gentle smile and kisses him. "Okay, my love. Just be careful. I'll wait. Just report back to me with everything. Passports and money are ready, waiting for us to leave." She motions toward bed, her things hidden beneath.

"See you soon." Dexter says, kissing her back.

He leaves, and Hannah waits few moments.

Then she grabs the keys of her rented car, her black, dorky glasses and some baseball hat.

She leaves, locking the door behind her.

* * *

Jaime greets me on my way to Deb's house, and she smiles, secretly pointing at Astor teaching Deb how to cook. The girl seems so intent to educate her aunt, but it's not working, as Deb swears, forgetting that Harrison is around. She can shoot a moving target 20 feet away, but she misses the entire pan when she has to put an egg into it. A walking contradiction, that's Debra Morgan.

"I met them at the beach, Deb told me you two have something planned tonight. So I'll keep an eye on them. Deb agrees that we stay here." Jaime says. "But..I…have something.."

"Your things are at my place, if you want to pick them up, you can do that, but take kids with you. And if you have plans with Joey, you take them there, too. Just text me where to pick them up." I answer, thinking about what Hannah said. Harrison and Astor can't be alone even a minute, I made that mistake today, but it can't happen again.

"Actually, I'll take them to Angel's place, I promised him a dinner tonight. You know, brother-sister bonding time." She nods in Deb's direction.

Yeah, Jaime. I know. Except, Deb's and mine bonding time consist of going into a club and stalking potentially one of the worst serial killers Miami's ever faced and getting him on the table of the most successful serial killer Miami's ever faced. Which would be your boss.

"Oh, good then. Except…I don't know when we'll finish, so.." I rub my head, hoping she'll get the clue..

"We'll be awake, don't worry. And if you think you'll stay pretty late, they'll sleep at our place. Don't let that be an obstacle for the two of you." Says the best nanny in the whole world.

She takes the kids out, and Deb and I stand on the porch and kiss them, waving. Harrison holds on Deb like he's never going to see her again, and Astor comments something about him being little too attached to her. I don't mind it, actually. This is all Deb's going to get, since they won't see each other for a long time once we move to Argentina with Hannah.

Once they drive off, we get back to house, preparing for our first stalking night together. Or in Jaime's words, brother and sister quality time.

* * *

Hannah follows him, keeping a long distance, and in one moment she loses him. But that's not important, because she knows this neighborhood. She already knows very well where he is and it doesn't take her long to find his car.

Sitting in the car for a good fifteen minutes seems like in eternity for her. Actually, she doesn't know what she's waiting for. But then, Jaime gets out with girl that she recognizes as Astor, and Harrison kisses Deb and hugs her, and it gets Hannah emotions to the boiling point. She grips her steering wheel until her knuckles turn white, and she curses "Bitch…" without even speaking aloud. Once the kids and Jaime are gone, Dexter follows Deb back into house.

"Like a fucking puppy." She says to herself.

Hannah turns on the vehicle. There is no need for her to wait anymore. Dexter lied to her. He's not stalking anyone tonight. It's not fucking Oliver Saxon keeping him here.

It's his sister.

* * *

Debra emerges from the bathroom and I stop doing whatever I did before that and then actually forget what I did before that.

Pretending that everything is normal has been perfectly fine all day, and she actually surprised me with her usual behavior toward me, usual being the way she acted before she found out about my hobby. Right now I question both her motives, and my reactions to her.

I keep saying myself she is my sister. Yet I have uncomfortable flashes of our night together for two days already, but I masterfully managed to suppress it in the previous hour. I forgot that anything out of the ordinary ever happened between us, and then _this _ happens.

Is she teasing me on purpose?

Debra's dark red dress is something new, I don't remember seeing it on her.

She notices I eye the dress, and answers my unspoken question. "Oh, Jake bought this one for me. I hate it and thought it was fucking slutty, but slutty is exactly what we fucking need tonight." And then quickly corrects herself. "For the stakeout. We're going into slutty club."

"That's one hell of the coincidence you know someone in "Romero", Deb." I try to shift my attention to our conversation. Deb puts on red lipstick and ties her hair up.

Would you please stop doing that, Deb?

"Actually, we're not going into "Romero". It's "Salsa madness" right down the street, two or three placed from "Romero".. But the boy that works there knows everyone in that neighborhood. If Saxon ever went there, he was spotted, trust me. I know that, I've been working long enough on the street to know how things function outside." And then she turns around and I notice that her dress fits her perfectly. It's maddeningly tight around her breasts, since it has no straps at all, and then cuts at her waist and falls to her knees.

Elway knew her dimensions accurately.

That's because he had his hands on her.

He had his fucking, dirty hands on her.

I can't help myself. "Wow, you and Elway must've been very active. I have to admire his precision of picking up the dress that suits you this way." I comment dryly.

Deb sits down and shoots me the most evil smile I've seen on her face in ages. She slowly crosses her legs and puts her heels on, that same expression not leaving her face. When she speaks, her voice is silky and malicious and I want to kick myself for talking at all.

Now she thinks I'm jealous. I'm not. I have my beautiful girlfriend and I don't need anyone else. Especially not my own sister.

I am not jealous. No.

"I don't know if I should get offended or flattered. " She gets up and approaches me. The way she walks is not Deb at all, when did she learn how to walk on high heels? "Thank you for your compliment over my fucking dress and the way it fucking suits me. And fuck you for calling me a whore referring to Elway and me. We fucked once, last night." And then she points to the sofa, the one I've been keeping my hands onto. "Right there, where you hold your hands." I take my hands of the sofa instinctively and she laughs. "I'm kidding, Dex. It was in bedroom."

"I don't need to know that." I fire back agitated. "Your sex life is none of my business."

"Then don't fucking ask if it hurts you so much, Dexter." She answers back immediately.

I stay silent.

This is going to be long night.

* * *

Deb is driving fast, well, faster than usual. She was always one hell of a driver, a real danger on the road. That's the reason why I usually drove us whenever we needed, but tonight she insisted, so I let her do whatever she pleases. It's a funny sight when she sits in the car and curses and then changes into pair of running shoes, kicking her heels onto the back seat. I chuckle when she gives me the middle finger and says "Next time we're stalking someone _you're _wearing fucking heels."

I speak out aloud how glad I am about our relationship going back to normal, hoping I'll get something out of her, but Deb refrains herself from comments, and that only fuels my suspicions even further.

But, at least I think that the worst is behind us.

I decide to change the subject, so I ask her who is this contact she's leading me to. She informs me that guy is called Santos Ayala, and that she met him while she was back into Vice. He was a small time criminal and she actually saved his life by accident, but ever since then he considered her sort of his muse.

"You know how Masuka says he has his "people"? Like, little fucked up scientists? Well, I have my people, too. Whole bunch of them. Whatever you might need, I have it. Contacts on the streets among hookers, checked. Contacts at local drug market, check." At that I growl at her, as we both remember that she was using pretty recently, so she quickly gets over that one. "Contacts between musicians. That one goes thanks to Anton. And you couldn't believe what musicians know. They're like regular fucking hawks on the streets, they know everyone. Just name it, rich guys, poor guys, bad guys."

We get to the club and she takes a deep breath.

"Here we go." She says, and then stops me, asking the last thing I could think of right now. "How the fuck do you plan on leaving with Hannah to Argentina? It still fucking puzzles me."

"Seriously Deb, now?" I glare at her. "We had a twenty minutes long drive, and now you ask me that?"

"Well, sorry I fucked up your tight schedule, asshole. Next time I'll announce myself before I shoot you inappropriate question, your Royal Fucking Majesty." Deb jokes, and then her look turns to irritated one. "Oh, please don't tell me you took her to Summer!"

"To who? " I close the door and she walks over to me.

"Summer. Summer Bridges. That girl that did miracles with passports, we arrested her two years ago. Come on, she was questioned in one of those..what was the name of that case..?"

" The Bolton case. The guy killed his sister's lover, yeah I remember that one." The thought of the slim, shorthaired girl goes trough my mind. She was hitting on me so hard that I thought I'll put her on my table and kill her out of the pure annoyance. I think there would be some part of the Code that allows that. "Don't get caught" means, do whatever you have to do to survive. And I could've died of pure boredom, that's what kind of affect she had on me.

"Oh, God, she was so into you." Deb laughs." That's your passport contact. You see, you have people, too."

"No, I didn't take her to Summer." I answer agitated, walking toward the club, and turning around awkwardly when I notice that Deb is not following.

Oh, she forgot her heels.

She puts them back on. "Motherfucking cocksucking heels. I fucking hate them so fucking much." She looks up, her face twisted in pain.

I raise my eyebrows in painful expression. "Deb, hurry up, please."

"Oh fuck you. This is not fucking horse race, Dexter. Will you chill out for fucking second? " She comments. Finally she wins her battle over her shoes, and curses once again just in case, and joins me quickly.

"So. Fucking Hannah." She goes back to the subject.

"She already has passports for me, Harrison and herself. And she has cash. Lots of it." I reassure Deb, but she's skeptical.

"Don't tell me she fucking keeps it in her place? Oh fuck Dexter, you're both insane. You're just waiting to get caught!" She speeds up, noticing a car going towards us from the not so safe distance. "If anyone arrests her, there is immediate proof that you have been helping her all along, Jesus Christ! And how the fuck did she get so much fucking cash?" She figures that one herself and slaps her thighs exasperated. " Great. More innocent people. Fucking A, Dex."

Sounds of salsa music covers her voice, and then the crowd swallows us.

* * *

Angel plays chess with Astor, and surprisingly she wins for third time. Just for his pride, he acts like he let her win, but to be honest, he thoughtfully considered his every single move, and she still beat him. One of his telenovelas starts on the TV and he saves himself and goes to watch it. Astor joins him and Jaime gets the dinner out, Harrison carrying plates.

Angel is still amazed at how grown Harrison looks. Dexter is really happy to have this kind of child. He remembers how impossible Auri was at his age. Astor and Harrison sit in front of TV, and then Harrison happily points to one man, that looks a lot like Dexter.

"Daddy!", he says.

"It's not daddy. It's Daniel Vergara. He is good guy in this show. He is good guy, just like your daddy." Angel pats the little boy over his blond hair.

"Daniel. I love that name. It's like "Dan", only longer. If I ever had another brother I would call him "Daniel." Harrison chews on his fingernail, and Astor hits his hand.

"Have you ever seen Dan do something like that? It's gross!." She warns him, but he sticks out his tongue.

"Stupid! Dan has no fingernails!" He says.

"Who is Dan?" Angel asks his sister, confused. She quietly answers that it's Harrison's imaginary friend.

"Oh." Angel smiles, and then gently hugs Harrison. "I think you should go in the kitchen and take out another set, so Dan could have a dinner with us, okay buddy? And apologize to your sister."

Harrison returns the hug, and then kisses Astor on her arm, saying he's sorry for calling her stupid. She winks to Angel, and takes Harrison's hand, walking into kitchen with him. Jaime turns off the TV, and firmly orders for Angle to sit at the table and leave the stupid telenovelas alone.

Angel thinks to himself that all the sisters are the same. They always do what's best for their brothers even if the brothers themselves don't like it.

He gets up and then the sound of his phone brings him back to living room.

"Leave it, it's nothing important. Our dinner is getting cold." Jaime is displeased.

He takes the phone with him and opens the message, while following his sister. And then he almost drops the phone.

Because the words in are so haunting that he almost can hear the gunshot taking away his Captain's life.

"_Do you really think that Estrada killed Maria Laguerta? Didn't all the pieces too conveniently fell into all the right places? Like a puzzle, too easy to solve. Be a decent cop for once in your life and look closer. Guess again, Angel. Your ex-wife deserves at least that much from you."_


	11. Chapter 11

_**And chapter eleven is here. Thank you, S.:-) **_

_**As usual, read and review, you know how it goes.:-)**_

* * *

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Oliver Saxon puts his phone and his wallet into his pocket and then takes off his jacket. He folds it on the passenger seat of his truck and then slowly gets out of his vehicle, taking a frightened girl with him. He strokes her head to calm her down, but she still cries, her long brown hair falling over her face and duck tape that covers her mouth.

"Shhhh, angel. It's all gonna be over soon. Don't be afraid." He soothingly says, and when she thrashes he grabs her hair roughly and hisses at her. "Stop resisting you, fucking whore." He takes her to one deserted yard, going behind the house into a garage.

Once inside he ties her to the chair and slowly proceeds to take his tools out of the bag. She is actually still alive when he starts to cut her skull open, and he enjoys the terror the girl is facing, turning one mirror toward her so she can see what he's doing to her.

"You see… This is how your life ends you little worthless piece of shit. But don't worry, in your death you'll be more useful than alive. I will use you…" He kisses the top of her head, his mouth bloody and the girl pulls at her restraints one last time before falling unconscious, "to send a message to one old friend."

He turns around and takes one glass. Taking out the small piece of her brain he carefully sets it down, his tongue licking the blood off his lips, and then he slowly closes the glass and sets it beside him.

He covers the table in plastic, and then takes the girl's clothes off, setting her onto the table and then wrapping her up. Finally, he takes the knife and plunges it into her chest, sound of plastic and tissue splitting under the force of cold steel blade brings him so much joy.

"Oh mother, you're going to be scared shitless." He says, placing few of Evelyn's hairs on the table. He leaves the garage and then goes back into house, taking out of the basement the owner of it. He tied him few hours ago and made sure that he stayed in as much uncomfortable position as he can be, so man is already beyond frightened when Saxon returns.

"Albert Yates." He calls out, when man opens his eyes, terrified. "How very thoughtful of you to choose a house so secluded of from the looks of curious strangers. You made this easy for me…No witnesses, nothing. You know, I made a mistake once. I let my guard down and my girlfriend's brother followed me. I killed him." He hovers over his prey. "Stabbed him. That's your favorite method, isn't it?"

The man's muffled screams bring him back to his business, and he stretches out his hands.

"My mother betrayed me. But she is a killer, too. She killed two of her patients, do you know that? You were a lucky bastard, you could have been the third one. She gave you the same treatment, after all. Cutting your brain up, that's not nice thing to do. " He chuckles. "Oh yes, you guessed it out right. Evelyn Vogel, that's my mother. She betrayed me, just like she did to you. But I'm the smarter one. I'll get back at her, for both of us. She was supposed to love us, to keep us safe. Instead, she did what she did. So, don't worry you'll have your revenge. But first." He gets up and secures a rope, making preparation for suicide scene. "you'll have to do something for me."

He takes out the paper of his pocket and dials police.

"Read this, and you might get through all of it unscratched ." Oliver says calmly. Albert obliges.

Fifteen minutes later, Saxon has everything cleaned up and he sits in bar a talking to his date, a hooker he picked up in "Romero's". They have short, unpleasant sex, and he leaves her grumpy. He decides he should make his final move.

An hour later, Albert Yates' hanging corpse greets the police bursting through his front door; Joseph Quinn is the first cop on the scene.

He makes a call to Debra, but doesn't reach her. Feds follow soon enough, and Angel Batista shakes his head cursing because two of the people from his team are still missing, and Crawford looks too amused for Angel to handle.

He says angrily to himself. "Jesus Christ, Morgans…"

* * *

One large man stands in front of Deb and points one threatening finger at her for trying to come to the back side of club. I myself have gotten into tricky situation, my sister made it clear that it's forbidden for me to interfere.

On her part, she seems determinate to keep this civil.

"Listen, jerkface." She takes his finger into her left palm, and pushes herself an inch away from his lips, man obviously confused by her behavior." If you don't let me see Santos, I'll blow your balls of before you can say "Fuckballs". And yes, that thing between us, beside your obvious boner, is my fucking gun.. So don't fuck with me or might find yourself on the wrong side of dick. Do you get me?"

Well… at least she said it in the cold and calculated tone. That part is civil. I think.

Apparently, Deb choose her dress not to fuck with my mind, but to hide her gun on the upper side of her thigh. So one more of her actions goes misinterpreted my way. She's getting really good at this.

"Miss, you cannot pass." He stubbornly says, but she gives him one chilling smile, that makes both him and me back off. She grabs her gun before he can react and pushes him it towards his temple. She's fast. I wonder how the hell did I manage to subdue her that night…?

"Does this fucking convince you?" She asks elegantly, and then the voice calls out from behind.

"Debra "Fucking" Morgan." Very short man comes our way. "Nigel, you stupid fuck. Deb, forgive him, he is fucking retarded."

"She looked like cop." Nigel defends himself, as Deb returns her gun back into holster fixed on her leg.

"She isn't a cop, you fucking moron. This girl is my friend." He hugs Deb tightly. The way he acts, I think that Masuka might have Mexican twin brother, if that makes any sense.

"Sorry, let's go to my office." Santos leads us in his place. I'm surprised to see it's full of cameras. Deb was right, they are really having this neighborhood under surveillance. "So Cockroach, what brings you here? You wanna have a drink?"

"No thanks, I'm good." She says.

"And your partner here? Now, you know I love you, but this isn't place for bringing fucking cops, Deb." She shoots him one look." Hey, except you. You're okay."

"He's not my partner." She answers.

"Oh, shit? He is Mister Cockroach? Sorry, man. But I can't help hitting on her." Santos apologizes, and I'm still as confused as I was when we came in.

"He's not my boyfriend, either." Deb laughs. "We do have a same last name, but he's not my husband either."

"Fuck! You're Dexter "Fucking" Morgan. That superhero, almighty, perfect brother of yours. That blood splatter analyst? Last time we met, you lived at his place, right? Man nice to meet you!" He extends his hand.

"It's "spatter", not fucking "splatter". And yes, that's him." Deb says.

Yes, it's me. Deb's superhero, almighty, perfect brother. One constantly good thing in her life. I close my eyes for briefest moment, just to shake the sudden discomfort away.

"Hello, brother Cockroach." I shake his hand and curiously ask why does he gives her this kind of nickname.

"It's because you could have goddamn Armageddon heading our way, and this girl would be only one surviving it, that's fucking why. You put her in any place on Earth, in any fucking shithole, and she'll survive." He smiles at me. "One tough bitch, that's her."

Actually, I remember Deb throwing up on her bathroom floor, and me picking up her bony, thin body and taking her to her bed, where I took what's left of her just few hours before. I remember how broken and lost she looked after she killed Laguerta. That is not Deb anymore.

She could survive anything, anything except me. I killed her.

"Hey man, how come you don't swear?" He asks me, as Deb keeps watching the videos and pretending she doesn't hear us.

"No…I usually don't swear that much." I answer.

"Brother to Deb Morgan doesn't swear?" Santos asks almost disgusted.

"He is adopted." Debra says from the other side of room. I inhale through my nose, holding myself together not to comment. Here, Santos, let me give you translation of what she means by that. He is NOT my fucking brother at all. Actually, he is the worst fucking thing that ever happened to me. That's what Deb meant.

"Oh, that explains a lot." He says. "You're lucky." he gives me one knowing look, keeping his voice low. "Because it's not so fucking healthy when someone swears that fucking much."

"This guy." Deb says, showing him Saxon photo. " Do you know who this guy is? Have you seen him around? He hangs out in "Romero", that was what I've heard."

"Oh, I don't know. I see a lot of people here." Santos answers taking a photo and thinking." He looks so.. ordinary. Which might mean a trouble for him." He grins. "Because we don't have much of ordinary people here. Most of them are dealers, and macros and some of them are even killers. I can hook you up with someone in "Romero" to check it out, if you want. But you need to stay quiet, no more that cop bullshit of yours. One day you'll get yourself killed with that attitude."

"I won't, I'm fucking cockroach, remember?" She smiles at him. "You need to keep this low profile. This favor, I'm asking from you. Because the fucking cops could be taking over this place pretty fast, if you know what I mean. And that's not something you would want too, right?"

"We got corrupted, are we?" He playfully smiles, and Deb doesn't answer..

Yes. _I've_ corrupted her.

"That's what dating to a fucking serial killer does to you." She jokes, and they both laugh.

Or having a serial killer as a brother does to you.

Santos takes his phone and absently says. "I'm sorry little fucker killed himself. It was too good death for him, after what he fucking did to you. I wish he fucking died by your hand."

"In a way, he did." She silently says, and glances at me, her eyes haunted. We look at each other, and I see true love and regret in her eyes. She still can't forgive herself for Brian. Even after I broken her in every way possible, she is still the one that has the strength and humanity to regret.

But I don't feel regret. I would have killed him thousand times if I had to. You deserve it, Deb. She comes closer while Santos talks to someone, and she holds out shaky hand to me. I take it and rub her palm with my thumb.

" 'm sorry" Deb whispers.

"I'm not." I answer with all the certainty in world.

"I'm going out for a short while." He says. "I'll take this photo with me, and you'll have your information soon enough. Just sit here, and Cockroach, avoid Nigel, please. He's a sweety but can be really unforgiving when someone puts a gun to his temple. Okay?" He pats Deb on her back, and gets out.

We look after him, our hands still joined.

* * *

Vogel goes through her records for the third time, trying to figure out what's missing. The Brain Surgeon obviously didn't take everything, he only took what seemed the most important to him. That would also mean that he was here more than once, and the he went through her stuff in detail before Dexter installed her cameras. In the end she counts her CD's and stops dead in her tracks when she realizes that one is missing.

Last record of her and Harry Morgan. The one that could destroy both her and Dexter, if anyone sees it. She sits down, shocked. All her senses are numbed down, she is sinking, she is feeling hot and cold at the same time.

And then, low voice comes behind her just before she faints.

"Hello, mother."

* * *

"His name is Oliver Saxon, he is a regular at "Romero's". This is his license plate, and this is where he usually took his hookers. Now, this is interesting, he took one of them in this place, some old psychiatric hospital, ain't that scary? I think you can find him here. " He gives us address.

I'm impressed. I was stalking this guy, but this Santos, who never knew met him in person, found out everything I needed in one simple phone call and twenty minutes of conversation with his contacts. Deb's right, contacts are a miracle.

"The most important part is that he's got a date. Tonight. With Hyena." He proudly writes down girls phone number.

"Fucking Hyena? That's her fucking name?" Deb asks in disbelief. " Wow, thanks Santos, I owe you for this one."

"You don't fucking owe me. You saved my ass, remember?" He kisses her hand.

"Yes, by accident." She replies honestly.

"Yes, but you did it anyway. And Santos never forgets." He follows us out. "I have to work now. I won't have a single break in next two days, can you believe it? Running a club, even a salsa club is fucking exhausting."

We get out of his office and into the crowd, and some songs starts, so Deb moves her hips and starts dancing. Funny thing is that someone watches her right new, he would never guess she wears manly boots and swears like sailor.

She looks beautiful.

Deb notices my look, and there it goes again, one of her masks is on. Something is off this entire day, the way she forgave me, after our fight yesterday, and the way she acts around me screams red alerts, but I ignore it. She takes my hand and forces me to dance, laughing when I stumble on my feet. We haven't danced since my wedding, so it feels strange, when she takes my hand once again, putting it over her lower back, and coming closer.

"What are you doing?" I ask her dangerously, and she sees I'm not pleased with her actions. She backs off, and smiles again, even more dishonest than before, and calls out for me to follow her.

Once we're out of the club, she once again complains about her heels, and says how good music is in the club, but I ignore all of that, and once we're in the car I stubbornly refuse to talk to her. We're driving trough dark deserted ally when I suddenly hiss, "Pull over." I hiss at her. " Pull over!" I grab her hand forcing her to face me. I catch my own reflection in mirror. I have eyes of a wolf that picked up the scent of blood. There is no blood, but clearly there is one big, fat lie hoovering over us.

She seems surprised by my outburst, but she doesn't oblige. Instead, she goes faster. I don't speak anymore. Only my grip on her hand hardens, until the point I think her bones might snap, yet she stays silent.

We get to her house, and she takes her heels off and heads to the beach, leaving me alone in her house. The air in the house suffocates me, and I decide to get out and finally get behind the real motive for all of this.

"Deb." I call out for her, but she just walks away. I run after her, and stand just in front of her. She doesn't look at me, but there it is, my hurt, ruined Deb once again shows her face. So this entire days _was _just an act.

Wonderful. Fucking perfect.

"What?" I ask, and she looks up. "What?!" I repeat louder. It kills me I don't know how to handle her. And it kills me that it kills _her_, obviously.

"Nothing. It's nothing." She replies. "Please, leave me alone."

"I'm not leaving until you tell me everything, you hear me?" I'm disturbed by all of her behavior. It took some time, but I realized, it's not all about me. It really isn't. I know I do love her, and even if I do make poor choices, that only she seems to regret instead of me, that doesn't change the fact that I care about her in my own fucked way. "What are you thinking about? Tell me, just … Tell me everything."

"_You_ wanna talk? You wanna know…? You really fucking wanna know? " She asks and I nod.

Deb sniffs, and takes a deep breath, her gaze going upwards. "About your wedding." Her voice comes out soft, defeated.. "About dancing at your wedding, with you. Before all of this. Before Trinity, before Travis, before Hannah, before Laguerta", Deb dares to meet my intent stare." Before I found out who you really are. Before I found out you're not the one I thought you are."

"Deb." I don't know what to say to her. We had this kind of conversation before, and it always ended in fight, or in Deb crying and me apologizing. But it feels different this time. It feels…final.

"And then… Then I think of Rita's dress… The one I took from your house, the one she's got buried in. I think of Harrison covered in blood, screaming in my arms on the front lawn, and those Fucking Bunch of Idiots running around. I think about Astor and Cody and how broken you looked when they left."

"I was broken." I tell her quietly, my voice soft so I don't scare her off.

"But you found Lumen soon enough. And you went on like Rita never existed, Dex. She gave her life for you, she gave birth to your child, and you forgot her. Just like that."

I see where this is going. She thinks she's going to end up like Rita, forgotten. But I haven't forgot my wife, I see her in Harrison every day. The scary part is that I start to see _myself_ in him, too. And that's a legacy I don't want for my son.

Deb shouldn't be scared like this. Even when I leave with Hannah, Debra is going to be in my thoughts. She shouldn't be afraid that I'll say goodbye to her forever. I can't be without her, she should've known that. Yes, it's truth I was the worst brother one could have in the previous month, and I was especially that way in previous month, but she has to understand that I'm confused and conflicted. My desperation led to another fatal mistake, me sleeping with her.

That's the worst thing I've ever done to her. But somehow I can't regret it. Because the way it actually _felt_…

Deb continues, and I listen to her carefully.

"You were there to fucking pick me up after every disaster in my fucked up pathetic life. I keep thinking about your arms around me when Mom died, when dad's heart gave up in that fucking hospital, in that ambulance, after Rudy, Brian put me on the table, when I mourned Lundy…." Her voice starts to tremble. This is one of things I love about her. She can be loud and strong and dangerous and capable, like she was tonight in that club, but she still has a vulnerable and innocent side, one that should've never been touched by my darkness. "You were there, Dex. But ever since I admitted what I found out in that therapy… You showed that fucking Dark Passenger of yours to me countless times, and I don't know if anything we ever had was truth."

"It was." I desperately start. "It is, Deb. Please."

"It doesn't matter, all those times you screwed me over in my police investigation. It doesn't matter I had to let you and Lumen go. I don't even mind burning that church with you. But what I did to Laguerta.." She shakes her head, an agonized look on her face. I suppress the urge to ask her forgiveness once again. It's pointless, I think."It changed me. I wanted to hate you. I wanted to blame you. I still want to blame you. And then, at night I close my eyes and I see Harrison for the first time. I see your beautiful house in the fucking suburbs, and your happy family and I see my father and how much love he gave you and I see us running away from waves… I see that proud look on your face when I became Lieutenant." She swallows and her voice becomes broken. "Sometimes I pretend I'm in Joe Driscoll's house and that Rudy is some normal guy, and that Rita is still alive and that you and I are still brother and sister." Tears are flowing freely down her face, she chokes on them, breathing hard.

"We are still brother and sister, Deb." I try to reach out for her, but she extends her hands as if saying "don't touch me". It happened already, in that parking lot after Lundy's death. So I understand, and take one step back. I guess I did learn thing or two over the years. She will break soon enough. And I'll be here to pick her up. Just like I always did. Just like it was supposed to be.

"I still feel your hands around me when you said you loved me for the first time in your life. I had my whole world under my feet back then."

Don't say the next part Deb. Don't do it. "But when I shake of all of that, all of those fucking layers you've put on me during my lifetime, the only thing that stays is constant feeling of your hands _on _me."

It was just question of time when this conversation will come up. I was fool to believe otherwise. We had sex. Nothing matters now, nothing that we went through as brother and sister. Everything is stained by the fact that I fucked her.

"I'm so sorry I did that." I squeeze my hands shut." I'm so sorry for hurting you."

"You wouldn't fucking stop." She says accusingly.

"That's not the truth." I argue. " I…I was…" I fall silent for a moment. She did ask me to stop. It was only when I saw her crying I forced myself to slow down. The feeling of her hair in my hands as I pin her down burns me, and I feel sick in my stomach. What have I done?

We fucking had sex!

"You wouldn't stop because you know _I _actually didn't want you to stop." She painfully says. "Because you were right. Because when you love someone for your whole life... No matter what happens, it's hard to shake it off..." She sighs and covers her eyes. "You don't know your strength, Dexter. You were hurting me that night. And I still manage to…I still love you. Not, not you…but the idea of you." Her voice grows stronger, now that everything is painfully laid out. "The idea of slack tide, of perfect undying love. Of fucked up life, that still managed to be beautiful because I had our family. Because of Harrison, and Astor and Cody and Rita. But mostly because I had you. And now it's all gone. Done with. Taken fucking away from me .And I'm lost. Like someone pulled the fucking rug under my fucking feet and I'm about to fall…It feels that way all the time."

She composes herself, wiping her tears away.

"And I have nothing left. I don't know who I am anymore. It was you defining me, you and Dad. And I found out that none of you were someone I would look up to. But it's to deep inside, this cancer, this _love _I feel for you." She continues. "I have made so many mistakes loving you, but I lived to regret them… And now the only thing I want to do, the only think I would fucking _die for_ is to protect the only innocent part that's left in me and my life."

"Harrison." It finally hits me. Realization dawns upon me as she confirms my suspicion by sadly smiling.

"Harrison." She says, voice breaking over my son's name.

"I said that Elway was a threat to our family, and you left him… But not because of me, but because of my son." It's not a question. "But why, Deb? You had a chance to be happy with him." She gives me one disapproving look. "Yes, Deb I do hate him, but still…and your behavior today… I thought we got back to normal…You acted like before and I.." It hurts me that it was all an act. Spending time with her today was more than pleasant and it reminded me of our days before the shit hit the fan. It means so much, so much more than any f us could imagine.

"I wanted to ask you something…I know I fucking can't talk you out of leaving with Hannah fucking McKay. And I'll be honest, Dex. I want you gone." Tears stars to build anew, but she proudly shies them away." I want you gone, so I can rebuild my life from the ashes, to find my path. Without you. But I can't…I won't let you take Harrison. I would rather die than have him taken away. Not because I'm selfish. It's because I fucking love him. I love him and I want to save him."

"Because you couldn't save me. No one can save me. It's useless to try that." I gently say, pain griping me once again. "But Deb… He is my son."

"He could be my son, too." She quickly says. "I would give my life to protect him from anything. Even from you, Dexter."

I'm not leaving Harrison in Miami without his father. Why is she so stubborn?

"So that was your grand plan? Break up with Elway, return to the force, patch things up with me, at least superficially." I count on my fingers. I don't know should I be angry or amazed by her behavior. She had me almost fooled. Almost. "You should've known better, Deb. I'm not giving up on him. I love him."

"You said you love me too, yet you're more than willing to leave me behind." She rebels forcefully.

"That's for your own good, too."

"And it would be for Harrison's own good if you left and never returned!" Deb bitterly says. " He killed his first animal. He killed and you left that out, you didn't said that to me. And he is going to follow your paths, if I don't stop it. I may be late, but I _am _going to step in one way or another."

"What do you want from me?" I ask, getting slightly irritated. "Don't you think I haven't been scared enough when I heard that?"

"I'm too late to preserve my innocence, Dexter! And I might be too late for Harrison. But that doesn't mean I won't fucking try, do you hear me?" She warns, and I see her in much different light. "I told you a long time ago that you'll have to decide between your activities and your family. You can't have both."

"I don't have to decide. That's _my_ family, Debra." Now his conversation sounds more than familiar.

"Don't give me that crap about you being in control." She heatedly growls. "You weren't in control with Brian. Doakes, an innocent man, died because of you. If there wasn't that crazy bitch, Lila… _You _ would be the one that would have his ass fried, and on the fucking electric chair. And regarding gross English titty vampire, she was the reason why I didn't leave with Frank when I should've! And now he's fucking dead! Gone. One more on my panifully long list of loses." Her voice escalates. "Or Rita. What about Rita, Dexter?Hmm? How _easily_ you forget about her being I fucking fault? Oh and If you have every fucking thing in your control, how come I discovered you, hm? Hannah almost killed me! I killed Laguerta! I fucking shot her! And if you have everything in your control how have you gotten yourself in situation to fuck your fucking sister just so you could keep her close?"

"I fucked you because I could and because I wanted to!" I snap at her, and she stops breathing for one second.

We both stop breathing.

I fucked her because I wanted her.

One simple slip of tongue explained it all. I wasn't thinking about it, it just came out. The ugly truth.

No more stupid excuses, no more lying to myself. I wanted to have sex with her and I did it.

It wasn't Brian at all. I just covered my dark desires, I clothed them into the image of my older brother, so I don't blame myself. But it was my doing.

Debra blinks once, then twice, and tilts her head like she didn't hear me well. She walks few meters, and then gets back, like she doesn't know where is she.

"Jesus Christ, Dexter…" She whispers. "Jesus Christ. What are you doing with Hannah, then?"

"I love Hannah!" I raise my voice.

"You love Hannah? Seriously?" She repeats. "What the fuck am _I_ to you?" Deb is still shocked.

"You're my sister!" This is not going to end well. It's escalating pretty quickly, and I can't let myself be guided by my emotions anymore. It always ended in horrific choices. One of them was us in bed. "Please, Deb I don't want to fight. I can't fight with you anymore, please. It's been months this way, and it ended how it ended, I know it was a horrific choice, but…Deb."

"Brothers don't fuck their little sisters, Dexter." She tearfully says, trying to catch her breath, her hands coming to rest on her knees as she bends over, movement similar to one I saw when I killed Briggs in front of her. "Dear God…"

"I don't know why I did it, okay?" I yell at her, but she just stares at me, her face blank.

"You just said you did it because you wanted it." Deb doesn't blink, doesn't move. I'm speechless, it feels like she has me by my throat and it's so unpleasant. "But you love Hannah…" Deb smiles disgustedly, shaking her head, like she knows something I don't. Her posture unnerves me, and I suppress the urge to shake her with the last bits of my will.

"Yes. Because she doesn't judge me, because she doesn't run away from my dark side. I am what I am, Deb. You can't change it! And I'm tired of feeling judged by you. I am so fucking tired. I'm not good person, Deb, I know it. But I loved you, and I love you, and I know I hurt you everyday by my presence. We both agree I need to leave. I will leave both of my apartments to you. I'll sell the "Slice of Life" and.."

"I don't need your fucking money!" She cries out. "I just need you to get the fuck out of my and Harrison's life! Because if you did love us, you would've found a way to put us above your fucking need! If you loved me you wouldn't force me on the bed, fuck me senselessly and then leave to go back to that fucking poisoning bitch that fucking tried to kill me!"

We're both silent for few moments. She is playing it brutal. Now I see just how dangerous she has become, she somewhat adopted my manipulating skills and she's using them against me at full force. She will go at any lengths to hurt me, and I don't know where, but somewhere along she marked me as her enemy and now her only goal is to get Harrison out of my grip. And she would say anything that comes up in her mind, because this is war, a war she has been fighting this entire day, and I, on the other hand, haven't seen it that way, so my defenses are down and I'm not taking her low blows so well..

We are not so different, after all. I pleaded to her to let me back in her life, I threatened her and I ended up hurting her physically, just because she wouldn't do my way. Now she's doing the same to me. It's a stalemate, but I won't give up on my son. No matter how much I love Deb, she can't take him away from me. And by having him on my side, I'll force Deb to stay by my side, too. She is not getting away from me that easily.

Deb looks uncomfortable by this turn of conversation, and I'm glad when she decides to shift it the other way.

"Dexter…" She rubs her forehead tiredly. "Just think. What kind of life could Harrison have with two serial killers? Even if Hannah doesn't betray you in the end…"

I interject harshly. "Hannah has proven herself, and enough with that. You, on the other hand… You played me, this entire day. You played me masterfully, I have to admit it. And only few people have managed to that. You made me wonder, how exactly far would _you_ go to get it your own way?"

"I told you I would've done anything for him. And I fucking mean it. If I have to beg you, I will. I don't give a flying fuck about pride, I only want to save your child."

"I will take care of my child, Debra." And just to make her back off, I add a warning, but without any real threat behind it. "Don't test me anymore. You might not like what I'll do."

"What exactly could you do? Take my clothes off and put me on the fucking table?" She challenges. "Fucking stab me with your fucking knife through my chest?" She comes closer, her eyes deathly. "Or it would be your dick sticking into me?"

I'm numb.

How naïve of me to think that maybe, just maybe we could forget what happened. Deb is not forgetting it. She is pressuring me into thinking about that night. Her words were "I will never forgive you this." I should've known better than to think that I could get away from what I've done. Deb is a dangerous opponent once she sets her mind on something. The last time it was running away from me, and it was her behavior that forced me to take drastic measures. Now she is determined to punish me for my mistake. But.. "I fucked you because I wanted to." It still plays in my mind.

Oh shit.

Deb has clearly won this round, so she turns around and goes to her house. Few moments later, she calls out for me like nothing happened.

"Dexter… Angel called us."

* * *

It is first rule of survival to be prepared for anything. I lived that way long enough. Detached from my emotions, always following rationality, always thinking twice. The lack of feelings made me a perfect killing machine, and I never minded it. The real problems started when I acknowledged them, and let them interfere in my everyday life.

It was my desire for connection that gotten me into trouble with Lila, Miguel, Travis… So many of them found their unique way to betray me, and each one of them met my blade and suffered from my retribution. I'm not an easily forgiving person, but Hannah must be the exception. She's the only one to survive my wrath so far.

Yet, I've found myself in a very tricky situation now. No matter how cold and detached I am, walking into this particular crime scene makes me feel really troubled. Given that I'm not in a very good state of mind after the last round of fighting Deb and I had, this is just a little too much to handle right now.

The Brain Surgeon managed to be creative once again. He made a perfect replica of Deb's crime scene, the one where she almost became a victim. The girl strapped on the table looks a lot like my sister, and the second Masuka warned me to follow Deb and be close if she feels sick, I knew it's serious. My perverted little friend didn't laugh, or joke, and it was safe signal for me that something is really wrong.

But the way Deb's face went pale really worried me. She was staring at the girl's corpse for two minutes before Quinn softly called out for her. Even my anger at her disappeared and I forgot how utterly fucked our situation is.

This is one more strike to Deb's mental health, and I'm suddenly thinking how stronger she is than me. Life keeps punching her, but she keeps holding on. Harry really did pick the weaker child to teach how to live.

"Good thing it's over." Crawford says. Albert Yates, man hanging in house took responsibility over these killings in his phone call to police, and according to the Fantastic Brilliant Inspectors, the case was very clear. The troubling part is evidence pointing in Evelyn Vogel's direction once again, and Angel swallowed hard when Crawford asked him about Vogel.

They tried to call her, but she wasn't picking up her phone. But it's not Vogel that has my full attention right now.

Deb plays it brave, and no one notices the tiny fracture in her voice as she talks, or that her hands are slightly trembling as she takes a closer look to at a girl whose fate Deb almost shared. She glances at me few times and I give her sympathetic look, but it doesn't do any good. Her stare only hardens and she makes herself look even tougher.

Both Angel and Crawford agree that this is murder/suicide, and Deb doesn't even argue, although it's clear to both of us that Yates is not our killer. But I must give a hand to Oliver Saxon for closing the investigation on him effectively. He must've notice that the feds might get him pretty quickly so he decided to handle this one like a champ. But the way he played with my sister's trauma was certainly not needed, and I'm going to nicely explain it to him before I cut his bowels out, and get rid of his head with my power saw. Preferably, while he's still awake.

On the other hand, Evelyn's situation doesn't look good at all. She should really answer her goddamn phone.

After we finish our work on the crime scene, I decide to try to talk to Deb, but she insists on visiting Vogel. Once we get there, Evelyn is not in her house, and I wonder if I'll maybe visit her crime scene tomorrow. A wave of nausea hits me, and I suppress it, thinking that at least we got head start on Saxon. Once we find him and I get my proof he's definitely responsible for this, it will all be okay.

I don't have everything under my control right now, but I will have it soon enough.

But I look at Deb, and shadow that covers her eyes warns me that devil's play is far from over.

In fact, the real mess hasn't even begun.

* * *

I wake up at Deb's place just little before six, and I try Vogel's phone again. When Evelyn finally answers my phone calls, she sounds happier than I heard her in a long time. She says she went for a drive last night, and she didn't take her phone with her, but I know better. Something is terribly off, my lizard brain warns me that I shouldn't trust her right now. We agree we'll meet today to discuss this situation with Yates, and she says she might be busy, but she'll call me to arrange a meeting later on.

I warn her about evidence pointing her direction, but she sounds like she almost doesn't care at all. What the hell happened last night?

I wander through Deb's bungalow, where I came back after our busy night at the crime scene, and she's still not up. Our drive home was tense. She asked me if I wanted her to drive me back to my apartment, and I found some excuse why I didn't want that. Surprisingly enough she doesn't question me, and lets me be with her. I think we both understand that she didn't handle that crime scene well, and I'm willing to give her a break after our fight. But I'm not willing to let her sleep alone in the house after seeing one of her worst nightmares right there in front of her. Though she is still pissed at me, Deb looks actually grateful for not being alone after all of that.

Maybe sometimes I do manage to do something right.

I'm sipping my coffee on her porch when I hear her wake up. She wanders through house, dressed in her boxers and long shirt and it seems she forgot I've been sleeping at her place. I confessed that I wanted to sleep with her last night. Is it really smart of her to walk around me dressed like this?

She notices me and we look at each other for very long moment. I silently get up and get into kitchen, preparing to make breakfast for her.

Deb doesn't say a thing. She sits on a chair, taking my cup of coffee and drinking it absently. I don't object, it's actually calming me when I see her this way. She reminds me of her old self.

"You had nightmares last night." I break the ice.

She gives me questioning look.

"You were shouting something in your sleep, so I came to check up on you." I explain, putting a plate in front of her. She nods ands starts eating slowly, but then sets the fork down. "Is something wrong?" I ask.

"I don't feel well." She answers. "It's too stressful, these past fucking months…I… I think it's taking it's toll on me." She takes the small package on her table, flipping it, and then forcing herself to eat once again.

I eye the black circles under her eyes, and the way she tries hard to swallow her food sets something off in me. I worry about her, but I don't want to tell her that, because she either won't believe me, or she will tell me to fuck off. So I decide not to comment.

"What's that?" I ask instead, and she shrugs, opening the package and finding a CD inside.

"Maybe it's a mistake.", she takes another bite, and sets the package down. "I'll see what it is later. Can't think about it now, it's too fucking early."

"Well, you slept for three hours only, so… I'm actually amazed you got up this early. You've never been a big fan of getting up before noon if you don't have to."

"I promised Angel I'll be at the station at nine." Deb wipes her mouth and finally gives up on eating. But she mercilessly drains what's left of my coffee, and I get up and start making another one.

"I got Vogel on the phone. She gave me some excuse why she couldn't answer, but basically I think she hides something. And I'll pay Oliver Saxon a visit today. No way that Albert Yates did that thing last night. And he had no motive to copy Brian's crime scene", I abruptly stop at that. Her nightmares were about Brian, I shouldn't mention that.

"Do whatever you want." She says tiredly, obviously not in the mood for action. "I would love to see him arrested, but I know it's fucking impossible, given that it's _you_ on his fucking tail."

"He obviously knows who I am, Deb. What he did to Matthews, what he did in that crime scene last night, it was a warning. To me." I push the subject further.

"Or maybe you're coming up with an excuse to kill him." She sarcastically adds. "Like your Dark Passenger needs any excuse."

I contemplate on what she just said. It has been a long time since I killed. Very long, in fact. Almost a month. It seems that my darkness was satisfied when I dropped those two into the sea. But the scary part is that I felt something better, much better, when I was with her. _That_ night.

"I felt sick last night." She suddenly says. "when I saw that girl. She died just because she looked like me. That's so fucking unfair."

"It's not your fault." I try my best to soothe her, but she just purses her lips in her familiar " don't fucking patronize me" way.

"I know it's not." She finally says.

"Deb."

She gets up from her chair, slowly opening a fridge, and taking one beer out. Her behavior unnerves me, and I' about to object with her being this poorly dressed in front of me and with her choice of drink in six am, when she sets the bottle down.

"This fucking stinks."

"Then don't drink it. It's too early anyway." I take the bottle and drain it in the sink, cleaning up the kitchen.

"Would you fucking stop it?" She suddenly bursts out. "I'm not touching your kitchen, so you leave mine alone."

"That's the problem. You're not touching your own kitchen, too. Look at this place, it's a fucking pig sty, Deb." I'm just stating the obvious. "It's like a hurricane went through your bungalow."

"You're a fucking hurricane." She whispers, snatching the plate out of my hand and washing it herself. She is standing close, very close and when she turns to face me we almost crash, but I manage to take a safe step back just in time. Deb stops dead in her tracks, her wet hand finding my chest, as if to push me away, but she actually does nothing. She just places it there, and watches damp dots forming on my shirt. Her palm is the cold opposite to my own hot skin, and the contrast almost hurts, in spite of that I don't do anything to remove her hand.

"I was scared shitless last night." She admits timidly, looking down where her skin meets with fabric of my shirt.

"I know." I answer, coming closer to her, my left palm slowly pushing her hair behind her ear. Her hair is soft. "I'm here. You're safe."

I want to hug her, and I make small movement, but her hand tightens like she's stopping me, so I give up. Why can't she just give in when I offer comfort? So many times in our life I faked it, I held her while she cried, and I felt nothing, or at least I thought I don't feel anything, and now when there are so many emotions that I can't or am too afraid to define, she pulls away.

We can't stay like this forever. She can't be content with feeling my heart beat. Either she has to break the contact or let me get lost inside her embrace. I miss those days when she would run away from demons and ask comfort in my arms. It made me feel humane, almost worth of her love.

But Deb just stays there. She doesn't feel the urge to change something. She seems not to notice my inner turmoil. Here is my sister, the most important person in my life. And she keeps hurting me by simply doing _nothing_.

I don't know for how long we stay unmoving, I don't know what actually happens but when she meets my eyes, hers are so bright and clear and I'm lost in her look.

"I don't feel fucking safe around you." Deb's voice is so small, and so honest, but I don't take time to consider what she just said. She just takes my hand and closes her eyes, her lips close to mine. Too close.

My heart sinks in disappointment. This is not truce between me and my sister. This is her finding new method to achieve power over me. Risky, deadly method. Is it really possible that our relationship is not sacred to her anymore? Is she really done with me, that she would go this far?

I hate her for doing this. The same thing happened last night when she pulled me to dance with her, but at the time I had my doubts about her intentions. Now I see it clearly. She is _seducing_ me.

And I'm letting her do that. I'm walking right into her trap. dammit, Deb. Dammit!

My defenses are down once again, and when I get to the bottom of her true motives it feels like she slapped me into face.

"Don't play games with me." I warn her, deep, hurt, inhumane growl pierces the space between us. Her grip on me tenses and I respond backing her against the counter, advancing on her. We're even closer now. She licks her lips and swallows hard, her hand traveling to my neck, tracing my mastoid muscle.

"Or you'll do what?" She asks, stroking my neck, but I suddenly turn her around, her back pressed against me, my left hand under her chin and right one pointing to the mirror in front of us.

I might be cruel, but the way she's ripping my heart out right now is nothing less than monstrous. I'm just trying to defend myself. I'm trying to defend _us. _From _her._

"Take a look at us and tell me that you're sure what door you're opening." My voice is hot and dangerous right in her ear. " Tell me you're not going to ask me to stop this time."

She is staring at our reflection, her eyes almost horrified at my words. I know what she's doing but obviously she still doesn't understand to which lengths this war off hers could go. Deb is smart, but is she really ready to face the consequences of her decisions for trying to outsmart me?

She doesn't say anything at all, and I roughly pull her shirt just little up, stroking small of her back. I push her forward and she bends over the counter, her hands grabbing the one hand that's holding her chin, as my other hand moves to her stomach, caressing lightly. Fingertips play with her firm muscles, tickling her, and then traveling upward, toward her breasts, my touches becoming more sexual which makes her breathe frantically. I stop right under her left breast, not to close and not too far.

I could cross the boundaries any moment if I want to. Just few inches upward.

Deb is still holding her ground, not giving up. But I know that soon enough she will break. I've taken the power away from her effectively and she's struggling with herself, various emotions playing over her face.

If she can be ruthless, I can be, too. Two can play this game.

I watch her intently in the mirror, removing my hand from under her shirt, and she shuts her eyes tightly when the buckle on my belt clicks. I slowly push her boxers an inch down, and one involuntary whimper leaves her mouth.

"Say it, Deb. Say it while you still can." It's a clear challenge, and the roughness of my tone suggests her to react. She starts slowly shaking, and I meet her gaze in the mirror.

Why did she had to ruin that perfect moment we had by provoking me? Why does she keeps fighting a battle that makes us both loosing side?

One more groan escapes me, and Deb recognizes the threat, as my anger reaches boiling point, and she finally gives up. "…Stop" she mutters.

"What was that?" I ask tilting her head so my head rests in the crock of her neck. "Say it again."

"I said stop. I want you to stop." She repeats louder this time.

We breath just like that, me holding her chin, while the other hands keeps resting on her boxers, just one movement enough to take them off her. Deb clenches her teeth as if she's bracing herself for what comes next, and I know what I have to do.

"You're not going to get your way, Debra. Manipulating me this way is really below you." I free her hastily, moving away a comfortable distance. Deb places both of her hands on the counter, releasing one deep sigh of relief. I could see how afraid she was of me, of possibility that this could go further.

And I want it to go further. That's the worst part of this situation. It's not that she's ready to let me do something like this to her just to keep the upper hand in this game of wills, but the fact that I'm on the very verge to use it against her and take advantage of this situation.

Hannah doesn't matter right now. The fact that Deb is doing all of this just to keep Harrison with her doesn't matter right now. The only thing that matters is that right now is that I'm trapped by these limitations, and I want to take her clothes off and fuck her on that counter.

The raw and painful truth that I'm actually attracted to her is out at last. Tasting her once was enough to open Pandora's box, and I finally understand all those weird emotions I've felt during our teenage years.

I keep looking at her, expecting for her to come to her senses, but she is still breathing hard, trying to compose herself.

"You're my sister and you should respect yourself _and_ me. This behavior of yours is way beyond insulting." I narrow my eyes at her, determined to shatter her illusion of fooling me and managing to hide her real motive for this. Determined to remind myself that she is the only person in the world I can't ever touch. " Whatever you do, I'm not handing Harrison over to you. Remember that next time you parade yourself around me. It's offensive and I won't tolerate that."

Round two goes to me.

I take my car keys and move past her, ignoring that she looks like she's going to break in two.

She broke my heart that way, so be it. I don't care even is she does shatter. She deserves it right now.

I reach for the knob and without turning around exclaim, "Don't ever do that again. _Ever_."

Once outside of her house, I walk toward my car and shakily climb into it. The street is deserted and this silence is anything but comforting. I stare in front of me for long time, before desperation finally hits me.

"Fuck!" I roar, hitting the steering wheel. "Fuck!"


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

"Now will you tell me where were you in past twelve hours, Dr Vogel?" Angel insists. "And how come you don't have any alibi for last night?"

"Do I need an alibi? You said it yourself that your team found evidence of Albert Yates being obsessed by me, so it's nothing strange you found my hair at that crime scene." Evelyn persists. It's been this way for the past 45 minutes, Batista attacking and the doctor avoiding his blows. It's tiresome, really. But Vogel doesn't seem scared, so at least that's the part that keeps me awake

"Yes, but what got to me is that he used this particular MO. This is perfect replica of Detective Morgan's abduction scene. If you recall, she was taken by the Ice Truck Killer and held hostage. He prepared to execute her, but Dexter showed up." Batista stars talking, and Deb rolls her eyes at this, but Quinn places his hand on hers, and she calms a bit. I, myself, am fixated on my sister's haunted eyes, she is taking all of this harder than she lets the world see.

"I remember that story quite well, thank you, Lt Batista. You're forgetting that Thomas Matthews was a friend of mine." She calmly replies.

"I am not forgetting anything. You're the one forgetting, Dr Vogel. You're forgetting that I and detective Quinn found something that could make big problems for you. " Batista lashes out, trying to compose himself and failing.

"You're frustrated." The older woman smiles almost innocently, and Quinn makes a deep sound in his throat, shifting my attention from Vogel to him. The doctor crosses her legs and crosses her hands on table, in front of Angel. Her fingers twitch nervously and for moment but says nothing. Then she inhales and gives a look toward the mirror, like she is talking directly to me. "It's all over. Leave it alone. You have your Brain Surgeon. And I have the chance to continue with my life after living so much time in fear and regret."

"What would you regret?" Batista asks cautiously. "Your dangerous method, perhaps? I'm not sure, but if I start digging through these cases I might implicate other doctors into this. Dr Richard Vogel, for example. He sounds interesting."

"I regret caring about Albert Yates, and I regret doing the wrong thing in order to help him. It got innocent people hurt, and that's the part I regret most! And you leave my husband out of this!" Vogel's voice sharpens.

"Your ex husband, Dr. Vogel." Angel emphasizes the words. "I guess he does know about your experiments. Rumor has it that you have been working together. That's it before he left you."

"My personal life is none of your concern, Lieutenant Batista." Vogel growls under her breath. "You should stay out of it."

"Or that nephew of yours… What's his name? I've got it somewhere here. He was supposed to be dead, wasn't he? That must've hurt?" Angel continues in manner that I haven't ever noticed he has. My cancer has spread to him, too. After Maria's death he became darker, much more unforgiving, a shadow of a soft man he once was. But he is still a better man than I'll ever be. Bringing up Vogel's nephew was really sneaky on his part, but it surprised me, mostly because she never mentioned it herself. Guess that's the part of the puzzle that was always missing around her. Angel finds his file. "Ah, yes. Daniel Vogel. One more of our secrets. You adopted him, right? And afterwards he was locked in an institution in London. Then he disappeared, it was presumed he committed suicide. Was he one of your experiments?" Now this was really unneeded. Angel pushed it too far, and it seemed that this whole interrogation was also taking it's toll on him. His eyes widened and his voice got shaky. I've seen that already, in past years. Any time he got too emotional in an interrogation room this would happen. But he would always manage to compose himself. His usual mechanisms are not working today.

"What is the point of all of this? You poking your nose around my personal traumas, acting like you have a God complex, in order to hide your poor instincts as a cop, while you helplessly watch your department being taken over by the FBI once again?" Vogel stands up, and walks behind Angel, hissing in his ear. "You're terrible, terrible at this game of trying to outsmart me and getting out of me something that even isn't there. You're chasing your horse after the race has already finished and everyone around you seems to notice that, but they don't want to insult the old, worn out cop who has nothing left in his life except a ridiculous hat and bunch of funny looking shirts, all the while trying to fill in the shoes of his dead wife!"

"Motherfuck!" Deb says, and tries to come in the room, but Quinn stops her, holding her by her waist.

"No. Let her. Batista is a big guy, he can handle himself." Quinn quietly says. Out of the corner I notice his eyes following Vogel's every move.

On the other side of glass, Batista turns his head toward Vogel and calmly smiles at her before gesturing for her to sit down. His posture is softened and he seems more relaxed now.

"So it was you." He comments. "You sent me that message."

"What message?" Evelyn asks confused.

"The one about my dead wife." Angel places his head on his palm, adjusting his elbow on the table, and slowly yawning. "Forgive me, I must be tired. I've been on a crime scene this entire night, and I'm really exhausted."

The doctor returns to her chair, shaking her head and becoming more agitated than I've ever seen her.

"I don't know anything about any mysterious messages. I only want to know if I need a lawyer, because this is more than ridiculous. I don't even know why are you acting this way toward me. Yes, I omitted some parts of my past, but I've done nothing but help you from the moment I showed up here. And forgive me for not saying aloud that my motive for helping you, besides my friendship with Thomas Matthews, was the fear that this killer is obsessed by me. It's obvious that I would have to share details from my career, details I'm not really proud of. So I decided against it."

"You don't need a lawyer." Angel is still smiling. "The case is officially closed. But I want you to know that I'm not fooled by you. And I want you to realize that I've worked with Thomas Matthews for ages. And I love Debra Morgan as my own flesh and blood." His smile fades away once again, protectiveness creeping into it. "So when the murderer chooses to make a goddamn show of a crime scene, and kill my coworker, and when I see someone that I consider my family and when I see someone that I consider my family shaking at a fucking crime scene the way Deb did last night, that angers me. Do you realize that? Albert Yates targeted people who worked on this case. But I don't consider him intelligent enough to stage all of what he did last night. So he most probably had help. We almost accused an innocent man, Eric Watson, for all of this. But I think we've been looking into wrong direction all this time. So, Dr Vogel, it was nice knowing you. But I want you to know that I'm watching you. If anything ever gives me enough reason to arrest you…I will."

Angel slowly gets up, and leaves the room, his smile still on his face. I resist the urge to talk Vogel, knowing that Quinn is observing her every move, so I decide to follow Angel. Deb stays behind us, and I don't even spare a glance at her.

I'm too conflicted too.

* * *

Deb is still thinking about the incident that happened this morning and how angry and offended Dexter looked when he left her house. She wasn't really planning on doing anything, but that moment of weakness, that small moment of his body being close to hers while she's still trying to process the crime scene the Brain Surgeon left, and the way it made her head spin…that moment of him being there for her almost made her forget what she found out about him. For a second everything was as it used to be, him being the rock of her life.

When she placed her hand on his chest it was real. His heartbeat was calm and reassuring, and she felt safe for a single second. But it was her own brain that warned her… And she said "I don't feel safe around you." not to him, but to herself. It was a surprise to her how quickly his body reacted, and it still makes her quiver that she actually_ wanted _him.

And then he pushed her against the counter, and she panicked when she saw that look in his eyes. If they went further, he would've hurt her once again. Just like he did that night. She closes her eyes, both nausea and strange sense of enjoyment washing over her as she remembered… She can't think of that. She can't let herself think.

Deb drinks her coffee half listening to Masuka's newly made jokes and Miller's complaining about her headache when she sees that Dexter is looking at her from his lab. His eyes are dark and there is something in them that chills her bones. Despite everything she knows about him, Deb had rare moments of fear of him.

The first one was in that church, second one was when she discovered his blood slides, so she ran away from him. Her heart was madly beating when she got out of his apartment, and turned around to see him standing behind her. It felt almost the same as when she realized that Rudy was the Ice Truck Killer. She was running, hearing his footsteps close, and thinking that she's going to die. But her throat was closed, and she never even thought about calling out for help. The only thing she could think of was that her heart's going to give up. But her legs betrayed her first and she almost fell on the sidewalk, throwing up.

The third time she got scared was when he told her about his Dark Passenger. She listened his voice and felt the dusk inside him, the same darkness that filled her the night he decided that he had enough and that he'll do whatever the hell he wants with her.

It was the same right now. She kept staring at him, not knowing what's the right thing to do. Look away, and lose this challenge, or keep watching and lose yourself in his eyes? Because she got so easily reminded of his hands on her wrists, his teeth on her neck, and the twinge in her chest reminds her that she lost the one person she loved the most. The one she was ready to give up everything for.

So what's changed? Dexter's stare softens and he closes the blinds, but Deb keeps looking in his direction. Why is everything so complicated? Why does he make mistake after mistake? And why does she keep doing the same? The right thing was to turn him in. Laguerta would be alive. Harrison would be safe.

Dexter would be on death row.

_Dexter_... would be on death row.

She couldn't let that happen.

Deb lowers her head, catching a breath. It's difficult to breath.

It was easier for her to say the she didn't want to have sex with him. In a way , she didn't. But she enjoyed it. Too fucking much for that kind of situation. Being fucked by your serial killer foster brother, who has his serial killing girlfriend is fucked up. Deb knows it the best.

Maybe what surprised her the most that _he _was so persistent to have her. Or that she was actually afraid of rough sex for the first time in life. Or that he was capable of that kind of sex, but then again, he is a merciless killer, so it shouldn't be surprise at all.

And Brian..She felt _Brian_ fucking her. Like his ghost rised and whispered things to Dexter, and guided his hands and his mouth on her body. She could almost feel him _inside _her when Dexter plunged for the first time, and her breath stopped.

_But not in a bad way._

And it still sneaks up on her, that knowledge of how _good _ it felt when she gave up on struggling and just let go. It was pointless, deep inside she knew where it will all end from the moment he followed her to the bedroom, and it was ridiculous even trying to fight him. Dexter always did what he wanted to her, and she knew he will keep taking from her until she has nothing left, because that's who he is.

She wanted for him to go on this morning. He already raped her every way possible, he took her soul, broke her mind, bruised her body, but she would give all of that in a split second once again. She would give him anything. Because it's Dexter.

He gets out of his lab, and slowly walks by, his hands in his pockets, gliding down to the elevator, and putting on one of his fake smiles for one of the officers he meets along the way. She slowly looks up and watches his strong back and his toned hands as he smoothly presses the button and waits for the elevator. It takes few moments, but the door open, and he turns around before they close.

And fucking Hannah. She wants that he leaves with her, that he disappears once and for all and never puts his hands or mouth on her. She wants him on the other side of the fucking world.

But she fucking _hates _him for leaving. And there are moments, like when he says he loves Hannah, when she would scream at him, shake him by his shoulders, take out her gun and shot him just because she can't stand it.

And where the fuck is he going? To her place? Is he going to make little serial killers, plan about his and Hannah's bright future somewhere in fucking Argentina? Is he going to bruise her like he did to Deb? Does Hannah even lets him to do that to her? Well, Deb didn't either, but he decided he will do whatever pleases him with her "_because he can and he wants it". _She could say she didn't enjoy it. She could say he did force her. But in the end of day, when she allows herself to think in that direction, she never felt more alive than that night.

And the strange part is that she felt how much it meant to him, too. He let his Dark Passenger take her, but it didn't kill her. So can that beast be tamed, maybe..?

Dexter looks Deb straight into her eyes, he obviously knew she's been watching him. She flushes, feeling like he read her mind.

Then the door close.

Deb feels her stomach rebelling and walks to the kitchen to make herself a tea. She has promised Astor and Harrison to take them out for the beach today, and knowing how active Harrison has been lately, she will have to save all her energy for him.

Which means no more thinking about Dexter today. Ha, like that could happen.

* * *

Quinn listens to Angel's ramblings about Evelyn Vogel and the stupid message she sent him, and he tries to dial the number, but it's obviously disconnected, as he expected it to be. An hour later, he takes both Deb and Angel for lunch and pokes Deb for not eating all, since she looks like she could use some food, but that worried look on her face makes him stop. He is concerned about her health, and he suggests she visits a doctor, just to check her blood or something, but Deb tells him to properly fuck off in her typical way.

"You really don't look well. You look like a Santa Muerda lately." He mimics her tone, and Angel bursts out laughing, remembering the moment.

"Oh fuck you Joey!" Deb chokes on her drink. "I have a hot beverage in my hand… Think wisely, my fucking asshole friend, before speaking."

"Yeah well, I missed joking around with you. Expect more of these coming your way." Detective takes a phone out of his pocket. " Is Jaime watching Harrison and Astor? I need to talk to her about something."

"I don't know." Deb answers. " I have them later on, if that helps."

"So you don't know if Dexter's home." He asks as a matter of fact, sipping his drink. "I've noticed he's around Vogel a lot. That's not a good thing, you know. She is not a very good company."

"I don't know, and I don't care, to be fucking honest." Deb answers, tensing a little.

"Vogel." Angel puffs out. " Don't mention her anymore. Please, I've had enough of that woman lately. Can you believe it? Look" he addresses to Deb "look what she sent me."

Deb takes his phone and stares for full minute at it.

"Isn't that insane, or what?" Quinn asks standing up, and leaving.

"Deb?" Angel asks, noticing she's gone pale. "Deb, are you all right?"

Deb doesn't answer.

* * *

Hannah is taking out the trash when she notices two young men waving and calling her out. They're obviously much younger than she is, and it would be flattering that they're considering her attractive if she wasn't so damn pissed at whole male population right now. She is glad that this motel is deserted and that it seems that nobody else is around right now, so she's not drawing attention to herself in the middle of the fucking day, but it's still pretty risky cause anyone could show up any moment and notice her.

She walks by them, pretending she doesn't notice them. She has red hair and glasses and she doesn't look like herself at all. No one will recognize you. Just calm down, Hannah.

"Nice tits." Boy puckers his lips at her, and makes some rude noise, that gets on her nerves. She's fighting the urge to flip him the middle finger, but she knows better. It's not them that she's angry at. She obviously needs some time to process the fact that Dexter lied to her last night.

"Hey, come on. I've told you you've got nice tits. Be polite and say thank you." The other boy yells. "What a stupid bitch."

"Yeah, well, look at her, she must be a hooker. Look at that ugly hair. She looks cheap." First boy chuckles, then raises his voice again. "Hey lady, how about I give you 5 dollars and you suck my dick?"

Hannah speeds up, giving them just a glance. She sees they're fist bump' each other and the second one leaves, the one that called her a hooker gets back in his room.

Little scumbags.

She closes the door behind her, and leans against cold wood, her eyes closed. Why is she doing this to herself? Why can't this be any easier? Why the fuck is she hiding in this fucking motel, with her hair died in the ugliest shade of red possible, waiting for Dexter, who keeps coming back to his sister? Dexter that lied to her last night?

"Fuck you, Dex!" She hits the door with the back of her heel."Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!"

Those two little bastards are right.

She's a hooker. Dexter's hooker. He comes here, puts on a condom, like she's got some disease or something, fucks her, and then leaves. Except the only thing he does is to pay for her rooms, he insists that she doesn't touch her money. Yeah, he usually brings her food and clothes, anything she needs, anything she asks, and he massages her feet and he listens to her dreams and he agrees to go with her to Argentina.

And then Debra calls and he runs off like a puppy.

Debra.

Debra Morgan is the real reason why she's here, in this dump, hiding. Why she doesn't have her beautiful garden full of flowers, and her old truck, and her golden hair that she loved so much. Why she can't have everything she cares about.

It would be so easier if Debra just died in that car accident.

She opens her door once again and yard is deserted this time. Today is so hot that even her breathing makes her sweat, so she nervously passes through yard and goes toward beach. It's small wild beach, and she strips her clothes of and jumps into sea.

She usually hates water, but today, she's completely different person. Hannah wonders how much did she actually change because of Dexter.

The answer forms on itself pretty quickly: not enough to let anyone fuck around with her and leave unscratched.

* * *

It's a shock after shock, after fucking shock…. The whole universe is doing it's best to punish her, and Deb is asking herself what's next in the line of shitballs that will be thrown her way. Everything is set so perfectly up in order for her to snap in one moment and go back to that situation where she held a gun against her temple.

How many more steps before she actually pulls that fucking trigger? Before she says it "fuck it" and lets death finally grab her? Deb shakes her head, cursing.

Harrison, Harrison, Harrison. It's all about him.

Keep thinking about him, Deb. He is the only part of Dexter that you still can protect. He is the only part of you that you still can protect.

Driving is really tricky considering that she's hungry as hell, but seems can't take a single bite, since food smells disgusting. She must've caught the virus that Miller has, the woman was throwing up all over the crime scene last night. Feds were looking at her like she was from a different planet, and Angel has been looking both dumb and apologetic at the same time. It wasn't pleasant at all, since Crawford, the stupid fuck, was so happy with anything that went wrong for MMPD. To be perfectly honest, Albert Yates called 911 before he hung himself, and he practically confessed anything, so neither FBI or MMPD did anything spectacular to catch him. While investigating his house, they found two more bodies and the case was closed quicker than she could say "it's solved my ass", but Deb couldn't do anything about it.

From one side there was the crime scene that left her completely paralyzed and from the other, Dexter that basically told her to shut up and let the police handle this, and close the investigation since it's obvious that the real Brain Surgeon is fucking with them. The stakes have been raised even higher.

And fucking Dexter told Vogel that she killed Laguerta. Stupid ass motherfucking cunt of an idiot. How could have he been so utterly retarded?

How could've he trusted this person he only just met, that she's going to keep his fucking secrets? Jesus Christ, Dexter.

How much more of this stress can she take? No wonder she's feeling so sick every morning.

She opens her door tiredly, drops her keys on the counter, and her bag on the floor, going straight to the fridge and taking out one more stinking beer. She actually forces herself to drink it.

She makes herself a sandwich, and turns on the TV, and the first news is that Brain Surgeon is finally brought to justice. She frowns and lays down on bed, turning the TV off, and the curling herself into ball, trying to collect what's left of her strength. The kids will be here soon.

But sleep doesn't come so easily, so she starts eating her sandwich, and wandering around house, and then she remembers something. Being under all of this stress, she actually forgot she received some package. Let's hope it's some comedy or whatever, God knows she needs a break right about now.

She puts the DVD in computer and presses "play".

* * *

Evelyn and I meet as soon as Quinn is too busy to spy on her. I leave the Miami Metro only when I'm sure that he'll go on lunch with Angel and my sist- Deb, and I pass right by her pretending that I don't see her. But I can almost feels Deb's stare burning a hole into my back.

Evelyn meets me at one café, and I'm on the verge to object for her choice of meeting spot, so out in the open while somebody might be watching, and she seems not to notice my agitation. Given the questioning she had earlier this day, she should be anything but cheerful, but I, knowing what kind of expert for feelings I am, I might be wrong.

Human emotions can be very complicated sometimes.

I saw that this morning.

I push Deb out of my thoughts, and it takes real effort not to think about her skin under my palm, but I manage anyway.

"How are things with Harrison?" Evelyn starts asking questions first. This one seems innocent enough, and I oblige by answering that everything is fine. Harrison. I really miss him in this moment.

But he's going to Deb's place today and I won't intrude on her private space until she calls me herself. I saw the way she watched me today while I was in the lab, that look on her face was both fear and hate and it spoke directly to darkness in me. This is not good. It's been months and she's still insisting on staying away from me, and that's the reason why I can't function properly and why I made so many stupid mistakes lately.

"_You're thinking about Deb, once again. Stop it, Dexter. It won't do you any good, right now._ " Harry warns me."_ Pay attention to Vogel. Something is not right, son."_

"I'm glad that Harrison's okay. Children are what matters the most, Dexter." She sips her coffee calmly and sighs, watching the distance, her eyes following two boys playing on the beach.

"Of course they are. I would do anything for Harrison." I answer back, pushing back Harry's voice and concentrating on what Vogel is saying.

"Yes. And I would do anything for mine, too."

Silence. I wait for her to continue and my fingers start twitching a little.

"I consider all of my patients as my children, Dexter. But you are my most successful project yet, and I'm glad that Harry listened to me." She continues flatly, before I have to protest over her term "project", "Otherwise, there wouldn't have been the Code, you would have been captured and put in an asylum for the rest of your life. Consider that scenario, Dexter. Tell me what would happen with your psyche?"

"I would have snapped. I would be an even worse monster than I am now." I answer after thinking about her question.

"Yes. I thought so." She inhales through her nose, closing her eyes and obviously enjoying the moment. I, on my part am reminded of a yoga class I had with Rita and, my fingers find a perfectly innocent napkin to strangle. The need has came back, I guess. I haven't killed in awhile, I guess it is taking it's toll on me.

Oliver Saxon will be real treat.

Evelyn opens her eyes and looks directly at me, sensing the change. She smiles, and says nothing. I raise my eyebrows and grin at her.

"You see. The Code. If you didn't have the Code you would've snapped right here." She nods in my direction. "But there were less fortunate people, Dexter. Psychopaths that didn't have the Code to guide them, so they stayed trapped in their own malice and misfortune, slowly drowning and becoming alpha males, stripped of all emotions. Of all sense for justice."

"But, lucky me, I had the Code, so I got to live out of an asylum, breaking the heads of dolls in white room, and splashing beautiful red syrup over my perfect white kingdom at day, and doing the same minus the fake head, and fake syrup at night. White walls are optional but that doesn't matter anyway since they're always covered in plastic." I speak out, my tone staying the same all the time. "Have you gotten all of this down for your book? Will I get a copy of it once I'm on death row?"

"You're still upset over that incident with patient zero? I said I'm sorry, and I stopped taking notes, Dexter. It is all going to be fine, now that this case is over." She soothingly says.

"I'm not upset, I'm _angry_. Of course I haven't forget that. And this case is far from over." I lean forward hushing my tone a little, although it's not necessary, since we're pretty much alone, and I already said the most important part aloud. "This gut is smart. This Oliver Saxon. He made it look like Yates did it, but it's not him. I know it's not. The pieces are too neatly wrapped up, Evelyn. It's just a question-"

She interjects harshly. "The case _is _over, Dexter. There won't be more chopped up brains on my doorstep, I assure you."

"I'm not talking about chopped up brains on your doorstep. You're not the only one he is molesting." I mimic her tone. "I'm talking about him making an exact replica of Debra's scene. That's a threat to me. I'm not stupid, I've had enough killers on my table to recognize any kind of menace that might come my way." I straighten my posture. "Why are you so suddenly doubting my intuition?"

"The Code is not perfect." Vogel says, "it has it's errors like anything else."

"I'm not talking about the Code either, I'm talking about myself, about my instincts." She is playing some kind of game, and to be honest, I've had enough of them with other two women in my life.

"Yet the Code is what's driving you. It makes every decision for you." She insists. " But I'm saying it's not flawless, Dexter."

"This is not about Code. It's about protecting my family." I'm exhausted, it would be so wonderful if I had only one night to stalk, kill and dump in the ocean six black bags in peace, and enjoy the big, fat old moon above Miami. The moon that doesn't rant about me not going to Argentina with him already, not calling me a fucking Frankenstein, or "project" or whatever and not making me lose control.

Yes. I want the moon. Am I asking too much?

"Everything is about the Code. I thought you already realized that." In response I shake my head tiredly, and she presses on. "And yet the Code was pretty limited when it comes to exceptions. For example, your sister is one."

My eyes widen in revulsion. " Don't put "Debra" and "fits in Code" in one sentence. Ever."

"But she did kill an innocent, Dexter, now didn't she?" Doctor keeps a calm and controlled tone, and manages to make me feel like a lab rat once again.

"Yes, but because of me!" I on the other hand am much less kind and composed.

Her voice stays serene. "Laguerta was still an innocent. It doesn't matter why she did it. Yes, she was forced, in a way. But she still did it, Dexter."

I could go further with this clash but I know that there is some point to her saying all of this, and as soon as I shut my mouth, I will find out what's hiding behind her words.

Satisfied that she got my full attention, Vogel blinks and smiles kindly at me. "I told you I care about you, like you're my child." Her smile widens. "My good, obedient child. And I want you to understand that I would never ask of you something I don't think you're capable of."

I watch Harry appearing beside her, as if he's taking her side. That hurts me in a way, he is a product of my imagination, and yet he's trying to find a way to agree with her.

"_You're trying to please Dr Vogel, not me, Dexter. After all, she is the closest you have to a real mother. That is why you care so much about her."_ He softly says.

Great, now I care about Vogel too. One more person on the list of people I care about. One more weak spot for me, and more thing to worry about.

"_It was easy in the beginning_." Harry smiles. "_The only thing you ever had to do was to listen to me."_

"Yeah, Dad, and to take care of Debra." I answer. Given it's _Debra, _it wasn't easy. Being her brother must be one of the toughest tasks I was handed.

" _It wasn't that hard." _He complains softly."_That one came naturally to you."_

"Are you paying attention to me?" Vogel's voice brings me back from my discussion with Harry.

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" I apologetically grin.

"I said that your knowledge of the Code could be a good start for some other people, some people considered fitting for your table, if we go by Harry's and my book." Oh she sure is overconfident sometimes, now being one of those times. "Boys who weren't lucky enough to have Harry as a father. We've established that even Debra begins to meet the Code. Therefore, going by that logic, there are people who were less fortunate than you, and they should be given a second chance and an option to learn the Code, if they're willing to do so, wouldn't you agree?"

I have to say that I have no absolute clue what she's talking about. Seriously. It must be that I'm getting old, or that my Need is starting to press too much, or that past few days, or better yet, months have been hilariously difficult to handle, but I'm not following Vogel at all.

"Evelyn, I had years of training and best teacher I could have. The Code is about discipline. It takes commitment and.." She interrupts me once again.

"Yes, and Harry's dead now. But you, you Dexter, are the one that knows the Code the best of all people. And you're the one that could be teaching it now." She places her hand over mine, and watches me unblinkingly. "The Code is yours to perfect, and you did it the best way you could." She then tugs at my handto make me even more concentrated on her. "Think about Harrison. Think about it if you had to teach him that sometime." That thought makes me shiver violently, and I break physical contact, getting up nervously.

"I don't want to talk about that. I don't want to think about that! Harrison will be fine." I hiss at her furiously." You said it yourself that he's fine!"

"Sit down, Dexter and calm yourself." She says authoritatively and I surprisingly oblige. Sometimes I wonder if she sent me into a corner would I listen to that too. This woman really has her way with me. I should do something about that. "You should take care of that need of yours. It's pressing on you too much."

"Yes, I will have Eric Watson, or Oliver Saxon on my table as soon as possible. Maybe even tonight." I smile ruthlessly, thinking about all they ways I could kill him.

I will make blood flow. Beautiful, black blood. Sliding down the plastic and making wonderful patterns…

"Dexter, you can't kill Oliver Saxon." She says forcefully, and then sighs. "I want you to promise me something. You will meet me tonight, and I will show you something. And you will not go after Saxon before I say so. Is that all right?"

"I need this kill, Evelyn, I haven't killed for an entire month!" I'm almost desperate. Why is she torturing me?

"Just promise me that." Of course, I do as she says, and then she continues. "I will show you something, and I want you to think about that option of you teaching the Code to someone. Remember that it could've been Harrison."

"You're draining me, Evelyn." I exclaim, and then add. "It's not fair by you to ask everything from me, when you even haven't told me that story about your nephew."

"We'll talk about Daniel some other time" She sternly says.

"When?" I rub my eyes and yawn.

"Soon. You have to trust me, Dexter. And I'm telling you once again. I love you like a child and I'm confident that you'll know to do the right thing. Harry and I did fantastic job with you."

Not really, but I won't argue. I just want to go to sleep. Or find someone to kill, since Saxon is still off the limits.

* * *

Jaime meets Dexter in the apartment and she watches as a father plays with his son and stepdaughter. He looks really sleepy and tired, but he pushes his crankiness away and takes a newly bought green elephant toy, which Harrison, as expected, names "Dan", and gives Astor new shirt he just found for her. She is amazed how he got her size accurate, given that Dexter was always almost blind when it came to guessing the correct size for anyone else except himself. Usually it was Jaime who did the shopping.

Dexter of course secretly mentions that there was girl that was almost the exact dimension as Astor, so he just purchased what that girl's mother did, too. Amazingly enough, Astor likes it. Jaime laughs at her dorky chef, and kisses Harrison lightly before they head off to Deb's place.

Jaime stops on her way to Debra's and buys ice cream for all of them, and calls Deb to ask her if she needs to bring something else. Debra doesn't pick up her phone, so she just shrugs off and continues her hint for groceries.

It takes her half an hour to get to her bungalow, and Harrison is already screaming, dragging Dan with him, and he almost trips and falls in front of Deb's door. He knocks and calls out for her.

Astor comes closer, and observes. "Maybe she's asleep. Look, her balcony door are open." All three of them walk in, and Jaime smirks at the mess in Deb's house. This girl is really creative, Jaime doesn't think she's ever seen anyone messier.

"Deb!" She calls out, waiting few moments and then calling louder. "Debra!"

Astor inspects the house and returns confused.

"She's not here." The stupefied girl makes Jaime squirm. She presses the button and calls for Dexter.

I try to reach Deb for tenth time, but it's in vain. She's not answering her phone. I nervously pace around room, thinking about calling Angel or Quinn when my phone rings. I seriously consider not answering it, since it's Vogel, but it keeps ringing. So I take deep breath and use my best " I'm busy, what do you want" voice.

"Dexter. Your sister called me. She wants to meet with me at the cemetery." Vogel says worriedly.

"What cemetery? And since when does she have your phone number? What's going on?" Thoughts rush through my head. It must be Saxon. He's got her. He's going to hurt her. He will hurt Deb.

"Dexter, she could've gotten my number from anyone in the station. And I know what you're thinking, but I assure that Oliver doesn't have her. This is something different."

I'm still trying to catch my breath.

"What cemetery?" I repeat my question.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

It's been a very long time since I visited Harry's grave. Deb was the one that would usually go and clean it, and take flowers there, but I never had such a habit. To me, Harry wasn't dead. He was well and alive, and beside me most of the day. There was no need for me to visit a stone and cold ground and pretend that my father is there and can hear me. It is just a useless ritual humans created just to make themselves feel a little better. There is _nothing _once the light leaves the eyes. I know, I've seen it too many times in my life.

I made it happen too many times in my life.

Vogel keeps carrying her coat even though it's hot outside. She elegantly walks, carrying a bouquet and giving me occasional glances and encouraging smiles. There is only one person and it's a groundskeeper that reminds me of Speltzer and I unconsciously smile, thinking of the fun we had during our playtime.

My smile drops, when the vision of box fool of blood slides disappearing into fire comes to mind. My little, fateful friends. I miss them. However, that vision is quickly replaced by another, even more disturbing sight.

Deb is hunched over my father's grave, and I can see she has her gun by her side. That doesn't look good. Although I'm confident she didn't call Evelyn here to hurt her, distress, plus Deb, plus a gun is not a favorite combination in my mind. But beggars can't be choosers so I decided to follow Vogel, instead of waiting in the car. Although, I'm fairly certain that it's probably a much better idea for me to stay away from my sister. I don't know how right I am, until Deb turns and sees me.

Next few moments are blur. All I know is that at one point Deb has hit me so hard in the stomach that I almost loose my breath and collapse on the ground, and she kicks me with her leg, still screaming at me. Vogel grabs her from behind and Deb visibly tries to calm herself down, so she doesn't hurt Vogel.

She pushes the older woman off her back and walks around the grave repeating "Oh God, oh God, oh God."

I get up, more surprised than angered by her outburst, and my hand presses against my belly. She kicked me pretty hard.

Deb sits down and covers her eyes, sobbing.

"Child, what's wrong?" Evelyn tries her usual soothing tone, but Deb is having none of that.

"Don't call me child. I'm not your child." She whispers, shaking her head, and then raising her head and looking directly at Vogel "You knew my father."

"Yes, I knew your father." Vogel confirms.

"You were his friend." Deb continues. I keep a safe distance from her and lean on the nearby grave stone. Have her hormones gone completely crazy?

"Yes, Debra. I knew your father very well, and I was his friend. Why?" Vogel won't give up so easily on her comforting tone.

Deb hides her face in her palms, breathing loudly through her nose. Her hair falls over her arms, and she looks like a savage, both her hair and clothes very messy. She looks up after few moments, and her right hand lands on the ground that covers my father's body. She caresses it lightly, and her face changes into a grimace like she is going to laugh and cry in the same moment.

"Did dad kill himself?" She helplessly meets my gaze, seeking a truth I'm afraid to give her. A terrifying truth that broke me, and I'm the _emotionless_ one. "Dex?" Her small voice pierces through me. When I don't answer, her childish look turns to Evelyn. "Dr Vogel? Did he kill himself? Because I watched that video of him, and the note said it's the last video in your collection, and I… My dad… He… It was a heart attack…It was fucking heart attack..." She gasps for air and moves her arm from the ground to her chest. " But it…wasn't really?"

She is weeping without any real tears, and I wonder if she's going to pass out and should I come closer. Only I'm paralyzed on the spot and I can't do anything except helplessly watch her break over the new piece of the dreadful puzzle called "Dexter Morgan".

Vogel looks at me, and she's actually genuinely surprised when she sees my face. I finally react and kneel in front of her, taking small, measured gusts or air. I take her hair off her face and place my hands on her both shoulders.

"Deb… " I begin, and lose my thoughts. She is looking at me, those hurt, lost eyes that say that she can't do any of this anymore. She is breaking down, worse by every passing second.

"It was a heart attack. Dex. Tell me." She opens her mouth but slight hitch escapes her, and she keeps them open trying to inhale more." Tell me. Please."

" I'm sorry, Deb." My voice breaks along with my heart. " I'm so sorry."

"Why?" She is fully crying now. "It was you. It was supposed to be you. He was good fucking man." Deb turns her attention to Vogel. "You were his friend! Why didn't you save him from Dexter?" and then her attention turns back to me, eyes wide and face stricken with tears. Her scream is muffled and desperate and I want to rip that pain out of her. But I can't. And it burns that I'm the one that imprinted it there in the first place. "You should've been fucking dead. Not him. Not my father." She hits the ground with her palm. "_You_ should've been buried here! Not him!"

I grab her face between my hands and press my forehead against hers. "I know, I'm sorry Deb, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I stroke her hair and kiss her temple, and I hope she sees just how remorseful I am because of all of this.

Deb lets me pet her like a child, and I whisper in her ear all the soothing words I could think of. It's like when Cody had to have dental surgery, he was so scared, and Rita was calming him down. She managed it masterfully, so I try my best to do what she did.

But I'm obviously not Rita, and Deb is not a child.

Her face is red when she furiously gets up, massaging her forehead and walking in circles, while her head shakes in disbelief. It's terrifying how quickly her mood goes from depressed to livid. In one moment she looks like she is reaching out for me to hold her and in the next one she is gnashing her teeth. She picks up her gun and holds it by the barrel, as if she's contemplating if should she hit me with it, or shoot me.

Vogel sets the bouquet down, acting like she hasn't witnessed all of this, and I continue kneeling down, sure that Deb will strike if I only get up.

"This is your fault, too." Deb points one accusing finger to Vogel. "If had you insisted to send this thing" her finger goes to me, "to an institution, he would've been alive. My dad wouldn't be fucking eaten by worms, while Dexter keeps playing butcher around Miami." Evelyn comes closer to Deb, and out of the corner of my eye I notice Deb slightly raising her gun. I decided to take it away from her, just in case, but before I even manage to get to her she's already turned her gun toward me. Now this is a situation we have been in already. And too many times, in my opinion.

"Don't fucking move" She growls. "Or I'll …"

"You'll what?" Vogel asks curiously. "I understand your pain, but you can't change the past. Your brother is your only family, and no matter what he did in the past, you have no one but him."

"I don't have him. I never fucking had him!" Deb raises her voice. "I asked you once if you're even capable of love and…"

I cut her off. "And I told you I love you." My frown deepens as she looks like she's about to burst out laughing. "What do you want me to say? It is what I feel, and you might hate me, and you have every right to after all of this."

Deb raises her eyebrows at me, and her lower lip trembles. "I shot an innocent woman for you. I'm a murderer because of you. I'm a murderer because I protected the man that fucking killed my father!"

"I'm sorry." I repeat weakly. "I would change it if I could."

"Yeah, well, it's too late now. Just like the lady here said." She tilts her head to Vogel. "We can't fucking change the past. But I can change future, and I am going to do that. No more begging, you hear me?" She comes closer and presses the cold metal against my chest, hissing through clenched teeth. "Harrison is staying with me. And if you try to do something stupid, it will get messy. And there will be fucking blood, Dexter. Yours or mine, it's your choice."

"I would never hurt you." I try to ignore the uncomfortable sensation of the barrel so close to me, but it's getting impossible, so I raise my hand and take it.

Vogel watches in horror, and she carefully speaks out our names, trying to pull us out of a trance.

"I could force you. I could force you to kill me." Deb smiles coldly. "I could make you slit my fucking throat, just like you did to your real brother."

I close my eyes, remembering Brian's final words. "_You're living a lie…_"

But it's not a lie. What I feel for her is anything but a lie. I could doubt anything, anything in this world, except this. Even now, when she could end my life with simple, quick snap of her finger, I love her more than Brian, or even Harry could ever understand.

"I would kill him again." I speak out, and open my eyes. "In a heart beat." Resentment colors my voice. "And I would've killed Laguerta if I had a chance. She threatened to hurt _you_, and she made a mistake. One I wasn't willing to forgive."

Deb stares speechless, and her gun limply falls by her side.

"I know I am monster, Deb." My voice is certain right now. Darkness is slowly creeping into it, and red is pressing against my temples and behind my eyelids again, and I'm so close to reaching out and asking Deb's permission to hold her. It seems that only she can take it away. "I'm a beast, and I know you hate me. But don't ever question how much I love you. And don't insult me by saying you could force me to kill you. I would never, ever do such a thing. And don't talk about Brian anymore. He could never mean more than you. No matter what. He tried to replace was ridiculous attempt that was doomed from the start. No one can replace you. "

Deb's looking at the ground, sniffing as her tears silently fall down her face, and I wipe her cheek with my knuckle. "And I'm sorry because of Harry. He was my father, too and I destroyed him, just like I'm doing to you. But you're stronger than he is. And I need you in my life. Because you're stronger than me, too. "

She leans into my touch, and the agonizing look on her face crushes me. I come closer and hug her, silently enjoying the smell of her hair, the familiar scent of love and forgiveness. There is still my Deb, somewhere inside. She is still present and alive, and I have to find a way to reach out at her.

She's not trying to get out of my grip, and I gently nuzzle her chin with my nose, smiling at her. "Why did you send that message to Batista?" Deb suddenly asks, and I'm brought to reality again when her warm breath tickles my ear. She hasn't broken our hug, but she's staring intently at Vogel. "Why did you made Angel suspicious?"

But Evelyn blankly stares at her, looking utterly confused. "What message?"

Deb explains everything, and I'm ready to snap at Vogel, when she starts swearing that she had nothing to do with her. And the worst part is that both Deb and I believe her.

"Wait…Then… who else knows?" Deb asks looking at me, and cold shiver passes through her body when I give my worried response.

"I honestly have no clue, Deb."

* * *

Angel writes down his speech for the commemoration service for Thomas Matthews, and sadly smiles over the irony. He was the one being on field most of the time, and yet Matthews, and Maria, people behind desk, met death before he did.

He leans back in his chair, slowly closing his eyes, when the memory of Maria's perfume brings him to his senses. She is standing right in front of him, and Angel rubs his eyes, not believing this is what he sees.

She is wearing one of her colorful costumes, short skirt and blouse, and there is a necklace that he gave her in their first month of marriage.

"Hey there." She says simply, smiling at him. "Gorgeous."

"Hey there beautiful." Angel replies, standing up and coming closer. It is really her. He looks outside and sees everyone acting normal, Masuka and Quinn arguing over something, Miller writing on the board, Dexter dressed in a white mantle, carrying some box with him, and closing the door of his lab. Matthews is watching at them, and his look is not approving at all, but Angel ignores him.

He silently closes the door.

"What are you doing..?" He feels her hands on his back.

"Staring at your ass." She chuckles in his neck." Admiring the view."

He turns around, and closes the blinds, slowly walks her toward the table. Her heat is making him dizzy, and he is playing with her hair, letting it fall on her shoulders.

"I've told you your hair is more beautiful when it's not tied up..", he muses, his lips finding hers.

"I know. I remember." She answers playfully. "I just didn't want to tease."

He is holding her close, listening to breaths, but it's her heartbeats that really confuse him. They're _missing. _But he doesn't allow that detail to disturb this perfect moment.

"I miss you so much." He says inhaling her perfume, and chuckles when she tickles him, giving him one quick peck on lips before she grabs the badge from his table and holds it up for him to see it.

"This. This always belonged to you. I'm so proud of you." She continues with a brutally honest voice. "You're best person I ever knew, Angel. And you're a good cop. No matter what you think. No matter what someone might say. You are a good cop. You just need to follow your instincts, and it's going to be all right." she caresses his cheek.

"I don't know what the truth is, anymore, Maria." Batista sadly smiles.

"Yes, you do." She convincingly says. "You are the one that always seeks it. I wasn't always a truthful person, Angel. And God knows that I hid the truth million times. But let me tell you something…" She gives him a conspiring look, "The truth is always hiding in plain sight. Always. Who is missing here? Think."

Angel can't think, he doesn't understand her question. All he wants is to stay here, with her.

He reaches between them, placing his hand over her heart, and he feels something wet. Angel looks down and finds his palm covered in blood, blood pouring out of her wound, and tries to speak, but horror grips his chest, and her feels like he's drowning, as he watches Maria falling on the floor, his badge still in her arm.

He falls on the knees on her eyes, and her eyes lovingly follow his palm as he tries to stop the bleeding. Then a pain in his own chest paralyzes him.

Angel wakes up startled, shaken to the very core, trying to comprehend the dream.

The twinge still there, and he tries to calm himself down, but it won't go away so easily. He gets up and calls out for Miller who is just passing by the office, to give him some water. She gives him strange look, but obliges, and Angel sits back on the chair, when he hears Masuka's voice.

"Bro, are you okay?" His perverted friend asks." I told you not to push too far with that porn I installed in the office. It could get deadly."

"Yeah, well.. " Batista gives him weak smile." Should've listened to you."

* * *

After one more episode of threatening me, and warning me about Harrison, Deb storms out of my view, and I do absolutely nothing to stop her. I'm tired, more tired than I thought I could be, and luckily for me, Vogel seems more silent than ever. We walk slowly through memorial park, and I follow Deb as long as I can see her, and then she disappears in her car, and I sigh.

"She's really got you." Vogel absently says. An unfamiliar shadow passes over her face, I'm tempted to ask what's the problem, but Evelyn quickly pushes the subject further. "I couldn't recognize you there. You let her kick you and scream at you…"

"I broke her heart. " I explain the most obvious thing in the world. "It seems that's the only thing I'm good at." I sorrowfully roar, kicking the stone on my way, stuffing my hands in my pockets. "It's what I mastered. My craft to hurt her." I shake my head angrily. "It was just a question of time when she would find out about Dad. She deserves better than to be hurt by me every single second. "I shut my eyes tight for a second, pain washing over me." But I can't just let her go. I can't."

"Why is that?" Vogel says.

"Because I never had to pretend with her. " I repeat Harry's earlier words. "She always felt true. Not even Harry could evoke that in me."

"But the Code…"

"The Code has nothing to do with Debra!" I snarl impatiently, annoyed by her insistence to bring that stupid set of rules where it's not needed. "I love her, I told you that. If anything _I'm_ breaking the Code when it comes to her. I shouldn't hurt an innocent, and yet I'm killing her. I'm killing her with everything I do, and I don't do. My own existence is destroying her!"

"Dexter…" Vogel utters, "You can't change who you are."

"I know. But sometimes I want to. Like right now. I wish I could've been a better brother to her. I wish I could be better person, a person that deserves her. That same man she was seeing for years. I wish I am my own mask."

"Maybe you can help someone else." She carefully says. "Maybe you can help me."

"How?" I ask, interested.

"Come with me." She answers.

* * *

Mama Cass' record plays for the third time, and sound of music fills the heavy air in Evelyn Vogel's house. It's been quite some time since she left her house, and her new tenant is wondering if he should trust her. He slowly eats the food she made for him, and drinks her tea, texting one of his hookers from "Romero's". Hot, sour liquid fills his mouth, and he makes a face at it, spilling it in the sink. It's still that same tea he used to drink as a child, and he almost forgot how much he hated it.

Only now he is not a child anymore, and Evelyn won't force him to drink it, even if it's "good for him", as she used to say.

"I'm sure you will be surprised, Dexter, but there is lot for you to hear and understand, so I'll ask for your patience" He hears his mother's voice before he sees her, sound of dangling keys fueling his uncertainty. What if she betrays him? He decides to stand in the living room and wait for whatever will come his way.

Seconds later, Dexter Morgan is standing in front of him.

It's maybe a quick flash of light, or something else that disturbs his focus. He doesn't quite understand how it actually happens, but in a blink Dexter is pressing him against the wall, his left forearm crushing his windpipe, and shining object dangerously close to Oliver's left eyeball. It's a knife. Six inch of pure, hard steel, waiting to be sent right trough his brain.

Vogel is quickly grabbing Dexter by shoulders, shouting at him to stop doing what he does, or he might kill her child.

It takes several moments for the clearly stronger man to respond and let go of Oliver who falls on the ground, gasping in painful effort to fill his lungs with much needed oxygen.

One more thing on his very long list of reasons to entirely destroy Dexter Morgan.

"He is your son?" Dexter repeats for a second, or third time, not believing. "He is Daniel Vogel?"

"Actually, it's Daniel Watson, but who cares? I was adopted by Richard and Evelyn." Oliver weakly smiles from the floor. "Good job here, almost killing me. You've been working out, Dex."

Dexter scowls at him and warns him in a low voice. "Don't you fucking "Dex" me. What the fuck was that last night?"

"What?" Oliver replies innocently enough. Evelyn hands him glass of water he eagerly drinks, and wipes his mouth, getting up.

"That little show last night. The crime scene in a garage." The man in front of him asks, still holding a knife.

"Oh.. It was an homage to you, Dexter. You are a second son to Evelyn and I wanted to-"

Dexter shifts closer to him, and Oliver notices he couldn't defend himself if his "brother" attacks. So he decides to play it gently, continuously forcing his hands to stop trembling.

"Cut the crap, Saxon. You made an exact crime scene that Rudy Cooper made when he tried to kill my sister." Green eyes pierce Saxon's bright blue intently.

"I didn't mean to" Saxon lies expertly "I thought you would like it, I thought you would like what I did."

"How do you know my method, anyway? You watched Evelyn's videos or what?" Morgan is breathing through his nose like an animal, which Saxon finds amusing. He will push his luck with the truth this time.

"I watched _you_ do it. Those two guys you killed. It was wonderful." Oliver stretches his shoulders. "You were so focused and organized. That's one of the reasons I want to learn the Code."

"You fucking followed me?" Dexter growls, and than laughs humorlessly. "You want to learn the Code? Really?"

Evelyn shakes her head furiously, while Dexter watches her unbelieving and bursts into high pitched laugh. Oliver would love to cut out his tongue.

"So this is what you've been hinting at this afternoon?" He bitterly says, waving with his blade and laughing once again. "You want me to teach _him _the Code? You can't be serious. You should know that I would _never_ agree with such a thing."

"You didn't even try!" Evelyn argues and receives one amused look from Dexter.

"Yes, you didn't even try." Oliver warmly agrees, extending his hands. "I really, really want to learn from you!"

Dexter's head shakes slightly and he narrows his eyes at Evelyn. "Don't tell me he managed to fool you into believing that this is what he wants? Look at him, he is a full fledged monster."

His merciless words seem to shake Evelyn, but Saxon quickly replies in order to gain control. "Yet I'm not the one that almost broke your neck and cut out your eye, correct?" He tranquilly says, putting his hands into pockets, and Dexter returns his knife in his belt, titling his head and observing with his wild eyes.

"Please, Dexter, just hear me out." Vogel begs, but Dexter cuts her off shortly, saying no, and leaving the house. She apologetically looks her son her who gives her reassuring smile.

His revenge is _already_ going well.

* * *

I'm out of Evelyn's house and all I want right now is to see Harrison. Knowing he's most probably on the beach, and he doesn't need my negative energy around, I turn to the second choice, Hannah. I miss her hair, and her warm body around mine. Soon enough, we'll be out of this madness. I've found Oliver Saxon, and all I need to do is to convince Evelyn he needs to die, and then I can leave for Argentina. Out of Deb's life, out of my complicated life in Miami. Right into bright future.

"_Have you considered how will Harrison react when he sees Hannah, Dexter?" _Harry asks. "_He hasn't seen her in months, he most probably forgot about her by now. It's going to be a shock for him to lose Jaime, and Deb and change his surroundings completely. And Astor and Cody? What about them?"_

"He likes Hannah, dad, You know it. I don't think he forgot about her, he even asked about her few times. Regarding Astor and Cody, we're going to visit them as soon as we can, and we'll be in contact with them."

"_And Debra?" _He reminds me of what I avoided.

"Deb can visit us, too. She knows about Hannah, and she will be in touch with us."

"_I think she told you not to write, and not to call once you're gone, Dex. And I don't think she'll let you take Harrison anyway…" _He trails off. I roll my eyes, and glance at him, begging him to drop the subject. "_And Saxon might be bigger problem than you think right now. Evelyn cares about him so much, she's not going to just let you kill him. You know that."_

"Then I'll have to convince her somehow that there is no hope for him. She is reasonable woman, she will understand."

"_There is no "reasonable" when emotions come into play. Dex. You saw it with Deb this morning, didn't you?"_

I cringe at the thought of wanting her that way. This past month has been abnormal, I shouldn't think about her like that. What the hell is wrong with me?

"_Maybe she's something more to you...?" _Harry worriedly asks, and I shake my head.

"No. Deb is in love with _me, _but I'm not in love with her. I'm in love with Hannah, and that's the way it should be."

"_The same Hannah that tried to kill Deb…What was the point of killing Brian, then? Dexter?_"

I don't answer. I don't have any for his last few questions.

He leans backwards in his seat. _"I think you should be very careful, son. Very, very careful. Storm is coming. You should better get inside the house while you still can."_

Storm is coming, indeed, I realize when Hannah opens her door, and doesn't bother to even kiss me. She turns around and sits down on bed, her face stone, and red-brimmed eyes as she follows my every move. I close the door behind me, and kneel in front of her.

"What is it? Hannah, what's wrong?" I'm worried, she rarely cries, and this is not something I can ignore. I hold her and kiss her fully on mouth, and she doesn't respond. "Talk to me."

"Where were you?" She asks timidly like she's afraid of the answer. Does she feel something on me? Can she feel what happened between me and Deb this morning? At this thought, my stomach twists. How could've I been so stupid? Now I've hurt both Deb and Hannah. And I've hurt myself. "Where were you this entire day? Not a message from you, nothing. I was scared something happened last night. I thought Saxon got you."

"It's okay, he didn't hurt me." I respond. "I was on crime scene, so I didn't get to see him…But I saw him half an hour ago, in Vogel's house…Hannah…He is her adopted son."

Her blue eyes widen, and she gasps. "Oh… Oh don't tell me.."

"Yes, he is." I declare dimly, giving her sideways look, and just as I expected, she reads my mind and rolls her eyes in aggravation. She knows me so well. She understands me. That's why I love her.

"That complicates things." She gets up, her mouth turning into an unpleased expression. "And that's because Vogel cares about him, and you care about her."

"I am going to kill him" I hurry to reassure her. "But I just need some time, okay?"

"Time is what we don't have, Dexter." She grabs my face and desperately says. "It's just a question of time when someone will knock on my door and drag me into the station. And I won't be escaping this time! And with this Saxon knowing the truth, police might get close to you, too."

"If I sense danger, I'll kill him and we'll be on the airport on our way to Buenos Aires before you even blink." I smile at her, kissing her softly. I don't like it when she's terrified, I need to protect her.

"Does your sister know I'm here?" She suddenly asks, and I freeze. If I lie, she'll know. But If I tell her the truth, she will get even more paranoid. Anyway, I decide to be honest, so I nod.

"She will hand me to the police. " Hannah cries out. "I..I did that stupid…fucking…thing I'm not proud of and that gotten us into this situation. I swear I'm sorry but she won't forgive me, Dex, I know that! You need to protect me from her." She embraces me tightly, afraid to let go.

"Deb won't hurt you." I promise "I can handle her."

"She managed to drive us apart once…Dex…I'm afraid. First there is Saxon, now your sister…"

"Don't worry, I'll protect you from anything. "

She meets my gaze. "Including Debra?"

I sigh. "Including Deb."

"What does she thinks about us leaving?" She mumbles into my chest.

"She is not thrilled. She wants to keep Harrison here." I answer, kissing the top of her head.

Hannah angrily mocks me. "No, she wants to control you that way. If she has Harrison, she has _you _by the balls, Dex." I chuckle at how wrong she is. Deb actually wants me gone. "Have you ever wondered how far would she go? She could put you behind bars, she has enough evidence." Hannah suddenly bursts out, and I laugh a little at her. But her sad eyes convince me there is nothing to laugh about.

"Deb would never betray me." I push her on the bed gently. She smiles and takes her shirt off, inviting me to join her. I take my own shirt off, covering her body with my own, and parting her legs, so I can rest there. She pushes her pelvis up to tease me and I place my hand between her legs to hold her still.

"I'm the only one that would never betray you." She whispers when I get rid of our clothes. "You remember that." She gives my erection few strokes, and gasps when I enter her. "I'm yours and you're mine. It's the way it should be."

"It's the way it should be", I repeat after her, and pleasure makes my voice hoarse.

"_I love you, Dex_." I hear Deb's voice, and I sharply open my eyes, staring at woman in front of me. Hannah notices something's wrong, and stops her movements for just a second, and than drags her nails across my gluteus.

"I said, I love you." She smiles seductively, digging her nails into me. "Don't you love me, too?"

Instead of answering her I breathe hard, trying to shake of feeling of someone _else_ underneath me.

What are you doing to me, Debra?


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"So what's your plan exactly? You will pretend to teach him the Code and then you'll get rid of him?" Hannah plays with her hair, and thinks of the moment when she's going to dye it back to her regular color. "What about Evelyn?"

"I will make sure she understands it's necessary. There is no other way, right? I mean, I can't let him walk around freely, I can't kill him just like that. But at least now I know where to find him, that's the good part." I get up, drinking a beer and searching for my shirt. Hannah gets the shirt under her pillow, throwing it at me.

"Dex… I don't feel safe here anymore." She squirms, holding something back. "There have been some boys, and… They were saying stuff to me."

"What stuff?" I ask, interested.

"Stuff…Like…" She shakes her head, thinking off what to say. "I don't know. Stuff! For a second I thought they were going to rape me."

"What boys?" I angrily turn around. "Where?"

"They're in Room 7. I was really afraid. I was locked inside my room for the entire day." She helplessly says. Then adds. "It's nothing, I just…Felt like they were going to violate me, and I wanted to share it with you."

I open the door and get out in the yard, quickly approaching room 7. I knock on the door, and when the boy opens his door I grab him by the throat hissing in his ear and pointing to Hannah who follows me closely, begging me to stop. "If you ever, _ever_ again just look in her direction, I will fuck you up, do you understand me you little piece of shit?"

The boy starts crying and saying he's sorry, and that he didn't mean to, and Hannah lays her hand on mine, calming me down. She looks at the boy and smiles.

"You see? I'm not a whore." She leans into his face.

The boy apologizes once again, hot, stinky liquid covering his pants, and I let him go, disgusted.

Hannah and I return to the room, where she massages my shoulders and thanks me for being there for her. As I take my phone, Jaime's photo greets me, and I answer the phone call. I watch Hannah stretch and think how I absolutely hate that shade of red she got instead of her blonde hair, and shrug it off when Jaime asks when I plan on coming home, since Deb is still not there. I promise I'll be back soon, so I finish getting dressed", when Hannah suddenly asks. "Laguerta. She was disgraced, no one tried believed her. Why did you decide to kill her?"

I think about it, confused. I haven't told her about Debra doing it, and I don't want to explain it right now, since I'm in a hurry, so I quickly shut the topic down. "She had warrants on Deb's and my phone, and she could prove that Deb was in that church, too. And Deb said she wasn't there, so she could prove that Deb was lying. I don't want to talk about that now, I need to go. Why did you ask that?"

"Because Laguerta was your boss, and sort of your friend. You knew it would hurt Batista if you killed her. Plus, she was an innocent. So I'm wondering, why not kill Saxon, too?" She kisses my neck, and looks me directly in my eyes. "When have you gone so soft?"

"I don't know." I chuckle. "But I'll make it right."

"I hope so." She smiles gently, caressing my cheek. "Remember, it's us that's really important now. You, Harrison, and me. We are a family, Dex. I don't want to lose you."

"You won't, I promise."

"You better keep that promise." She mumbles before she kisses me full on the lips.

* * *

"It's stupid." Daniel repeats once again, and I struggle with my inner desire to strangle him.

"It's not stupid. It's a very important part of the Code. "Never kill an innocent" is not something you can just cross off." I argue with him, and Vogel hushes me down, since she's trying to read something, and my voice is obviously giving her problems.

"It's about not getting caught, not about playing a damn hero, Dex. Admit it." He insists, and I roll my eyes and flex my neck, trying to ease the pain that's been built there.

"No one said it's about being a "hero". Who said that?" I quickly say, frowning at him.

"Well, Harry did. Why did he think of that rule, anyway?" Saxon mimics my tone, and now it's his turn to get shushed by Evelyn. I grin at him, giving him "Ah, you got it, too, fucker." And he secretly flips me a middle finger. My grin grows wider.

It's been this way for almost two weeks.

I've been teaching him the Code, or more like, _trying_ to teach him the Code. At first I didn't care at all, since my only goal is to kill him in the end, but now it gets me frustrated how he manages to turn every part of the Code upside down and make it complete joke. It's not a joke, it's the way I've been living my whole life. Once I try to explain it to Vogel, she doesn't listen to me and I ask myself when the hell she lost her mind.

Harry, on the other hand, hasn't appeared for an entire day, and I begin to think he's offended by my poor ability to defend his life's work. Today, we're one discussing the importance of getting proof that your victim is a killer and that he will kill again.

"Anyway, what does it matter if he or she is going to kill again? " He asks, attacking the rule once again. "If you fit the Code, you fit the Code, and that's it."

"No, it's not that easy." I turn to Vogel. "Anyway, there is one more thing. I'm a blood spatter analyst, and I have access to evidence, so it's quite easy for me to determinate if someone is guilty or not. Your son" I point to Vogel "doesn't have that kind of knowledge."

"Yet I managed to fool the FBI and a whole bunch of your expert friends." He says easily, sipping the tea and grimacing at it.

"Drink that tea, Daniel, it's good for you." She commands and he obliges unhappily, and then she returns to me. "Dexter, Daniel is right. He managed to cover his tracks well enough and I think he might know what to look for when he starts hunting killers."

"It took years of training for me to master it." I point out the obvious. " And if you covered your tracks so well, I wouldn't have got you. And I did."

"You didn't got me, but I came here of my own free will. This is my mother and I have every right to be here." He simply says, waiting for my response. It's a challenge, I know it, but I don't care. He might've fooled Vogel saying he had it with those types of killing, so he decided to show up, just a few hours after the double murder, I have to add, and to play "lost son coming home". I'm not stupid, and I know Vogel isn't, too. But she's just not thinking straight right now. Her emotions are fogging her mind and clouding her judgment. But she'll realize it sooner or later.

I hope it's sooner rather than later. Because I don't need another Brian in flesh and blood teasing my father's legacy, while drinking some awful tasting tea.

On the other hand, Saxon has been behaving perfectly in the past few days, proving he's more a difficult opponent than I thought. He is clearly interested in fucking with my head in every way possible, and he does an excellent job of keeping me on edge. Ever time I leave Harrison and Astor, I wonder if I'll come back and find them in pool of Jaime's or, I don't ever dare to go there… In the pool of Deb's blood.

And every time I come into Evelyn's house I fully expect to find her throat slit, but nothing happens.

So I'm waiting.

So does he.

In the meantime, I've found new potential victim, Raven P. That would be his artistic name, since he calls himself an artist. He plays drums in local group called "The Group" and I'm trying to understand how they even got an audience. They have been collecting a large population of freaks, screaming and bumping into each other, while trying the best to express how much they enjoy the constant annoying noise Raven calls "the music of Gods".

In the summer of 2011 one of their fans, Molly Mayers, disappeared after going out with their guitarist and her body was never recovered. Later on, that same guitarist killed himself, and many of fans speculated he did it over guilt for what he did to Molly. Then again, in the spring of 2012, one more girl that was a fan of "The Group" disappeared and this time Raven, actually, Rick Ryan, which would be his real name, was called in for questioning based on accusations of one her friends that said Molly was having an affair with Ryan.

Since Molly's body has never been found, too, there was not enough evidence to support the theory that Ryan had done anything wrong, although he had no alibi for night of her disappearance. Molly's friend was stabbed to death by a group of local kids, who were, surprise, surprise, fans of "The Group".

I enjoy the silence in Vogel's apartment since Saxon is obviously concentrated on not throwing up his tea, and I drink my coffee, enjoying it's taste, while Evelyn shuts her book down and puts away her glasses.

"I want you to take him into the kill room." She says.

"What?!" There goes my favorite pink shirt. I have coffee all over it, and I think I have it on my pants, too. Yep, there it is. Great. I return to Vogel, staring at her. "You want me to take Saxon to the kill room? You can't be serious."

Evelyn spreads out her hands and sets comfortably in her chair "Why not?"

Saxon interferes, using the opportunity to set down the tea. "That's a wonderful idea."

"Drink that fucking tea and shut the fuck up, Oliver." I point my finger at him, and then address Vogel once again. "He is not ready for it. And I work alone."

"You were, with that girl." Vogel reminds me of Lumen, and I'm ready to call her on her bullshit, because Daniel is definitely not a rape victim.

Oh, and I give myself one mental slap for talking to Vogel about Lumen. Good thing she didn't put that in her notes, I would be royally fucked by Quinn by now.

"What girl?" He eagerly asks. "That hot blond chick that died her hair in that awful shade of red? She looks good, but that haircut is dreadful, Dex."

"Stay away from Hannah." I bark at him and shooting Evelyn one pleading look. Why is she torturing me? Wasn't she the one that said it herself that I'm her good child? So why do I get to be the one that gets cornered every time?

"He is not going to do anything to Hannah." She gets up and kneels beside me. "It's going to be good for you, too, Dexter. You said you it yourself that you haven't killed for ages, and the need is pressing on you, so don't hesitate. It might actually be an illuminating experience.

"Yes, illuminating, two psychopaths on the town. We're going to hit the clubs and dance our asses off." I sarcastically exclaim, and Oliver chuckles.

"Why not? It could be fun. There is that club, called "Romero"…"

"I know where "Romero" is. " I cut him off. His attempts to be funny fail to amuse me, and I do not intend to joke around with my enemy. This game of ours is getting tedious, and I start to think about the possibilities. What if I make it look like he attacked me while we're doing kill, so I kill him in supposed self defense? Vogel could forgive that. I think. But I can't agree right now, it would look to suspicious. I need him unassuming.

"No way, Evelyn. Absolutely not." I tell her, and get up, ready to leave for work.

* * *

Quinn meets Angel in front of the Miami Metro, and it takes only one look on his face for him to realize that something is not right. His friend calls him out, and gets his phone out of the pocket, sticking it into Quinn's face. He actually has to withdraw his head to read what it says, and then he gives Angel one confused look.

"It's again the same person. I don't know what these mean, Joey, I'm really confused." He admits.

"Someone is messing around with you." Quinn says, trying to sound believable. But he gets what Angel's been trying to say. They thought it was Vogel sending him these messages, but she had no motive to do that anymore. So who is after Angel?

"You think this is just messing around?" He asks concerned.

"You don't actually think any of this is real, do you? " Quinn replies, taking the phone and reading the message once again. "Did you run the phone number? "

"Of course I did, nothing came back." Angel shrugs off wiping his lower lip, and adjusting the hat. "I might wanna take a look. Just a look. "

"I will go to Vogel's house and talk to her." Joey walks in the building, entering the elevator, as Angel follows him. "Just to check it out if it's her, you know."

"Thank you, Joey, this is really pissing me off." Angel nods, and the elevator door open, so they walk in the department. They greet Miller on her way to the interrogation room, and Masuka silently hands Quinn a magazine, that he recognizes as one of his scientific things that everyone in department, except for Dexter, hate. That's probably because Dexter is the only one that can understand anything that's written inside.

"I will give a lecture at the university on Thursday. Feel free to come and enjoy in the full hour of scientific erection followed by a masterful orgasm of newly acquitted knowledge." He grins to both of his friends, and in the return they give him weak smile. Once he turns his back, Quinn silently mouths "Fuck!" and Angel says "I know."

Both men get to the kitchen, waiting for Deb to finish her tea, and they tease her about giving up coffee, but she gives them a look that clearly says she's not in the mood for jokes. She makes them coffee, however, but takes a box full of cookies for herself, and Quinn sadly watched as she eats them by, not offering any to him. They all get called into conference room by their new Captain, Alan Henley, announcing that there will be a new Chief Deputy taking over Thomas Matthew's place. It's Mark D. Conner, and Angel quietly adds it's one of the best friends of Elway, to which Quinn rolls his eyes.

They both share their annoyance over Elway.

Mark D. Conner will have an official dinner tonight, celebrating his promotion in one of his restaurants, and everyone is expected to attend.

"He doesn't have enough money already, so let's give him a bigger salary", Quinn comments, and both Angel and Dexter, who has joined them in the meantime, nod in approval.

When the crowd clears, he notices Dexter coming closer to Deb, and Deb telling him to fuck off and storming away from him, which gives him a big question mark.

"You're not your sister's favorite person now, eh, Dex?" He asks sympathetically, and Dexter answers that she'll come around eventually.

"I don't know about that, Dex."

Masuka interferes, and then turns to Quinn before noticing the cookies Deb left on the table. "She hates him for quite some time now, you know, I'm actually amazed how much different their relationship seems lately. I'm glad because I can actually joke on Dexter's behalf, without worrying about her famous punch being thrown my way." He takes full mouth of cookie, and Quinn says he's disgusting, so he fires back. "You're just jealous, because I got the leftovers first. It's not fair that Deb gets to at them all."

In that moment, Deb shows up in the doorway, threatening. "Hand me fucking cookies. Now."

"Wow, one of those days?" He comments, and gets a punch in his arm, and a simultanous "fuck you" from both Deb and Miller that's been walking by. "Women." He says rubbing his arm, and fixating a look at Dexter, who appears to be amused. "What, Dexterous?"

"Nothing. It's nice that she hates someone else, for change." Dexter replies, smiling. Quinn nods, taking his phone out and texting Jaime he's going to be late for dinner.

He has some other plans, right now.

* * *

"Deb, you really need to stop eating everything thats passing in front of your , you're going to get fat pretty fast. I mean, look at me." Miller points at her hips, and Deb contemplates about pointing out that she's skinny by most of the standards, quite the opposite to Miller, but she keeps her mouth shut. That's why it was always difficult handling a women population, Deb usually says the wrong thing, which end up offending someone. So Deb has spent most of the time around men, and that's where she's comfortable.

Beer, sports and weapons. That's her stuff.

"Anyway, care to share some of that chocolate you attacked?" Angie pushes further, smiling, and Deb hands her the sweets reluctantly, which makes Miller laugh. "Oh God, Masuka is so right, isn't he?"

"No, he isn't." Deb frowns, opening one more cookie box, and eating it. "I don't feel well, to be honest, this is the only food I can eat right now."

"Well, that's the way with stress, it's taking it's toll on you." Miller sympathetically adds, handing back the chocolate, and watches when Deb turns to leave. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to Francine to ask her about this new Chief Deputy. She knows him well, so I want to see what we're dealing with." Deb turns around and goes to the basement. On her way down, she sees a familiar figure watching her, and she pretends that she didn't notice Dexter at all.

Francine greets her with her usual warm smile. Who would say that this girl will get engaged, after all the love turmoil she had in her life?

"Hey there, honey." She waves to Deb to come in. Deb offers her some chocolate, and she declines. "I need to stay fit, for my wedding. It's in two months, I can't even look at sugar by then."

"A little fat won't fucking kill you." Deb smiles and picks up one case file. "Simone Garrett, I remember this one. Have they ever found her killer?"

Francine takes both case file and the chocolate out of Debra's hands, putting one away, and stuffing the other one in her mouth.

"Hey bitch, give that back!" Debra laughs.

"Mhmh, honey you offered it. O fuck, this tastes good." Francine enjoys the chocolate like it's the last thing on Earth she's going to eat. "You're not the only woman in the room on those days, and fuck you, I can feel the fat collecting on my butt as we speak. You're gonna burn in hell for this one, Debra Morgan."

"I'm already in hell." Deb murmurs, "and I'm not on my period, fuck you, all of you." She receives strange look from Francine. "You, Masuka, and Miller are on my back. I'm not having my period, actually I'm late if you really wanna know, but that's not important. That fucking Mark D. fucking Connor, what's his deal? He was head of Vice, and I don't know much about him, which is strange, since guy is here for ages."

Francine crouches, picking up some old box and cleaning the dust from it. She puts it on the counter and sneezes, frowning at the carton. "I'm a fucking cleaning lady and everything here, my God, it's no wonder that there is so much dust here."

Deb retorts wryly "How is that possible? You're like human fucking vacuum cleaner."

"Oh fuck you, honey. Who are you to teach me about being tidy?" Francine smiles and opens the box, getting out one more old case file. "Anyway, that Mark fucking Connors is a friend of my dad's. He is not scandalous at all, that's why you haven't heard much of him. He's got a wife, three children, all of them well educated, a dozens of restaurants, since he was already wealthy, his grandfather owned a oil factories back then… And he's got powerful friends, I'll tell you that. And Deb.." She leans forward, whispering. " I think I should give you heads up. "He is a very close friend to your ex."

"I met him once in his restaurant when Elway and I wet out." Deb remembers. "But we never spoke of him."

"Well, yeah, have you ever wondered how Elway knows everything that's happening here, and why are doors always opened for him? He could come back anytime he fucking wanted, and trust me when I say this, honey, he is not a half of a decent cop to have such a treatment." She leans and says in Deb's ear. "So be careful, 'kay, baby."

"Thanks." Deb smiles, and turns around to leave.

"Deb." Francine calls out from behind. "Don't forget what's left of your chocolate."

* * *

Oliver picks up his plastic rolls and stashes them in the trunk, finding it amusing how it's just too much preparation for kill, and wonders how it's possible Morgan hasn't been caught already. So much meticulous planning can only destroy the thrill of a murder, and that's one unforgivable sin.

There is nothing more beautiful than seeing blood flowing, hearing the screams of a helpless victim left at your mercy. It's absolutely breathtaking, that moment when the lights go out of their eyes for one last time, and he could watch it over and over again.

But the horrible truth is that now he wants the Code to himself. Never mind that it's boring and it's fucked up and it sometimes makes no sense whatsoever, he _wants _it, because he wants what Dexter Morgan has. That man, that's been living his life.

He drives through the streets of Miami, eating and driving around his favorite neighborhood, where the "Romero" club is. He keeps going and fifteen minutes later he is in his kingdom, where the magic is usually happening.

It's the old psychiatric facility, closed for years. A few junkies have tried to inhabit this place over the years, but they would disappear before anyone could notice they're missing. He didn't enjoy killing them so much, those fucked up souls have already been so lost that most of them didn't even have that glow he loves to take away in his eyes. They would have already been dead for some time, so ripping their body apart was really nothing.

He breathes in and out, the familiar, dusky air in the building making him feel safe and serene. He stashes the plastic in one of the rooms, hiding it along with his laptop, where he usually films what he does. He is Vogel's son, after all, she loves to document her achievements, so does he.

When he just started, he loved to rip the shirts of his victims, and bathe them in blood and keep them stashed, but it was really messy, so he dropped that habit. DVD-s are easier to preserve anyway.

Oliver hides everything he purchased and grabs his keys, returning to his car. On his way to Vogel, his phone rings, but when he sees it's Dexter, he just turns it off.

He loves pissing off Dexter. The blood spatter analyst may have been trained to kill, but Saxon was much more brutal and naturally gifted, obviously. He saw how strong Dexter can be, so he knows he has to use an element of surprise if he wants to take him down. But not yet.

He wants _everything_ Dexter can give him, and he intends on taking it.

He knows Dexter will try to take him down once they're in the kill room. He is not stupid. But he has to find a way to survive long enough, to put Dexter on the table and actually make Vogel kill him. That's his plan, and he won't give up. Let the mother that took away Saxon's life by locking him up, take away the life of Dexter Morgan.

He could have killed Richard Vogel, but he knew that Evelyn could never forgive that, so he decided to play it smart. So if he has to learn this Code, so he can become like Dexter and live his life, so be it. The Code is the answer, and he's going to have it.

He drives back to Vogel's house and knocks on the door, and she brightly greets him. It takes only two minutes before someone else knocks on the door, and Evelyn turns to open it.

The smiling face of Detective Joseph Quinn greets her from the other side.

* * *

"It is you again, Detective." Vogel smiles, and Joey asks if can he talk to her outside. It's beautiful day, and he's not in the mood for tea or anything to drink, he just wants to ask few questions and that's all.

"I would be happy to oblige." Vogel answers, " just wait for few seconds, and I'll be right back with you. I've left my tea boiling, and I don't have enough money to purchase another house if this one goes into flames." She smiles, and he gestures with his hand for her to go on.

Evelyn quickly returns inside the house and warns Oliver to hide. Although he is not accused of murder, it will be one hell of explanation how Eric Watson showed up in her house.

"He hasn't noticed anything, but I'm afraid he might want to come inside the house after all, and he can't see you, Daniel." She says, hurrying him up to go upstairs.

She returns outside, and both she and Quinn start walking down the shore, him being in the mood for chatting. After some small talk, he stops and faces her, and she watches her son's car just few meters away, glad that Quinn isn't that good cop after all. If it was Debra Morgan, she would surely sense that something is wrong. Thank God for the incompetent cops of Miami Metro.

"I will cut my visit short, Dr Vogel, I have a lot work to do. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I had to ask you about those messages my friend has been receiving, and I wanted to make sure it's not you. " He gives her one reassuring look. "And I believe it's not you, so don't worry."

"Thank you, detective." Vogel calmly breathes out.

"How is your experiment going on?" He asks once again. "That patient zero… Any progress with him?"

She meets his gaze, and slowly smiles. "I told you everything you had to know about patient zero, detective."

He mimics her look, and nods. "Sure, you did." Then he extends his hand, and prepares to leave. "Thank you for your time, doctor. It's been a pleasure, as usual."

Vogel returns the compliment. "The pleasure is all mine. You're more than welcome in my house."

She returns to her house, and Quinn gets to his car.

* * *

Angel is still giving occasional glances to his phone and the message he received regarding Maria's death, and then his phone actually starts ringing and startles him. He curses and answers it.

"It wasn't her, Angel. I'm sure of that." Quinn's voice greets him, and Angel starts feeling dizzy. If it wasn't Vogel, then who is torturing him? Joey's voice shakes him out of his thoughts. "But check this out… I was parked there and I got stuck on the phone with your sister, and…Then someone came and went into Vogel's house. She almost hugged him when he showed up."

"Who is it?" Angel asks curiously.

"Eric Watson." Quinn's voice gets dark note. "and I got his license plate here. Vogel and I walked right by his car."

Angel writes down the plates. "I knew it. Motherfuckers have been working together all this time. I will have Masuka and Dexter working on this case day and night to prove-"

Quinn's harsh voice cuts him off. "Don't!"

"What?"

'Don't! Don't tell Dexter about this. He is close to Vogel." Quinn sighs slowly. "We're doing this one without him."

* * *

"Hannah, it's just a dinner, I'll be back with the Vogels soon. Yeah, I know you want it as finished as soon as possible..Yeah I get- " I argue quietly with her and then line goes dead. I sigh, and start dressing myself. I don't have time to waste on this official crap, I don't care if Mark Connors is a new president of United States, to be honest. I need to kill Saxon.

Astor knocks on my door, and hands me a tie she picked up for me. "This one. Jesus, Dexter, you look like you're attending a funeral, not dinner. Wear the green fucking tie, it will bring out your eyes."

"Astor." I warn her. "What have I told you about cursing?"

She shoots me challenging look. "I'm not a kid anymore, Dex."

I hate it when she tries to sound like grown up.

Jaime walks in, carrying Harrison's green elephant and taking it to wash it along with clothes Astor left on the bathroom floor. She picks up the covers from my bed and puts them in the basket, puffing hair from her face. "She's been this way for entire week. Messy, and swearing. I think your sister has more influence than we originally thought."

"It's not Deb's fucking fault." Astor argues with her. I guess my step daughter has more in common with my sister than I thought. It can even be seen in her relationship with Jaime, she doesn't hide that she and Jaime are not having very good relationship.

Harrison runs in jumping on the bed and grabbing the covers so Jaime can't take them off. He giggles and makes a face at Astor.

"Fucktard." She comments.

"Astor!" I yell at her. I'm tired, I'm so tired. Can't I have five minutes of peace to dress myself and contemplate about my next kill room? Why is life so cruel on me sometimes?

My nanny gives me a disapproving look for not giving Astor a proper lecture, and my phone rings again. I take Harrison off the bed with one hand, and answer the phone with other. Astor asks Jaime "What?" in a tone that's actually starting a fight, and then I hear " Fucktard" once again and finally snap.

"Astor! What have I told you about swearing?!" I roar, and both her and Jaime give me puzzled look. Then I realize I heard the voice on the phone.

"Hey fucktard, I'm not Astor. What the fuck is taking you so long? Angel called. He has no car and you were supposed to pick him up! And now I have to do that instead of you." Debra's angry voice fills my ear, and I'm sure I've lost my hearing for good minute or so.

"I have a situation here." I answer, and set Harrison down on the bed. He jumps after Astor and they start chasing around. "I'll be there in a minute."

"No, you won't. I'm already picking up Angel. Take that bottle of whiskey I brought you for your birthday last year. I'm out of money right now and that's a fine bottle and we need to get something for Mark fucking Connors."

I disagree, my eyes following Harrison running after Astor. When did he become this active? "Deb, it's my birthday present."

"Well, who gave it to you?" She asks.

"You did."

"Then I'm fucking taking it back. Take the bottle and hurry up." She hangs up the phone.

My sister has found a new ridiculous way to punish me. In the past two weeks she done nothing but prove to me how much she hates me. And it's taking it's toll on me once again.

Astor screams in the kitchen, and Jaime rushes to see what happened.

I follow her, looking for the bottle, and finally finding it, when Astor shows her hand, where Harrison clearly bit her.

"Little fucker did this to me." She says through clenched teeth.

"Astor!" It's Jaime's turn to yell. She turns around at me, wild faced. "Dexter, tell her."

I grab the bottleand disappear. "Sorry, I'm in hurry. Deb will kill me." Angry looks by both Astor and Jaime pierce my back on the way out.

My women are extremely difficult to handle. I can take out Little Chino and make him into six neatly wrapped pieces and one perfectly good blood slide, but when it comes to handling Astor, Jaime, Debra and Hannah, I have no first clue what to do. And most of the time I feel like they're actually slicing me up.

Like, right now.

* * *

The restaurant is not as fancy as I thought, so we're all overdressed for the occasion. It's actually a warm, little place, lacking the formal atmosphere I suspected, and it makes people relax quickly. Batista stretches in his suit and even takes his hat off, since it's pretty hot in here.

Quinn and he talk about something quietly and a detective points out to Batista's phone few times. They look around and then keep talking once again.

Deb and Francine are sitting at the second table on the left and I'm wondering if she actually chose to sit away from us, so she doesn't talk to me. We saw each other on a regular basis these days, Astor and Harrison spending lot of time around her, and we also met while during our work time. But we were alone only twice, and both times she told me she doesn't want to talk to me, that I'm the one that should have been dead, and not Harry.

She is dressed in knee length blue dress, and she's wearing heels once again, which is odd for me. I'm used to see her in shirts and jeans, not this.

Both she and Francine laugh at something, and I catch myself staring at her face. She is beautiful, her features have something different, she looks more elegant than before. I don't know what actually changed, I can't put my mind on it. Is it her, or the way I look at her?

"Hey, Dexterous." Masuka elbows my in my side, getting my attention. "Look who's coming."

Elway comes into the room, greeting Mark and his daughter and he waves at us, and comes to greet me. Angel gives him one long, hard look which Elway pointedly ignores, and he smiles at us, turning his head around. "And…Where is your beautiful detective?" He asks Angel, and then turns to me. "Your sister?"

"She's sitting right there." I smile softly. "Ignoring you."

Elway glances into Deb's direction, and she quickly turns her head away. It's obvious she doesn't want to see him any more than she wants to see me, but I somehow enjoy in this feeling of torturing him. This is what you get for buying her that dress, Jake, my friend.

"Ah. Excuse me." He smiles again and heads in her direction. We all watch intently as Deb talks to him for few minutes, and then he leans and says something in her ear. They share long look, and she gets up, following him.

"What the fuck?" Quinn comments. "Oh come on, Deb!"

"Hey, you should have eyes for my sister only." Angel warns. "I love you bro, but if you mess with Jaime…"

"I'm not..I mean.." Quinn stumbles. "I know when I don't have a chance, but this guy is just irritating."

Masuka places a hand over Quinn's, "You almost spent your wealth, Joey. Elway is still rich guy."

"Shut the fuck up, Deb's not like that." Quinn pushes his hand away.

"I know dude. She wasn't. But who knows. Large bank account equals one perfect girl's wet dream and-" Angel interrupts him, disgusted.

"As your boss, I'm warning to you to stop that right now." Angel sighs when Masuka opens his mouth to speak again. "Now, Vince. I'm not going to come to that little conference of yours if you don't shut the hell up, okay?"

I glance at my watch. Five minutes. She's been outside for five minutes. Alone. With him.

Hannah texts me something about going out on the beach, and I answer it's not the smartest thing to do. After all, it's night. She tells me to mind my own business, she can take care of herself.

I talk to Angel about some new equipment we need in the lab, and Masuka keeps joking about Elway paying it for us. Of course, Batista snaps, and tells him he won't be coming for sure now, and Quinn backs him up. Actually, I think they're just trying to make excuses not to come.

Mark starts his speech, and finally, 45 minutes after they left the room, Elway and Deb return, him escorting her back to her seat. His hand is on the small of her back, and her face is pale when she sits down. He repositions and sits next to her. Deb glances nervous look toward exit.

"Oh fuck, I can't fucking believe this." Quinn rubs his head.

"Told you." Masuka answers almost angrily, offended by their easy escape of their friendly duty to support him on Thursday.

Elway stretches slightly and looks in Angels direction, which makes Batista squirm in his seat. Mark finishes his speech and Deb quickly gets up, silently excusing herself. He follows her every move, and checks his watch, tapping on the table and nonchalantly talking to Francine, obviously joking about something.

He is in good mood.

I hate it.

A few minutes later, he comes to join us uninvited, and smiles brightly at me, sitting across the table. All of us fall silent for a moment, and Quinn takes a glass in his hand, before saying under his breath. "You better didn't try anything with Deb." He swallows drink, looking toward Deb's vacant seat. Elway's clearly heard him, but he just gives him his standard smile, and then turns to Angel and me.

"So...You're all familiar with the fact that Mark is my friend." He leans forward, taking a grape in his mouth, and swallows it. "A very good friend, in fact. Now, your Lieutenant " he points his finger toward Angel "told you before, and I'll repeat it. I love Miami Metro, and I know that financial situation is not brightest. It hasn't been that way since Captain LaGuerta's poor demise, and since Morgan stepped down and gave up her place to you."

Morgan? That's bit formal for someone he's been dating. But hey, who cares?

He continues. "So I offered my help to Mark, since I..you know…have money" he says that word like he owns two entire north hemisphere "and I want you, and your friend over her, my man Dexter, to think of what I can do for your lab. As I've heard, there are some instruments you need to buy, so I can help with my donations."

This is devil's offer, and actually there is nothing short of a threat in his voice, and of course we get that, all of us. Even Masuka automatically shakes his head "no" pleading for Angel not to take the bait.

"And in the return you get to mess with our cases? Or my employees?" Angel smiles his typical smile, playing it open.

"No one implied that." Elway smiles. "I told you, Mark is my friend."

"Fuck Mark." Quinn speaks through gritted teeth, obviously not thinking about consequences. "You're doing this to have your revenge for Angel taking Deb away from you. But that was her choice, Jake. Deal with it."

"I know it was her choice." He coldly smiles. "She might rethink that."

It is always fun watching _dead man_ talking.

But by the way Quinn looks at him, I think he might die sooner rather than later.

"We can take this outside. Now." Joey says, heated. "I could beat your fucking ass before _Mark _says I'm fired."

"Joey." Deb's voice interrupts us, I look up to see her face blank when she places her hand on Elway's shoulder and smiles. To everyone else it would look like they were very close friends. Only few of us around the table hear what she says.

"If you ever, and I mean _ever_ come close to me or someone I love." She stops her speech to greet Mark's nephew, cop she knew from Vice. He comments something about her being in a dress, and she laughs. In the meantime, none of us moves, Elway tolerating the obviously hard grip on his shoulders, her fingernails digging into his flesh. I see how his face reddens, but he says nothing. Deb turns his attention to him. "I will blow your fucking nuts off."

"You might regret that." He removes her hand, pinching slightly at the fading scar on her wrist. "You might get your ass bitten when you not expect at all."

"You're probably right, but if anything happens to her, I'll find you." Quinn cheers to him.

"And you are pathetic, Quinn." He smiles. "That disguise of best friend hanging loosely over your desire to jump into her bed once again is quite saddening. Let's face it, you've been her fuck buddy just like I was. But she was screwing your brain for far too long. You might even think you love her."

Quinn tries to get up, but both Angel and Masuka stop him."I do love her, and fuck buddy or best friend, I will fuck you up if I ever again hear you speak that way of Debra Morgan."

Jake turns to Deb, caressing her cheek, a movement too intimate for this kind of place. People will notice, and it won't look good for Deb. He knows what he's doing, ruining her reputation this way.

But it _is_ her fault that she got involved with him in the first place.

"You have real fan club, Deb. " He smiles. "But if you want real_ fun,_ you know where to find me."

"You're not that good, Jake." She leans toward him, an evil glint in her eyes. "Actually, to be honest, you fuck like you're sixty year old."

"You would know, you had Lundy." He retorts, thinking he saved at least bit of his pride. But Deb is quicker than he thinks.

"At least he knew what he was doing." She glances up and down over his body, her head titling and smile still playing on her lips. "Unlike you….So there you go, that's the real reason I left you. Now save what's left of your pathetic dignity, if you have any, and fucking leave."

"We're not finished." He threatens in her face, and she says nothing.

"Now that's quite enough." I finally speak out, my voice chilling, and he gives me one long stare, as I get up. "Don't make your situation even worse. Let's go." My tone is deathly by now. I won't tolerate his behavior toward Deb any second longer. If he thinks she's unprotected, well, he's about to learn the truth the hard way.

"Dex.." Both Angel and Deb warn, she turns to Elway and says in much different tone. "Please leave Jake. Please."

"See you soon, Deb." He says, not looking at her, but at me. I follow him with my eyes, half aware that my mask fell off.

He disappears somewhere, and Masuka just comments. "Deb…Wow."

Deb and I both sit down and she downs my drink. For the first time I notice her arms are slightly trembling. "Thanks, guys." She says.

It includes me, too.

* * *

I drop Angel off, and head to my house, intending to change my clothes, and take the necessary tools with me. Tonight's the night, I will be stalking with Saxon and finally getting rid of him.

Astor is still watching TV, and Harrison is sleeping in her lap. My children are growing up so fast. Yesterday I was thinking about what to do to keep Astor occupied so I can have more time for myself. Today I'm thinking how to keep her occupied to keep the boys away from her. And Harrison. When Rita said she was pregnant, I thought I won't be there for him. Now I can't imagine my life without him. I will be forever grateful to Debra for convincing me I'll be good father.

Distant memory reminds me that they would still have their mother if I let them be. It's painful, and I imagine myself correcting that mistake.

I will have a new chance with Hannah and Harrison. And maybe one day, my and Hannah's child will come too.

I close my eyes and I see… nothing. Just blackness. What is going on with me? How come I can't imagine anything? What is going on with the picture of my future?

I open my eyes, and back off surprised.

Deb is standing right there in front of me, Jaime letting her in my apartment.

She hasn't changed her dress, and I'm thinking where she could've been, since she obviously hasn't been home. Maybe with Elway…? I push that thought away. I have caught myself daydreaming about killing the little prick while I was in the car with Angel, and it's a bad thing, because once I set my mind on something…

"I will stay with kids tonight, you can leave." She says to Jaime, like she's her boss. Jaime gives me one look and nod, so she excuses herself and quickly leaves. Ever since Deb returned to the force, she was acting weird. I know it has to do with Quinn and his behavior around Deb, and if we are to be perfectly honest, she does have a lot of reasons to be concerned about. It is obvious how much he cares about Debra.

Deb sets down a bag on the counter, taking out steaks and six pack, and handing full box of ice cream to Astor, who happily takes it. She goes to my room wordlessly and shows up in spare jeans she kept at my place and one of my shirts.

"You could've asked." I point to shirt.

She doesn't even look at and when she starts unbuttoning it, and I remember a similar situation that happened years ago, only there was Lila involved.

"It's okay, keep it." I extend my hand stopping her. She turns around to ask Astor how was her day, and the girl yawns, saying it was okay, nothing special. Cody called, and that's about it. Deb nods, going silent once again. I sit down when she puts a plate with steak in front of me and hands me beer, taking a water for herself and drinking it slowly, lost in her thoughts.

"You won't eat?" I savage the meat, although I ate Jaime's dinner just an hour ago. I need to hurry up, Saxon's been waiting for me. I can finish it tonight. I can end all of that _tonight._

Shivers of sweet anticipation go through my body.

Deb takes Harrison to his room, and Astor sleepily follows them, going in bed, too.

I pack my things and do my best to tone down the excitement of what's going to come. I weil satisfy the Need and solve all of my problems. It will be easier for Vogel to deal with her son's death, if I make it look like self defense. In a way, it is. I know he is a time bomb, waiting to strike and destroy everything I've been working so hard to keep my entire life. There is jealousy in his eyes, clear desire to have what I have, and a jealous man is very dangerous.

Especially when he is psychopath.

"Dex." I hear Deb's soft voice from behind, and turn around to face her. This is first time since the day she found out that I was responsible for Harry's death that she seems okay with my presence.

"Yes..?" I ask, expecting for her to continue. She doesn't and I hang the bag on my shoulder, preparing to leave. "I'll come home in few hours. Thank you for keeping an eye on Astor and Harrison. It will all be over soon, I will deal with Saxon tonight."

She sighs and looks down, saying something I couldn't catch.

"What?" My hand is already opening the door.

"Stay." She repeats silently and looks up.

"Deb…I" I begin, not knowing what to say, really. Debra hasn't been this vulnerable for some time now, and it actually makes me feel powerful seeing her this way. I have absolutely no doubt that she wants to be here, and it gives me hope that maybe she won't be hating me that much tomorrow. Maybe there is still some sort of hope to start anew before I leave Miami.

There is Hannah, sitting in a motel room, waiting for me to end my little game with Saxon, and finally embrace our future. The same future I, strangely enough, couldn't imagine tonight.

And Vogel. So full of hope that her son might actually grasp some humanity through my Code and me. How foolish of her to believe that I might be his salvation when I intend nothing else but his demise.

"Stay." Deb's voice once again breaks the air between us.

There is no doubt I will leave. I have to. Too much is as stake, this is the best chance I have to handle all of my problems once and for all. Hannah is waiting, Vogel is waiting, my Need is waiting. I have to please all of them, and I can do that only by going out.

"I must go, Deb." I speak softly, and she slowly nods. She is not going to try to stop me, Deb has accepted a long time ago what I am. I know that, and she knows that, even when she tells me she wants to change me. Despite everything, despite seeing what I am capable off. Despite holding rotten, dismembered, human bodies in her hands, products of my craft, and seeing my gruesome water graveyard displayed right before her very eyes, Deb still finds enough strength to love me. She still wants me to _stay_.

I close the distance between us and kiss the top of head and she trembles slightly.

"Hold me." She says silently.

Although her request seems strange, I suppress the urge to do as she says, knowing all too well that I won't bring myself to separate from her if I do embrace her. "I have to leave, Deb. But I promise we'll talk when I get back, okay?"

She averts her gaze from me, her chest heaving under some unknown burden. It must be this situation with Elway, it was clear it shocked her.

"Just fucking stay. Please." She repeats, tears building in her eyes. "Stay with us. With me and Harrison and Astor. Please, Dex."

"Deb I can't. I need to finish this. It's something I started and it has to be done with. I will have Saxon tonight…"

Deb squeezes her eyes tightly and shakes her head in one slow, excruciating motion. "It will never fucking change, right…? _It_ will always be more important. I am a fool for even asking…"

What can I say to her? I don't have time to explain the importance of getting rid of Saxon. She should've figured it out by now. It's time for all of us to move on, and this is my first step toward it.

She purses her lips and waits for few moments, then hesitantly says. "Okay, go." She looks up tiredly, and then fixes my bag on my shoulder, adjusting it so it fits better. "Just...Be careful."

I smile at her words, knowing how hard it was for her to say that. My beautiful, hurt Deb. It's still amazing how many emotions she can feel at once, and how human she can make me feel. She is still worried for me. After everything that happened between us, after I let her deal with the roller coaster of terrifying fears and emotions, Deb manages to love me.

It's both beautiful and tragic. I feel sudden pang of sadness in my chest, but decide to ignore it.

"I'll be back soon. " I tell her, and get out before she can say anything else.

My steps are quick, as I want to go as far away from her haunting eyes as I can, but her face is still lingering in my mind when I start the car. Hannah calls me once again and I promise I'll take care of everything. Saxon texts me that he's getting impatient.

Harry appears on the back seat, and surprisingly, there is Brian with him, too. My brother is playing with a silver knife I used to slice his throat.

"_Hurry up, son. And be careful, as Deb said. This night is tricky enough, you need to focus."_

Brian looks out of the window. _"I'm seriously offended. You're going to play with that guy, rather then with your brother? Your real brother?"_

Harry snatches the blade out of Brian's hands. _"Leave that, Brian. And he's not going out to play, he's going to kill Saxon."_

Brian makes a face at Harry for taking away his blade, and straightens up. "_I've been thinking about something. I was all into killing this creep, but what if Dexter actually learns something from him? Like, how useless your Code is?_

"_My Code is not useless, it kept him from getting caught, something you couldn't avoid."_

"_I didn't plan that he would fall for your stupid daughter." _Brian presses back, taking the knife and pointing it to Harry's face. "_Goody that he finally understood what's more important to him. His need to kill! Too bad he didn't get that when I was involved. I might've actually escaped that pesky inconvenience of being __dead__!"_He says the last words turning at me and raising eyebrows, his voice going higher at the end.

"_He is doing this for Deb, too. She doesn't need him in his life." _Harry argues heatedly. "_He needs this kill, it's like an oxygen mask to him. And he's doing this to protect her, too."_

Brian laughs _"Oxygen mask, my ass. It's just _Dexter_. Admit it, Harry. If he wanted to do something for Deb, he would've stayed with her tonight. Who knows what Elway did to her."_

"Enough of it, two of you."

"_Shut the fuck up and drive." _They both yell at me at the same time, and continue to dispute, ignoring me.

They both want me to go. Hannah wants me to go. Vogel and Saxon too.

Therefore, I have to go.

It's just moment of perfect chaos around me. My phone is ringing once again, and I ignore it. Hannah is wishing me luck in a message. She says she loves me. She loves me and yet she wants me to risk my life and go in the kill room and try to outsmart Saxon. Just so I can go with her to fucking Argentina, and make her wishes come true.

Vogel says she loves me, but she wants me to get over the fact that Saxon fits my Code, and that he killed Thomas Matthews and indirectly hurt my sister.

They all _love _me, but they're asking me to sacrifice something for _them. _Deb is the only actually worried about what's going on with _me._

"_Dexter, what are you doing? You're wasting time." _Harry glares at me, and Brian backs him up "_Yeah brother, I'm fucking thirsty. Hurry up. Let's spill some blood."_

They're both silent for a moment, waiting for me to react.

I turn around and give them one long, hard look. "Fuck you. All of you." I say, getting out of the car and leaving them to fight.

I know exactly where I want to be tonight.

I approach my apartment and see lights still on. My phone rings once again, and I see it's Astor's number. I don't answer, since I'll be in the house in less than thirty seconds. Strange sounds comes from my house, so I hurry up.

I open the door and find Harrison screaming and Astor desperately clutching something on the floor, sobbing frantically, the phone beside her. She helplessly howls, half screaming ."I …I don't know what's wrong with her!"

Only then do I realize that it's Deb's unconscious form on the floor.


End file.
